Discontent

    • Lately, I just don't seem comfortable with myself. There's no problem with my friends, or my schoolwork.
      I've had a lot of crappy stuff happen to me in life.
      I've been bullied. My parents divorced (but that was actually a relief at first, my dad is a terrible parent. Until all the financial problems started). My first and only ex-boyfriend tried to manipulate me into becoming something I wasn't.

      I feel like I'm never going to find a person to love who will understand me. Most of my friends have already dated multiple people. I've only had one relationship before, and it turned out very badly. He wanted to go all the way, and I wasn't ready. He became jealous and obsessive, which made me scared of dating.The people who I like never have the same feelings for me, and my guy friends (who I have no such feelings for) like me, so that makes me feel like a bad person for not returning their feelings, but I don't want to lead them on. This causes a lot of drama in our group. I just feel like I'm never going to like someone who also likes me, it's not working. I guess who I am is also partly to blame, because I'm very independent and I don't get jealous or clingy. I'm very practical in romantic matters. I'm a nerd, I'm awkward and shy, and even though I'm not sad and I have a good life, I feel like I'm never going to be able to experience the same happiness that all of my friends seem to find from their partners. Even when I do meet someone who I could possibly grow to like, I think... They could never like someone like me. And they never do. :/

      I have no problem with being attracted to fictional characters, celebrities, or random strangers I see at my school. But I think that I can only like people who don't like me because I'm scared of getting hurt. At least I know that I have no chance with them.

      Can someone please give me some advice on how I should act on this problem? Or how I could be happier?

      The post was edited 1 time, last by Evenstar97 ().