I just need to let this out.

    • I just need to let this out.

      I'd forgotten what depression is. I'd forgotten what it's like to know how worthless I really am. But it comes back eventually. It always comes back.

      I'm so tired. I'm tired of living, tired of feeling this way tired of being someone who knows that her own worth is less than a McDouble at McDonald's.

      I've always wanted friends. I thought I had that, but when I fell back into this dark hole, one that they helped put me in, I realized I was alone. I am alone. I wish I had what other people had, a life full of caring people, people they know they can rely on. Or perhaps that is just an image maintained by society today? Does anyone really have real friends anymore?

      Today was the first time cutting for so long. First time being in a serious depressed state in so long. I thought it was over. I was wrong. It's never over.

      I'm such a coward. I want to die and I've tried so many times yet for some reason, I keep surviving. I keep breathing. Why? Why am I still here? I don't belong here. I need to get away. I don't do anything for this blackened earth. I am merely a waste of space. I've no talents nor skills that would do anyone any good. I am a failure at everything I do and I can only drag other people down. What good is a person like me?

      I don't really feel like typing anymore. I just want to sleep and never wake up.

    • Re: I just need to let this out.

      Oh, boy! I am reading this an hour before midnight (I think). Let me tell you a thing or two.
      Life is sweet, life is great you just have to see it. Being supposedly depressed and feeling depressed ain't gonna help ya. Why are you depressed? Let me guess, you don't know. You also wrote on how you wanna kill yourself, have you thought how your parents will be if you killed yourself/died? And there is a reason why you're still alive, you are useful. You do have a talent. You do have something that contributes. Maybe that skill or talent isn't useful to everyone, but who ever said that you had to please everyone? But it is a talent, and I hate the fact that you say you're depressed and not trying to overcome it. And no, not every friend that you make is false, there are still some honest souls out there! Society can be a huge bull***t, but sometimes it's not. The world is not black or white. It is both. So you better start living things up, get out of bed, stop thinking of bad things about yourself, don't believe in everything your mirror shows you! And stop bitching, you're a teenage girl, not an 80 year old woman who only bickers! OK, OK, right now I bet you're like "what is this girl writing?" and thinking on closing the computer, but wait, you haven't tried your parents or any of the people you trusted. Talk. Trust me, some people care about your well being! Like some of the members of teenhut who are going to start typing to cheer you up, and me who has typed all this. So try, it's hard, but try! Good Luck! :D:clap::zomg::chairdance::rockon:8p=3:thumbsup:
      Hope this cheered you up!! :D!
      [FONT="Century Gothic"]Survival of the fittest[/FONT]:cool:
      [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]

    • Re: I just need to let this out.

      Well seems like you have a lot in your mind which makes you a feel like a worthless piece of shit and im not gonna lie, you might be one. "Blackened". Yeah the world is pretty much fucked up, i dont really have a dynamic life within this braindead generation either. I dont wanna live, yeah right but im not willing to die honestly. Cause breathing should be better than nothingness, even though you suffer. If you want a life just like the others have, then go ahead; get a purpose. Hold onto something or someone and then you'll enjoy the moments you''ll have. Fly around like a lovely butterfly... What a great scenario.

      Also, i didnt write these to motivate you. Nobody cares if you cut yourself every single day anyways; its your choice to be the week one or the strong one.

    • Re: I just need to let this out.

      I remember my self harm. It was all the time, even in public places. My panic disorder really got the best of me.

      I also remember feeling the same way you do. Not wanting to wake up, just wanting to die. But, when people say it gets better, it actually does. You have to believe that.
      I'm sweating like a sinner in a church.