I'm popular but have no good friends

    • I'm popular but have no good friends

      So yesterday was my last day of junior high. Last year I was a cheerleader and was in a not so good group of friends, but I had them. I also joined youth group and got really involved in church last summer, and didn't hangout with anyone from school. At the beginning of this year I had a good friend that was a girl and good friend that was a guy. Everyone had their own group, but we didn't, at least at the beginning of the year. As the year went on I was friends with everyone as always but never hung out with anyone besides church friends. Not till yesterday did I truly realize this but everyone has a group of friends they hangout with, I just don't. None of my good friends are actually in my grade. I truly do not mean to sound conceded, and or self centered but I know everyone and everyone knows me. I just walk around and talk to everyone in every group and don't have one myself at school. It just sorta sucks, maybe I would've but this year my parents split and I lost my house so I kinda shut everyone out besides youth group friends. At school no one knew, I'm known as always being funny, never not smiling. But yesterday people had parties and I wasn't invited or even asked to hangout with anyone. I'm just someone people know and like but don't take the time to get to know. I'm liked but not needed at school. I have a best friend whose two years older and a lot of friends but I'm still lonely at school or other places. Some people may say I'm selfish and lucky for having a good group of friends and just being friends with people at school and I'm grateful for it cause I could have it worse but it kinda sucks. I have everything I need, a new house, clothes, food, friends, but I just feel like I'm gonna miss out on something new that everyone with a group of friends gets to experience. thanks for any advice even if brutal.
    • Re: I'm popular but have no good friends

      It happens with most of the people; that they are quite popular among people but not having a single good friend. It is human psychology that without friends and families we can't survive a single minute; loneliness and being alone both the concepts are really harmful for human attitude. And it is very rare happen that people with much popularity are always feeling alone without any good friends.
    • I think you should go out and try to join in a group of friends! Is there any group of friends you like more or is a little more closer to? Go ahead and join them! If you are always laughing and joking, I'm sure your friends will enjoy your presence. Also, try to get more in touch with that group of friends, or with any other friends you wanna get closer to. Don't just laugh and smile always, try sharing some more personal feelings too, such as things you're sad about or pissed about. If you make the first move to be closer to them, they will feel like you wouldn't mind if they themselves told you some personal things about themselves, and you all can get closer!! :)
    • sam2424 wrote:

      So yesterday was my last day of junior high. Last year I was a cheerleader and was in a not so good group of friends, but I had them. I also joined youth group and got really involved in church last summer, and didn't hangout with anyone from school. At the beginning of this year I had a good friend that was a girl and good friend that was a guy. Everyone had their own group, but we didn't, at least at the beginning of the year. As the year went on I was friends with everyone as always but never hung out with anyone besides church friends. Not till yesterday did I truly realize this but everyone has a group of friends they hangout with, I just don't. None of my good friends are actually in my grade. I truly do not mean to sound conceded, and or self centered but I know everyone and everyone knows me. I just walk around and talk to everyone in every group and don't have one myself at school. It just sorta sucks, maybe I would've but this year my parents split and I lost my house so I kinda shut everyone out besides youth group friends. At school no one knew, I'm known as always being funny, never not smiling. But yesterday people had parties and I wasn't invited or even asked to hangout with anyone. I'm just someone people know and like but don't take the time to get to know. I'm liked but not needed at school. I have a best friend whose two years older and a lot of friends but I'm still lonely at school or other places. Some people may say I'm selfish and lucky for having a good group of friends and just being friends with people at school and I'm grateful for it cause I could have it worse but it kinda sucks. I have everything I need, a new house, clothes, food, friends, but I just feel like I'm gonna miss out on something new that everyone with a group of friends gets to experience. thanks for any advice even if brutal.
      Hello!

      You are socially adroit instead of being socially phobic and this gift and I'll call it a gift will be to advantage next time you go in search for a better group of friends. Many teenagers are socially phobic finding it difficult to make friends, only you are already popular so I am confident you'll easily make friends with the next bunch you get to meet.

      I'm sorry your parents split and you lost the house (I presume you grew up in), but parents do split as they have their own lives to contend with, though this doesn't help their children. Which of the two parents are you close to, incidentally? The one you feel closest to will be the better listener. And you will need a parent even if they are just a listening post because there will be times when you feel down, unsure, unconfident.

      As we go up in school grades, so we meet a different bunch of people. When I was around 15 I changed my social bunch of friends for another. It was easy to in Kalymnos where I was born and raised and it being an island, everyone knew each other. But I was still able to be popular and this kind of rubs off now I am self employed, albeit ill at the moment - so as you go through life, you will make friends and the best are those who first find you. The ones who approach you seem to be the ones more likely to stay good friends. That's what I've found down the years. I'm 25 incidentally.

      Your having been a cheerleader is an advantage; you have been trained as a crowd pleaser. You can continue work on remaining socially skillful, though, and the main key to this is being a good listener. One who listens and doesn't interrupt. Maintaining eye contact. It's amazing what you can pick up from what the other person isn't saying and if you can master that psychological skill, it will deffs be to your advantage.

      Welcome to Teen Hut. I hope you stay and enjoy yourself. :)

      Best,
      Poppi



      Sometimes the best memories people make, are new ones.
    • Hey sam2424!

      First of all I think that you should try to pick one group you like most. It's important that you pick a group were you can picture yourself in the future. When you're together with the group, you have to be active and say a lot. If you're just following the group, without saying anything, it could be awkward. Try to ask if you can join them in the weekend or at parties.

      We hope our answer can help you! :)