The title says it all. For those who dont know my story, my mother and i have had the roughest past three years. I mean, its just been fucking terrible. To recap, teo years ago she kicked me out because she decided that her boyfriend of two weeks was more important than me, so she moved him into our house. I was gone for 6 months living with my boyfriend. I begged her to let me back home because my relationship was really rocky at the time. So i moved back and things were still hard between my mom and i. I broke things off with my boyfriend because things were just really bad between he and i. My mom and i tried to work on things, but a month before i graduated high school, she again kicked me out... Our verbal fight got physical and i now have a restraining order against her. She did not show up to my graduation nor did she tell me happy birthday on my 18th birthday.. My graduation was in June and my birthday was in August. Its now December, with christmas right around the corner and she's made no attempt to reach out to me, though i have tried... I'd like to forgive my mother for all that shes done, but i cannot find myself to do so. I dont know what to do... I just want to move on from everything because it haunts me emotionally. I have panic attacks when i think about her, even now im getting really shaken up. I havent slept much the past 6 months. Im very emotional and cannot keep myself together. I am an absolute mess. I dont know what to do. Anyone have any advice? Anyone ever been enemies with their own mother? Im completely alone on this. Nobody in family understand nor have any of them been through what i had to. I just need to know that i am not the only one... HELP