family problem

    • family problem

      I have two brothers, younger 12 years old and older 21 years old.I have 17. I love them both equally and I know that they love each other, but they always fight. younger is very cheeky and spoiled and always cost the problem, and older try
      to be a fatherly figure in his life (dad left us when I was about 8 years old) .TBH my mom never had authority over us, especially over little brother. man, I even more listening my big brother than her, sometimes.
      so this weekend she went to take care of our grandma in other city, she does not feel good, and left us in older brother charge

      as soon as she left kid began to cause problems. He demanded that Saturday night is going to a party at a friend's, but older brother isnt allowed that. but when we all went to bed he sneaked out, took brother's car (he know to drive) and left. he didn't even got to his friends house and police stopped him asking him for his documents. when they called us older brother was livid with anger. Of course as soon as we got home a quarrel broke out,and at the end older brother even wanted to spank the kid, for the first time. I somehow stepped between them and stopped him. older brother was enraged at me because I am defending him. and then went to his room and threatened that the next time he will really get a good spanking. This has so far been the biggest fight, kid go too far this time really and I don't know did I acted well, because I stopped my big brother. maybe he is right, maybe a little spanking can be only thing that would work, and would stopped my little brother to acting like that again. he could have a car crash ! ;(
      whether,the next time to let my older brother to punish him as he wants?

      sorry for long post.

    • Welcome to Teen Hut :)

      You have to take control where your mother cannot. Someone has to, and it seems the responsibility falls on you since your oldest brother doesn't take the initiative. I suggest you first talk to your older brother about suitable punishment for your younger. This could be your confiscating one of his favourite things, and keeping him at home when he wants to go out. This is called 'grounding', what parents sometimes have to do.

      I have a daughte. Though most of the time she is good, occasionally she needs grounding because she can be rude and, I won't be sworn at. After all, my own mother disciplined me when I got out of control, and so in turn I have to duscipline my daughter. The same for you. You must take control, or your lives will be a misery.

      Editing to add...

      I own an engineering company and last year fired a guy who was proved to be a bullying in the workplace. One of my staff said the guy's parents spoilt him as a child, so he became a bully all because they never disciplined him. Your bratty younger brother being 12 is just the age where disciplining has to take effect. Not to, and he will grow up trampling everyone's feelings making their lives a misery. Down the decades according to a business psychiologist I know, this has been proven. So take time out to deal with the little runt. Strike while the iron is hot.



      Sometimes the best memories people make, are new ones.

      The post was edited 1 time, last by AccessDenied ().

    • yeah, i know, but he was grounded many times, from our mother and big brother, but he continued to be rude and disrespect.We love him very much but sometimes he could be such a brat .
      he wanted to go to a party on saturday, but he was already grounded for a week a couple day before, and that is one of the reasons why we didn't allowed him to go...

    • What a little brat . I mean , 12 years old , and he's behaving like he's some 20+ yrs old revolutionary . Few spanks would work good , and also punishment like taking his phone , forbid him using computer and watching TV . And you'll see some positive progress . It's democracy , but parents should have the control over their children . If you just let them do whatever they want , and fulfill their every wish , then you'll have moron and jerk not child . My parents never spanked me or my twin brother , they just didn't have reason , but my brother and I know how to behave . If I would do such thing like your younger brother did , dad would break my bones . You just let that little guy too much , and it's possible to fix that . :)

    • Then you must persist whatever storm you go through.

      Remember, "I am not afraid of storms for I am learning how to sail my ship."
      - Louisa May Alcott

      ETA @martinBoy98
      There are laws in Europe that forbit 'excessive force' to smacking a child Ref: FindLawUK , but I've never needed to smack my daughter; I wouldn't anyway. That said, some kids deserve a smack and I've seen an overly-stressed mother deal out a smack to a really bratty kid of her's in a supermarket carpark. Also when shopping in a mall, told a bratty girl to "shut up and do as your mother tells you!" which shocked the girl so much she went beetroot and apologised. Her mother beamed. :D



      Sometimes the best memories people make, are new ones.

      The post was edited 1 time, last by AccessDenied ().

