The Love Of My Life, But Everything Went Wrong.. Please help

    • The Love Of My Life, But Everything Went Wrong.. Please help

      Hello, I am Iceboy and I would like someone to help me with a girl i love, but things got messed up really badly..

      It all started when i was in grade 8, when i was going through my friend's phone and i saw a girl's number. Wanting to prank my friend, i decided to steal the number, so i took a picture of the number, just before my friend caught me. unfortunately, the teacher caught us and we both had our phones confiscated for a week. after the week, i was checking my phone, when i stumbled across the number of that girl. I decided to give her a message, just for fun. I did not know her, so i figured it did not matter. I sent her a message saying:
      "hey Jade! long time no chat! How is it going?" She replied, saying that she wasn't Jade, but of course i already knew that. so she introduced herself to me and so did I. Lets call her Kelly. Kelly and i spent a few days chatting and i started to really like her, and when she told me that she would be coming to my school next year I was overjoyed! Sadly, i was dumb and i told her i liked her. She said she did not know me enough to date me, so i got rejected, but we agreed that next year we would get to know each other in person. ^^

      So fast-forward to the next year, i was grade 9 and she was grade 8. She came to my school and i started to hang out with her, and unfortunately, i realised that she was best friends with one of my worst enemies, Alex. Alex was my friend a few years back then we split our paths. Now she hates me, yet i don't know why. So i started to hang out with Kelly, and we talked a lot after school, and we would chat everyday. (I would like to say that i am not very popular in school, i am a straight A student, and most people in my class hate me, but sadly Kelly is not very bright, yet she has a lot of enemies too.)

      So Kelly and I were really close friends, and I enjoyed every second I was with her. I would stay after school to talk and laugh with her, we would play basketball together, she would ask me to help her with computing and such, and i was happy to help, because simply being with her made me the happiest man alive. She was the most amazing person, and I was starting to fall in love with her!

      So after a few weeks, she told me some girls were bullying her and they called her bad names and such, so i decided to see for myself. I stayed after school, but told Kelly to go home. I hung out with the girls that were annoying her and I asked them what they thought of Kelly. The trash-talked her, and me being a smartass, i recorded the whole thing on my phone. :thumbup: Later that day I messaged Kelly and sent her the audio of the recording. She was a bit sad, hearing them trash talk her, but then she thanked me a lot for being such a good friend for her.

      So i became closer and closer to her, and eventually we became close to best friends. She told me all her secrets... Including personal ones. Her dad left her when she was smaller, and i really felt sorry for her then.

      After a month, there was a Walk Event happening in town, and i decided to go. It was an all night event, and it would be very fun. When i got there, i saw Kelly, along with a guy from our school with his girlfriend, and also Alex and her boyfriend. Alex's boyfriend, and the guy at our school, were both friends of mine, so the only person not fitting in with me was Alex. But luckily, Alex was wasted! :P So i walked the event with them, and it was great, because the two couples were lovey dovey together, and me and Kelly were walking alone for most of the night. I made the most of this time with her, because it was kind of a first date, if u think about it. I ran with Kelly, ate with her, chased her, and had a lot of fun with her. I even complimented her and flirted with her a bit. At one point in the night she said she was feeling a bit hot, and i told her she had always been hot in my eyes :saint: . She smiled, a bit shocked, but then laughed with me and I'm sure that made her happy.

      After that night, i kept testing her with flirts, and compliments, and she took them well, always responding thankfully and happily. So i decided to go for it. I messaged her, and confessed my love to her. She made excuses, of how she was in a rough place, and that she couldn't date at the time... I told her i could wait for her, but she said I shouldn't. So after the failed attempt, we went back to being friends, but it wasn't quite the same. Then after 2 weeks, i heard she had a boyfriend!

      I was furious of how she lied to me, so i told my friends she was a bitch, and that i hated her. None of that was true though, i still thought she was the most amazing girl in the world! Eventually word got around, and she messaged me to ask if anything was wrong. I asked why she lied to me, and why she told me she wasn't ready, but now is dating a guy! She said a lot can change in 2 weeks, and that she really liked him. I just accepted the way things were, and i stopped talking to her as much... I saw her one afternoon at school, waiting for her mother to pick her up, and she was talking to her friend. I decided i would talk to her, so i gathered some courage, and after 15 minutes i went over and said hey. she said hey, and before i could say more, her mom came to pick her up! worst timing ever! As she got her bag to leave, she told me "u were too late".
      I saw two meanings in that phrase, as i thought she also meant the bigger picture.

