i have no real friends

    • i have no real friends

      Hey guys,

      I have a lot of friendship problems. I think that I have very few real friends who really appreciate my presence.

      Firstly, in my school, everyone has a few different groups of friends, such as in our own classes (we all stay in the same classes whole year round even with different subjects), in our extra-curricular activities, which is an integral part of our school life and can deem our social status.

      I used to be rather popular in my class, if being popular meant that most of the girls in my class were my friends and generally liked me. Then I fell out of this friendship with my “best friend” because there were stuff about each other we didn't like, I guess, and we just stopped hanging out together. We were never that close in the first place. After this, I started hanging out with this other clique in class I was quite close with. However, this clique was not really popular in class, and I know that it sounds really, really bad, but I feel like I should say it this way so you guys can understand better, the clique was more on the "losers" side, although individually I guess most people were okay with them. I thought it would be okay, and that i didn't mind hanging out with them, but as time went by I found myself feeling more and more embarrassed to be in the same clique permanently as them. I was not the "popular" girl in my school, but I think I was more on the popular side because i knew quite a lot of people in our level and i was on the floorball team in school, where being i think being in a sport made us more on the popular side. Furthermore, as time went by i felt more and more unappreciated in my clique. I didn't think they really appreciated my presence, and it feels like being there or not made only a little difference to them, although i'm not sure if this is true. They also always left me out in conversations, which i really hate. I just didn't feel appreciated there, and this makes me feel really sad.

      I feel like changing my clique, but there's no one else to turn to. There's this other clique in my class which i am quite close to, but it would be difficult to blend in with them, because they were all pretty tight-knit. I used to be quite close to them too, and most of them were my good friends, but now it feels like its changed. Maybe it's because of this one girl in that clique. Let's call her Hannah. She used to like me and we were quite close, and she's sort of the popular one in her clique, who kind of calls the shots and influences some of the girls, but now, I feel like she doesn't really like me anymore. Maybe it's because when i was in the sorta "unpopular" clique, i did not act so friendly towards them anymore because i felt like i was inferior to them, because Hannah's clique was more popular in my class. Anyways, now, i want to join in their clique, but it seems like its too late, because our school is going to be over soon, in two weeks’ time and we will be changing classes next January, where i will leave all this behind. Also, im afraid of what people will think of me, because i keep moving from clique to clique. And what if i am not able to join in this clique? Who will I go out with during the holidays, which are arriving soon? It's harder for me to join this clique now because of my lost friendship with two of the girls, one of them including Hannah. Also, another girl who calls the shots too, let's call her Sabrina, used to dislike two of the girls in my present clique. She's popular in my school. I think the reason why my classmates think of my present clique as unpopular is because of her, but maybe people don't think they're unpopular so much anymore, although im not really sure. In the past, when i was with my prev “best friend’, we used to hang out together with the more popular clique (Hannah’s ), like during recesses and lunches. It was easier to join in this clique because of her, since I would not be like an extra, if i had Natalie with me. Furthermore, she also liked joining them.

      So, now, i feel really unhappy in my clique. I can't stop feeling embarrassed to be with them, even though I know that I shouldn't be like this. I have some really popular friends because they're in floorball too, and i'm worried of what they will think of me, especially since my relationship with them is not good. One of them also knows a girl who is in my present clique, the one who Sabrina disliked, personally and i think she doesn't really like her too, or else she knows that she's unpopular in my class. I don't know what to do anymore and I can't help feeling uncomfortable and embarrassed because the guys in my class, some of them who i have or had crushes on, can see that i am in the unpopular clique, and even more, that i am not very popular in that clique, always being left out. I really hate feeling ignored or left out and that happens many times in my present clique. I guess that is one of the biggest problems why i feel so unhappy and sad in my clique. So, what should i do?
    • I think you should be around people you like or want to be. The group being unpopular is not a reason to leave them. If you are good enough then you can make the group popular. But if you are unhappy then you be where you are happy. Choose friends who make you feel comfortable. Leave them. Don't move in groups based on popularity or you may never have people who truly appreciate you. Make good friends even if they are a few. Don't compare with others. Make new friends in your new class. Choose wisely and then don't change groups or ppl may not trust you.
    • I'm convinced, that you sholdn't have a life based on popularity, so try to ignore that and look into yourself. Do you eally like theese people? Have you something in common whit them? Just because they aren't totally popular, dosen't mean they can't be nice to hang out with. Two weeks can be long time to be depressed in, so try going out with them. It could be in a café or diner, and then find out how good friends they really are.