    • today he caught in stealing, and I really don't know what's next. fortunately the seller knows the mother so that he did not call the police. she was only grounded him, confiscated his phone, games and banned a computer, but I know that it will last less than a week and that he will manage to convince her to change his mind. she told me that she really can not spank him, even though she knows that he deserve it. when my older brother was younger it was always my dad's job before he left, but she just can't do it. I told her how my big brother was angry two days ago and in order to beat him if I hadn't stood between them but she said next time to step aside and let him do whatever he thinks. brother is still at work but must at least come in for an hour, then I really dont know what will be ...

    • elens wrote:

      today he caught in stealing, and I really don't know what's next. fortunately the seller knows the mother so that he did not call the police. she was only grounded him, confiscated his phone, games and banned a computer, but I know that it will last less than a week and that he will manage to convince her to change his mind. she told me that she really can not spank him, even though she knows that he deserve it. when my older brother was younger it was always my dad's job before he left, but she just can't do it. I told her how my big brother was angry two days ago and in order to beat him if I hadn't stood between them but she said next time to step aside and let him do whatever he thinks. brother is still at work but must at least come in for an hour, then I really dont know what will be ...
      Why don't you try to find him part-time job or some sport to play actively . He's entering in puberty , and year after year he'll have more energy . It's better to find him something where he can spend his energy , if you let him , he'll be worse .

    • I have observed a similar problem. My housekeeper has a son. He is the most annoying little brat ever. I really don't like toddlers so this might be a bit bias but honestly, this child is a pain in the butt. His mother (my housekeeper) really suffers with him. Sometimes she was to bring him with to work (my house) and he is so unruly. Even when my mum comes, he just acts like he wants to.He has no regard for other people's property, regard for authority and it is just saddening. He jumps on the couches, plays with the TV, puts up the radio's volume when I turn it down. He just does what he wants and when he gets punished, he cries hysterically. His poor mum falls for him every time. She tells him to stop, threatens him and then doesn't pull through because "he's sorry." He doesn't respect her or her wishes. It is such a vicious cycle.

      Sorry for the long story but it just seemed fitting. Your brother needs a reality check. We all have conflicting views on corporal punishment but I truly believe it works. A good beating will sit his bratty self straight. It shouldn't be extreme though. Let your older brother do that and afterwards talk to your little brother about his action and the consequences. Discuss repercussions with your older brother and mother. Finally lay them out for him so that he knows what to expect next time he does something stupid. He's just in a bit of a rebellious phase. He's hormonal, confused and is acting out. Just let your older brother guide him through it.

      Hope this help and sorry that it's so long. It would be shorter but ain't nobody got time to trim this thing :) :) :)

      Good Luck! :D
      Dreaming is Believing <3

    • CallMeSmally wrote:

      I have observed a similar problem. My housekeeper has a son. He is the most annoying little brat ever. I really don't like toddlers so this might be a bit bias but honestly, this child is a pain in the butt. His mother (my housekeeper) really suffers with him. Sometimes she was to bring him with to work (my house) and he is so unruly. Even when my mum comes, he just acts like he wants to.He has no regard for other people's property, regard for authority and it is just saddening. He jumps on the couches, plays with the TV, puts up the radio's volume when I turn it down. He just does what he wants and when he gets punished, he cries hysterically. His poor mum falls for him every time. She tells him to stop, threatens him and then doesn't pull through because "he's sorry." He doesn't respect her or her wishes. It is such a vicious cycle.

      Sorry for the long story but it just seemed fitting. Your brother needs a reality check. We all have conflicting views on corporal punishment but I truly believe it works. A good beating will sit his bratty self straight. It shouldn't be extreme though. Let your older brother do that and afterwards talk to your little brother about his action and the consequences. Discuss repercussions with your older brother and mother. Finally lay them out for him so that he knows what to expect next time he does something stupid. He's just in a bit of a rebellious phase. He's hormonal, confused and is acting out. Just let your older brother guide him through it.