      So i hardly talked to her after that, until my birthday, when i got an unexpected msg from her saying happy birthday! I was so happy, I almost cried. I hadn't talked to her for months, but she remembered my birthday! So i thanked her and we chatted for a while. Eventually i wound up asking her if we are still friends. She told me she was still my friend, but that we should not talk at school anymore, as rumors of us dating were going around. I accepted it, and it ended there. Now, she hangs out with a guy one grade above me, and I haven't chatted to her since, she avoids me, and now I avoid her too, because of how awkward it is when we bump into each other.

      The most I have gotten is a "Hey" from her. I really miss her, she was the most important girl in my life. I really wish i knew how i could fix everything. I love her so much, the Kelly i knew was an amazing person, in both looks, and her personality! I have cried myself to sleep thinking of the fun times we had.....

      Please Help Me, I Need Her Back In My Life...... <3 <3 ;( ;(

      Any advice would be appreciated!!
    • @IceBoy1324 I'm sorry man. But it sounds like she was only seeing you as a close friend. Her sharing of secrets to other discussions were just as a friend. If she was interested in dating you then she would have never made that excuse.

      It is certainly clear that she saw you as a best friend and not more as she got a boyfriend soon. I don't see where you went wrong because you were quick to say you like her. She delayed it saying she wanted to know you more but that wasn't really a rejection. But after knowing you a bit. You should have tried again.

      Maybe she wasn't meant for you. Now my suggestion. Instead of being :( :( Start being strong. If she is dating other men then stop talking to her. Say hi if she comes and talks to you. But don't initiate a conversation with her.

      She asked you to stop talking to her in school; it means now she is not as excited to be around you and the whole rumour thing is hurting her chances with other men. This is your clue. Get away from her. Be strong and think like this. She is not the only girl. If she is so ashamed to talk to you in public then better not talk to her at all.

      Meet other girls. If she asks ahat s wrong then tell her that you still want to take her out on a date. If she rejects again then move away with a bold and strong face and don't respond or bother. Walk away or if this is on phone then you can say cool :) and cut. If its a text don't respond to her reply at all. Ignore it from there.

      You may lose a friend but what kind of friend doesn't want to be seen talking in school?
    • As Kejru said, meet other girls. And there are plenty of 'em. :)

      I think she was seeking advice, but only wanting a platonic friendship and nothing more. This experience, it's all part of growing up, but it will make you stronger if you kick off from the wall in not dwelling on what is now - past. Look to the future now, Hun, and move on.



      Sometimes the best memories people make, are new ones.
    • Thanks to accessdenied and Kerry. I'll try and move on, but I still don't understand it..one second she was all warm and best friendly to me, the next she acts like I doesn't exist.. It really hurts, and I've never been interested in anyone else, I like hot/pretty girls an all, but this kind of love is pretty new. Cuz what me and her had was really special to me. And I kind of feel like she led me on... The only thing is.. Even though she told me not to talk at school, she even messaged me on my birthday and even said that we were still friends. I just don't know what to do, because I still care fr her. I don't want to be mean to her.. By reading my story, can I ask? What kind of girl did she come across as? Nice? Bitch? Kind? Sly? I just want to make sure I'm not blinded by love. But thanks a lot guys. I will think about it..
    • The girl came across as nice, but plainly doesn't want to be involved and the best thing I would do is move on from her. Girls like attention, but some don't realise that the implications of their interest can imply of wanting a friendship to deepen. I know it hurts, but I would forget her and move on.



      Sometimes the best memories people make, are new ones.
    • IceBoy1324 wrote:

      Thanks to accessdenied and Kerry. I'll try and move on, but I still don't understand it..one second she was all warm and best friendly to me, the next she acts like I doesn't exist.. It really hurts, and I've never been interested in anyone else, I like hot/pretty girls an all, but this kind of love is pretty new. Cuz what me and her had was really special to me. And I kind of feel like she led me on... The only thing is.. Even though she told me not to talk at school, she even messaged me on my birthday and even said that we were still friends. I just don't know what to do, because I still care fr her. I don't want to be mean to her.. By reading my story, can I ask? What kind of girl did she come across as? Nice? Bitch? Kind? Sly? I just want to make sure I'm not blinded by love. But thanks a lot guys. I will think about it..
      You will almost never understand a girl truly. The girl herself don't understand herself. It is very natural. There could be many things at play here. The girl maybe "WAS" interested in you or thought there is a chance. Maybe you did something that made her feel that you can be a good friend, but not a boyfriend. It necessarily does not mean what you did was wrong, but maybe the events lead to the girl seeing you as a good friend only. Maybe she found another guy and got attracted quickly and she sidelined you.

