I'm Stuck in a 7 Year Relationship.

    • I'm Stuck in a 7 Year Relationship.

      I feel very stuck. I am in a difficult position in my life with my boyfriend. We been together for 7 tears. We are very up and down. I try so hard to make him happy, but most of the time I fail, and don’t understand why. I’m very sweet, but it doesn’t seem to help. If I talk about my feelings, he gets mad at me. So now, I feel like I can’t talk to him about anything serious. I hide a lot of my feelings so much. It really is breaking me down. Tonight, I was a complete dumb ass and cried uncontrollably when we had a talk because I couldn’t hold it in anymore. I was shaking, trying to hold in a gigantic cry. It took me a long time to warm up to him again after he cheated on me with a girl he went to school with. So when I finally do, everything makes me emotional and worried. He doesn’t understand why…I think he should understand. History is history. I know I am smart, and sometimes I’m right. But he makes me feel like I am stupid and wrong all the time. He manipulates my mind. He loves me, he just abuses my mind. I get brainwashed into thinking I am dumb, and naïve. I really wish he wouldn’t flirt with other girls. But he still does, and always will. I want to leave him, and show him that I don’t like it. But I love him so much that I stay and give so many chances. Our relationship has really weared me down. I noticed I am a lot more stressed, and a lot more unstable. Everything he does make me cry. He never does anything sweet unless I tell him to. Sometimes I wonder if there is anyone else who would treat me better. Sure, he knows how to buy me anything and everything, but he doesn’t do anything from his heart. Tonight he told me he doesn’t care about sweet things….after I had planned to take a heart-shaped cake to him to work for Valentine’s Day. Now, I don’t know if I should do it or not. It really made me feel bad. –that’s what made me cry like crazy. I had planned this big thing, and he won’t like it.  I reminds me of Christmas when I finally was able to get him a nice present, and surprise him with something good finally. He told me if I got the present, he would be pissed. It really hurt my feelings. He does a lot of things that hurt my feelings, and I cry. He told me they are mood swings. It’s just because I have been wore down so much emotionally. But I can’t tell him that, or he will get mad at me and leave me. When we have a disagreement, It goes from I cry—tell him my feelings—He gets upset with me about overreacting—Then goes on an hour long rant about how I am wrong, and things I suck at. After a while I just sit there, and soak all the negative things in. At the end of the disagreement, I feel worthless. He always asks what I think about it, I never know what to say, because at that point I am speechless. He once told me how sorry I was. Although, I can’t remember why. I feel so sad, and it’s Valentine’s Day. We should be celebrating our love…instead I am questioning it. IT is hard because he is my life. If I didn’t have him I don’t have anything to live for. I really don’t want to live, but he is the only thing that keeps me going, negative or not. I am still living. I am thankful for that. I guess I deal with all the bad things and mean things he says because it keeps :confused:me living. I’m very scared of the day I fail. I know he will leave me for someone else, because I have never been good enough. I’m too insecure and he doesn’t like it. It makes him feel too responsible for me. I’m sure he wants me to be my own woman…but I just can’t. I have no idea what I should do. I’m so lost.
    • Re: I'm Stuck in a 7 Year Relationship.

      Dear friend, I'm very sorry for you! But you must confess that it is "the beginning of the end" of your relationships. He is tired of you, I'm sorry to say that. But he got used to you, that's why he doesn't leave you. Don't waste your time with him. It doesn't really matter whether you are beautiful, clever and kindhearted. If a man really loves you, HE will try to please you and make you happy!!! Dear, don't suffer, everything will pass, you know. I'm sure you'll fall in love with a better guy one day!!!!! Don't miss an opportunity to meat a new friend. Try to forget him, find new friends. And soon - BELIEVE ME - everything will be ok!!!
    • Re: I'm Stuck in a 7 Year Relationship.