      Hope this help and sorry that it's so long. It would be shorter but ain't nobody got time to trim this thing :) :) :)

      Good Luck! :D
      lol

      WTF you expect from a toddler for God's sake . Until yesterday he was baby , come on man . You expect some "like a sir toddler" to analysis you political and military-state security situation ? xD Or to apologize you ? You , me , everyone was the same when toddler . They're not aware of seriousness of the World around them , they think we live forever , life is a game with load again option , and that everyone is good , and most of them still piss in pants and doesn't know to communicate . Everyone grows up , he will also one day ...

      This guy is different , he's 12 fuckin' years old and behaves like Che Guevara from younger days . :D

      The post was edited 1 time, last by martinBoy98 ().

    • well, he got it last night. when my big bro came from work yesterday he was so pissed on him. mom was talking with him for a while and then he went in little brother's room. my bedroom is next to his so I heard all his punishment and lecture. it was heartbreaking and i almost cried but I knew that he deserved it. when spanking stopped, i went to see how is the kid,( I assumed that older brother already left). But there, in his room I find him huddled in big brother's lap, crying his eyes out, and brother was hugging him and whispering something in his ear. and in that moment i knew that he is in good hands...I only hope that he learned his lesson...

    • elens wrote:

      well, he got it last night. when my big bro came from work yesterday he was so pissed on him. mom was talking with him for a while and then he went in little brother's room. my bedroom is next to his so I heard all his punishment and lecture. it was heartbreaking and i almost cried but I knew that he deserved it. when spanking stopped, i went to see how is the kid,( I assumed that older brother already left). But there, in his room I find him huddled in big brother's lap, crying his eyes out, and brother was hugging him and whispering something in his ear. and in that moment i knew that he is in good hands...I only hope that he learned his lesson...
      Punishment and huddling in lap , that doesn't go in same moment . If you continue seeing him like little kid , he will evenutally just continue doing what he does the best - being a brat . Behave towards him like adult man , not little kid or baby brother ...

    • yes but he IS a kid still, not an adult. and I think kids need firm hand, but a lot of love too. he got punished, he is grounded for a month,too,and now he know what to expect next time but he know that nobody hate him because he screwed up, that he is still loved and that we will always be there for him even if we punish him.
      I dont know, maybe Im wrong but that is what I think.


      And what would you do?

    • elens wrote:

      yes but he IS a kid still, not an adult. and I think kids need firm hand, but a lot of love too. he got punished, he is grounded for a month,too,and now he know what to expect next time but he know that nobody hate him because he screwed up, that he is still loved and that we will always be there for him even if we punish him.
      I dont know, maybe Im wrong but that is what I think.


      And what would you do?
      What I would do is take him out for the day, somewhere he'll enjoy and over some ice cream you talk to him. Being away from the house he should be more receptive, and your demonstrating a little love could go a long way. Listen to him first, then ask him to be quiet and not interrupt as you explain the things he needs to know.



      Sometimes the best memories people make, are new ones.

    • elens wrote:

      yes but he IS a kid still, not an adult. and I think kids need firm hand, but a lot of love too. he got punished, he is grounded for a month,too,and now he know what to expect next time but he know that nobody hate him because he screwed up, that he is still loved and that we will always be there for him even if we punish him.
      I dont know, maybe Im wrong but that is what I think.


      And what would you do?
      If so , then continue treating him as baby and kid after all happened , and don't be surprised if DEA knock on your door one day in next few years ... Grounding him month or so won't help at all , you must realize that he entered in puberty and it's not without reason when some cultures consider that puberty is start of manhood , and you still consider him a kid . (?!) Good luck to you and your family with him . None should hate him , but none should take it easy what he did , he must be aware of negative consequences that are product of his behaving and actions .

    • martinBoy98 wrote:

      If so , then continue treating him as baby and kid after all happened , and don't be surprised if DEA knock on your door one day in next few years ... Grounding him month or so won't help at all , you must realize that he entered in puberty and it's not without reason when some cultures consider that puberty is start of manhood , and you still consider him a kid . (?!) Good luck to you and your family with him . None should hate him , but none should take it easy what he did , he must be aware of negative consequences that are product of his behaving and actions .
      so what would you do? beat him and then leave him in room by himself, ignore him for a month?...bro talk to him after punishment, in a nice way, he explained some things to him and also gave a warning what will happen next time...