      I can tell you what happened with one of my friend. He used to talk to this girl a few years ago. They texted non stop for hours everyday for a few months. Everything was going great and there was a spark. Both were single too. One day my friend asker her out for a coffee and she apparantly did not drink coffee. Wow, humiliating. But things went back to normal. She would remember to wish him for his exams, and guess what nobody else wished except her. So is that something different? Guess what, suddenly one day, he realised that this girl is not texting or talking much anymore. She talks happily when he texts but if it went easily into weeks of her not texting or talking at all. The guy texts again, she talks very nicely like the same old thing. Then again nothing. My friend stops talking after that. Then it's been several years they haven't spoken. The girl who would chat for hours would no longer make any attempts to chat. What happened? God knows haha. My friend told me the story a few months later. I could only guess that he did something which made her realise, its no longer fun to chat or she dropped the idea of dating him, or maybe she made a new boyfriend and never said? Girls are weird at times you know. They do things which you may never understand.

      What is worse, you cannot even ask her directly what's wrong. 99% chance she is going to lie to your face or act like it is all your fault and you should stop bothering her LOL.
    • haha @Mayank I get it. Girls are such strange creatures. I decided to take u ppls advice. @AccessDenied @Kejru
      cuz today was the first day of the fourth term of school, and after a month, I saw her again. But this time was different. I passed by Kelly several times, but I did not say a word. I simply turned and talked to my friends. Even after school, I was waiting for my friend to walk home, and I was sitting on a school bench, and Kelly was about 10m away. She looked over at me a couple of times. And I purposefully turned my head the other way. I think she got the msg haha.

      The thing that made this change is quite interesting. Today she was hanging with one of her friends. A guy. This dude has been her friend for 3 years, and I know he wants more, but he is never gonna get. She told me that when we were still friends. Today I saw him, talking to her.. But when an 18 yo guy came she immediately turned her attention on him. I felt sorry for him, as she clearly has him wrapped around her finger. And he cannot see it.

      So today I realised, if I kept hanging on to her, I'd be no better than that poor dude. So from now on she is dead to me. Lol thankd guys u really opened my eyes!
    • IceBoy1324 wrote:

      Hello, I am Iceboy and I would like someone to help me with a girl i love, but things got messed up really badly..

      It all started when i was in grade 8, when i was going through my friend's phone and i saw a girl's number. Wanting to prank my friend, i decided to steal the number, so i took a picture of the number, just before my friend caught me. unfortunately, the teacher caught us and we both had our phones confiscated for a week. after the week, i was checking my phone, when i stumbled across the number of that girl. I decided to give her a message, just for fun. I did not know her, so i figured it did not matter. I sent her a message saying:
      "hey Jade! long time no chat! How is it going?" She replied, saying that she wasn't Jade, but of course i already knew that. so she introduced herself to me and so did I. Lets call her Kelly. Kelly and i spent a few days chatting and i started to really like her, and when she told me that she would be coming to my school next year I was overjoyed! Sadly, i was dumb and i told her i liked her. She said she did not know me enough to date me, so i got rejected, but we agreed that next year we would get to know each other in person. ^^

      So fast-forward to the next year, i was grade 9 and she was grade 8. She came to my school and i started to hang out with her, and unfortunately, i realised that she was best friends with one of my worst enemies, Alex. Alex was my friend a few years back then we split our paths. Now she hates me, yet i don't know why. So i started to hang out with Kelly, and we talked a lot after school, and we would chat everyday. (I would like to say that i am not very popular in school, i am a straight A student, and most people in my class hate me, but sadly Kelly is not very bright, yet she has a lot of enemies too.)

      So Kelly and I were really close friends, and I enjoyed every second I was with her. I would stay after school to talk and laugh with her, we would play basketball together, she would ask me to help her with computing and such, and i was happy to help, because simply being with her made me the happiest man alive. She was the most amazing person, and I was starting to fall in love with her!

      So after a few weeks, she told me some girls were bullying her and they called her bad names and such, so i decided to see for myself. I stayed after school, but told Kelly to go home. I hung out with the girls that were annoying her and I asked them what they thought of Kelly. The trash-talked her, and me being a smartass, i recorded the whole thing on my phone. :thumbup: Later that day I messaged Kelly and sent her the audio of the recording. She was a bit sad, hearing them trash talk her, but then she thanked me a lot for being such a good friend for her.

      So i became closer and closer to her, and eventually we became close to best friends. She told me all her secrets... Including personal ones. Her dad left her when she was smaller, and i really felt sorry for her then.