      Sockiie wrote:

      I feel very stuck. I am in a difficult position in my life with my boyfriend. We been together for 7 tears. We are very up and down. I try so hard to make him happy, but most of the time I fail, and don’t understand why. I’m very sweet, but it doesn’t seem to help.


      First of all, you shouldn't have to try to make someone happy - happiness in relationships comes naturally - especially after seven whole years.

      Sockiie wrote:

      If I talk about my feelings, he gets mad at me. So now, I feel like I can’t talk to him about anything serious. I hide a lot of my feelings so much. It really is breaking me down. Tonight, I was a complete dumb ass and cried uncontrollably when we had a talk because I couldn’t hold it in anymore. I was shaking, trying to hold in a gigantic cry. It took me a long time to warm up to him again after he cheated on me with a girl he went to school with. So when I finally do, everything makes me emotional and worried. He doesn’t understand why…I think he should understand. History is history. I know I am smart, and sometimes I’m right. But he makes me feel like I am stupid and wrong all the time. He manipulates my mind. He loves me, he just abuses my mind. I get brainwashed into thinking I am dumb, and naïve. I really wish he wouldn’t flirt with other girls. But he still does, and always will. I want to leave him, and show him that I don’t like it. But I love him so much that I stay and give so many chances. Our relationship has really weared me down. I noticed I am a lot more stressed, and a lot more unstable. Everything he does make me cry. He never does anything sweet unless I tell him to. Sometimes I wonder if there is anyone else who would treat me better. Sure, he knows how to buy me anything and everything, but he doesn’t do anything from his heart. Tonight he told me he doesn’t care about sweet things….after I had planned to take a heart-shaped cake to him to work for Valentine’s Day. Now, I don’t know if I should do it or not. It really made me feel bad. –that’s what made me cry like crazy. I had planned this big thing, and he won’t like it.  I reminds me of Christmas when I finally was able to get him a nice present, and surprise him with something good finally. He told me if I got the present, he would be pissed. It really hurt my feelings. He does a lot of things that hurt my feelings, and I cry. He told me they are mood swings. It’s just because I have been wore down so much emotionally. But I can’t tell him that, or he will get mad at me and leave me. When we have a disagreement, It goes from I cry—tell him my feelings—He gets upset with me about overreacting—Then goes on an hour long rant about how I am wrong, and things I suck at. After a while I just sit there, and soak all the negative things in. At the end of the disagreement, I feel worthless. He always asks what I think about it, I never know what to say, because at that point I am speechless. He once told me how sorry I was. Although, I can’t remember why. I feel so sad, and it’s Valentine’s Day. We should be celebrating our love…instead I am questioning it. IT is hard because he is my life. If I didn’t have him I don’t have anything to live for. I really don’t want to live, but he is the only thing that keeps me going, negative or not. I am still living. I am thankful for that. I guess I deal with all the bad things and mean things he says because it keeps :confused:me living. I’m very scared of the day I fail. I know he will leave me for someone else, because I have never been good enough. I’m too insecure and he doesn’t like it. It makes him feel too responsible for me. I’m sure he wants me to be my own woman…but I just can’t. I have no idea what I should do. I’m so lost.


      Why would you stay with someone who:

      A) Cheated on you
      B) Gets mad at you when you talk about your feelings
      C) Doesn't try to help you with your insecurities and only makes them worse..

      :confused:

      If after seven years together this guy still has the audacity to treat you this way then you need to pick yourself up, dust yourself off and say 'hey, I'm not going to settle for this anymore - because I deserve more, I deserve to be happy'.

      Walk away - it will be hard because he's all you know right now - but you'll soon realise there are plenty more fish the sea and there's one somewhere who will treat you like a princess and make all of those insecurities fly away..

      Good luck.
    • Re: I'm Stuck in a 7 Year Relationship.

      I don't think you should try to continue this relationship any more. Why are you still living with a person that doesn't respect you care for you. You're only making you miserable. So the best thing to do is break this unhealthy relationship and move one. You'll surely find someone loving, caring and who deserves you.