Hi! My name is Taylor and I am 16 years old. Currently, I am having trouble identifying what my sexuality is and if the person I like will ever like me back.
I have always considered myself as a heterosexual female until just recently. My freshmen year of high school I met this girl and she told me she was bisexual. I thought nothing of it (as I could care less what her sexual orientation was) until I started questioning my own attractions. I started developing a likeness towards her that was unfamiliar to me. I idolized everything she did and got jealous when she talked about other people whom she hooked up with. I wanted her attention always and when I didn't get it I would pout and ignore her.
I imagined myself holding her hand, kissing her lips and soon became obsessed with the idea of "getting closer". The feelings I had for her intensified and I found myself doing whatever I could to impress her. I tried everything....including lying to make her think that I TOO had hooked up with girls. I realize now how childish and immature I was, but at the time I couldn't help myself. I had never experienced something like this before.
As the year went on, however, I accepted the fact that she didn't like me the same way. I came to the conclusion that I was just a confused, hormonal teenager. That I was and always had been straight. Besides I didn't imagine myself as her girlfriend just as a make out buddy of some sorts. So as hard as it was I moved on..until a couple months later when I met a girl named Kylie.
She is absolutely beautiful. The most beautiful girl I have ever seen. She is smart, mysterious and independent. I made it a point to introduce myself and we started to become friends. Unfortunately, Kylie is really reserved and I talk to much. As I started to like her more I began to trip over my words, look at the ground, blush, sweat-just anything that could possibly go wrong did. I only talked about myself and after a while I got the impression that she thought I was a conceited bitch (which in her defense I was). I thought maybe she liked me though because she was always biting her lip and she invited me to her house for a project. Again, I found myself asking the same questions as before. Did she like me? Is she straight/bisexual/lesbian? Do I even like her?!?!
We remained friends and I eventually got her number. I finally got the balls to tell someone how I felt and texted a long message expressing my feelings. Unfortunately I texted the wrong person, and as you can probably guess I texted Kylie. I was mortified. Luckily she was cool about it, but told me that she had a girlfriend. It was bittersweet. We didn't talk for about a year.
This leads us to my current situation. I see Kylie in the hallways every other day where I sit. We always make eye contact, but I never say hi. I was thinking that I should go over and start a conversation, but I'm not sure she would appreciate that. This is because two months ago I decided to contact her and see how she was. She texted me back and I learned that she was single again. Yay! *mini happy dance* But the problem is that she never makes an effort to approach me or text me first and is always the one to end the conversation. I get the impression that she likes to be chased as her last girlfriend was the one to get things started.
What should I do? I know that she is shy, but should I try to initiate contact and rebuild the relationship? Or should I let her come to me?? Does she even like me and lastly is this fair to her? I am still unsure if I am bisexual or bi curious. I like boys. I have dreams about boys and I can see myself in long lasting relationships with them. But with girls I don't know. I would love to have sexual relations, but I am not sure if I can have a relationship with them. Please help me. I am confused and frustrated.
Note: To be clear I don't see her as only a make-out buddy, but I am unsure if I can be her girlfriend. I really really really like her and I feel that I will never know if I don't try. Thank you for your consideration and any advice you can give!!
I have always considered myself as a heterosexual female until just recently. My freshmen year of high school I met this girl and she told me she was bisexual. I thought nothing of it (as I could care less what her sexual orientation was) until I started questioning my own attractions. I started developing a likeness towards her that was unfamiliar to me. I idolized everything she did and got jealous when she talked about other people whom she hooked up with. I wanted her attention always and when I didn't get it I would pout and ignore her.
I imagined myself holding her hand, kissing her lips and soon became obsessed with the idea of "getting closer". The feelings I had for her intensified and I found myself doing whatever I could to impress her. I tried everything....including lying to make her think that I TOO had hooked up with girls. I realize now how childish and immature I was, but at the time I couldn't help myself. I had never experienced something like this before.
As the year went on, however, I accepted the fact that she didn't like me the same way. I came to the conclusion that I was just a confused, hormonal teenager. That I was and always had been straight. Besides I didn't imagine myself as her girlfriend just as a make out buddy of some sorts. So as hard as it was I moved on..until a couple months later when I met a girl named Kylie.
She is absolutely beautiful. The most beautiful girl I have ever seen. She is smart, mysterious and independent. I made it a point to introduce myself and we started to become friends. Unfortunately, Kylie is really reserved and I talk to much. As I started to like her more I began to trip over my words, look at the ground, blush, sweat-just anything that could possibly go wrong did. I only talked about myself and after a while I got the impression that she thought I was a conceited bitch (which in her defense I was). I thought maybe she liked me though because she was always biting her lip and she invited me to her house for a project. Again, I found myself asking the same questions as before. Did she like me? Is she straight/bisexual/lesbian? Do I even like her?!?!
We remained friends and I eventually got her number. I finally got the balls to tell someone how I felt and texted a long message expressing my feelings. Unfortunately I texted the wrong person, and as you can probably guess I texted Kylie. I was mortified. Luckily she was cool about it, but told me that she had a girlfriend. It was bittersweet. We didn't talk for about a year.
This leads us to my current situation. I see Kylie in the hallways every other day where I sit. We always make eye contact, but I never say hi. I was thinking that I should go over and start a conversation, but I'm not sure she would appreciate that. This is because two months ago I decided to contact her and see how she was. She texted me back and I learned that she was single again. Yay! *mini happy dance* But the problem is that she never makes an effort to approach me or text me first and is always the one to end the conversation. I get the impression that she likes to be chased as her last girlfriend was the one to get things started.
What should I do? I know that she is shy, but should I try to initiate contact and rebuild the relationship? Or should I let her come to me?? Does she even like me and lastly is this fair to her? I am still unsure if I am bisexual or bi curious. I like boys. I have dreams about boys and I can see myself in long lasting relationships with them. But with girls I don't know. I would love to have sexual relations, but I am not sure if I can have a relationship with them. Please help me. I am confused and frustrated.
Note: To be clear I don't see her as only a make-out buddy, but I am unsure if I can be her girlfriend. I really really really like her and I feel that I will never know if I don't try. Thank you for your consideration and any advice you can give!!