      After a month, there was a Walk Event happening in town, and i decided to go. It was an all night event, and it would be very fun. When i got there, i saw Kelly, along with a guy from our school with his girlfriend, and also Alex and her boyfriend. Alex's boyfriend, and the guy at our school, were both friends of mine, so the only person not fitting in with me was Alex. But luckily, Alex was wasted! :P So i walked the event with them, and it was great, because the two couples were lovey dovey together, and me and Kelly were walking alone for most of the night. I made the most of this time with her, because it was kind of a first date, if u think about it. I ran with Kelly, ate with her, chased her, and had a lot of fun with her. I even complimented her and flirted with her a bit. At one point in the night she said she was feeling a bit hot, and i told her she had always been hot in my eyes :saint: . She smiled, a bit shocked, but then laughed with me and I'm sure that made her happy.

      After that night, i kept testing her with flirts, and compliments, and she took them well, always responding thankfully and happily. So i decided to go for it. I messaged her, and confessed my love to her. She made excuses, of how she was in a rough place, and that she couldn't date at the time... I told her i could wait for her, but she said I shouldn't. So after the failed attempt, we went back to being friends, but it wasn't quite the same. Then after 2 weeks, i heard she had a boyfriend!

      I was furious of how she lied to me, so i told my friends she was a bitch, and that i hated her. None of that was true though, i still thought she was the most amazing girl in the world! Eventually word got around, and she messaged me to ask if anything was wrong. I asked why she lied to me, and why she told me she wasn't ready, but now is dating a guy! She said a lot can change in 2 weeks, and that she really liked him. I just accepted the way things were, and i stopped talking to her as much... I saw her one afternoon at school, waiting for her mother to pick her up, and she was talking to her friend. I decided i would talk to her, so i gathered some courage, and after 15 minutes i went over and said hey. she said hey, and before i could say more, her mom came to pick her up! worst timing ever! As she got her bag to leave, she told me "u were too late".
      I saw two meanings in that phrase, as i thought she also meant the bigger picture.

      So i hardly talked to her after that, until my birthday, when i got an unexpected msg from her saying happy birthday! I was so happy, I almost cried. I hadn't talked to her for months, but she remembered my birthday! So i thanked her and we chatted for a while. Eventually i wound up asking her if we are still friends. She told me she was still my friend, but that we should not talk at school anymore, as rumors of us dating were going around. I accepted it, and it ended there. Now, she hangs out with a guy one grade above me, and I haven't chatted to her since, she avoids me, and now I avoid her too, because of how awkward it is when we bump into each other.

      The most I have gotten is a "Hey" from her. I really miss her, she was the most important girl in my life. I really wish i knew how i could fix everything. I love her so much, the Kelly i knew was an amazing person, in both looks, and her personality! I have cried myself to sleep thinking of the fun times we had.....

      Please Help Me, I Need Her Back In My Life...... <3 <3 ;( ;(

      Any advice would be appreciated!!
      okay man. what i am about to say now comes from a personal experience that happend in more or less the same way as yours.

      First of all, i know exactly how you feel man. I know it hurts and i am not going to lie to you and tell you that it will all be over tomorrow because the truth is, it wont. If you really loved "kelly" then she will always have a place in your heart, even when you are 70 and have 3 children of your own and 12 grandchildern. Your heart will always skip a beat when you think, talk about or even see her. That is just the way the first true love is. It leaves an impression on us that will never be forgotten.

      Now about your problem, i could start preaching you on how things will work out and how you will be able to get back tonight but i will stay with what i know: What you went through and are going through is truely a bitch. I have been there so i know what it feels like. The best you can do is look forwards and fuck the past. I know it is easier said then done but eventually you will realize that there is no point crying over her. If things are ment to be, you guys will someway or other find your way back together. I dont really believe in fait and all that sutff but love is an exception. If things are ment to be then you guys will end up together again. If you ever watched "how i meet your mother" you will understand what i ment. (Spoiler alert coming!). Lets say you are Ted and Kelly is Robin. Ted told Robin on their first date that he loved her. Then to make a long story short, they dated on and off. Many years later Ted found a wife he really loved and had two kids with her. After she died, he was alone for many years before he finally went back to Robin and started going out for real with her. What i am trying to say is that even if it doesnt look like it now, if things are ment to be between you and kelly, you will find your way together again, but what you can not do is try to interfear with fate because then you will permanently close the only door you have left.

      I can personally guarentie you that she still things of you once and a while again.

      The best advice i can give you from man to man is try not to think about her. Delete everything off your phone, computer,....that reminds you of her and eventually you will find a new kelly and you will, (almost completely) forget kelly. Keep your head up mate and dont let these things get you down!