Mood Swings

    • Hey,
      I am Dominic, 18 from Germany. It is 1.15am in the morning, I would have to get up 4 1/2h.
      The mixed feelings are keeping me awake. I went through my chat history of my exgirlfriend. We are not together since more than a year now. I can't believe that time ran so fast. I read all the messages... it was more arguing than anything else. At the beginning it what awesome, but it changed so fast. I realized so many things I have done wrong. I apologized so many times to her, but never changed my behavior to her. Now I feel so guilty. Again. We agreed not talking, because we would just argue. I am too selfish. But I can't stand the presse. I feel so guilty in charge but I also feel I can't apologize. It would not be enough. I had so many chances doing things right again, but I never took them. And now I want to so bad. On the other hand I know I won't succeed. I am what I am. I feel like I have no feelings. It is everything so mixed up. What I wish most is to change the past. Never getting to know her. To protect her from me and from the things I did to her. I love her tho, but I never treated her right. Our personalities don't find, even though I know we would still argue I want be with her and not. Finally not. She already has her 2ed bf now since we broke up. Makes me wonder. Did she love me? She did. But why could she release me so fast? Because I added her all the pain. Since the brake up I had a really really bad time, then it went better, but once again it came all up and got worse. Then better. And now I am here again. It is not that rough anymore as it was right after the break up. But it is so hurting. I've had suicide thoughts, tried, but finally I didn't ever want to. I don't know what to do. I have nothing. Yes I have my few friends, barely talk to my best friend since he is working and busy with his gf. And also I will move away. Away from my friends. It is hard for me to make new friends. I am different. I am shy. I don't drink for fun, I don't go to parties, I don't smoke, i don't think it is funny when people vomit due alcohol, I dress differently, I have a simple haircut and I am not the most beautiful one. Even harder for me, getting a new gf. To find the right one is so hard. My exgf? I would want to try it with her and not. IN fact she was the best ever happened to me in life so far. She wasn't like the others. Most girl today are .... I think I don't have to mention this. All I want is a girl who is mature. understanding, caring. But on the other hand I am too scared to have a relationship. Anyway I wont be in one. I am too less on the streets. We once had a nice Bar where I could play pool with a friend, but it went out of business. I would go to a party, but not in order to get drunk.... I need to socialize more. But alone? Impossible. I feel so empty, don't know what to do. My minds are scrabbled. I wish time would go fast. I hate my teenage life. I wanna be 30. Having a job, living where I always wanted to live. But now? I am still 18. Next year I will study. I though about going to a psychologist. I am not sure about it. I feel like this right now, and tomorrow I will think I was stupid writing this. I feel so different then. So ... normal. So I won't need a doctor anymore. My sad moments are phases. Gotten less, but they happened. Will they happen in future? My current phase is not that bad. Last month I had a worse one. I wish I can forget this all. Just simply forget. I never more want those empty feelings. But they come up. What if I go to a doctor, but nothing is wrong with me at the moment? But when I don't go then maybe I will have my depressed nights again. I don't know. I am sorry if this all confuses you. I am confused by myself. But I just need to write down my minds somewhere. :( I feel like there is so much iin my head right now, but I can't think of anything.

      Siri wrote:

      If you are thinking about suicide, you may want to speak with someone at a suicide prevention center.
    • Hello.

      Okay, first of all you cannot dwell in the past.
      I used to have a girlfriend too who claimed to 'love me'
      What happened 2 days after we broke up? She got with another man while she had told me before that not to talk to any girls for at least 2-3 weeks just because its 'disrespectful' to her. These things happen.
      If your ex has moved on, then you need to move on as well. Dwelling in the past is NEVER the answer.

      Instead of 'hating' teenage life you should take everything out of it. Meet new people, meet new girls, give people chance. Over half of girls take personality over looks anyway so you have no issue, and you are certainly not ugly either.

      Stop thinking too much ahead, i do that myself and in result i'm constantly full of anxiety and even depression. It is never the answer either.

      You are shy, so am i, so is many else, you need to stop the self-pity and challenge yourself, as cliche as it sounds, try to get out of your comfort zone. If you feel bad then send me a message and i'll try to give you tips the best i can.

      Sincerely, Dilemma123.
    • Hello Dominic, welcome to Teen Hut. :)

      We are from time to time, beseiged with memories we would rather not have, but because I ache, woke after an hour of going to bed, restless and needing a nice mug of tea. And here I am.

      Been reading your story and it seems to me that your dwelling on the past means you are trapped between what was a great relationship that went bad, and not helping is you are over-thinking late into the night wanting to return to her. Your girlfriend did probably love you during the time you dated, but had to move on. The problem being, is you can't.

      I think it would help if you could ask your parent, the one you are closest to, to find a professional to talk things over with. I'm not thinking so much a licenced general doctor, but a therapist who could give you a set of instructions to work on so as rid your feelings of helplessness. And there are some excellent licenced professionals available who work through your feelings of loss and abandonment, these people are so good in developing a professional relationship of trust, a willing ear to listen and their wonderful ability to help you out of the rut you are in.

      Already I am getting sleepy again and need to return to bed, but would also recommend you installing this verg good free software that dims your computer screen down to prevent its blue light it emits that is keeping you awake. f.lux .You can tune it to your personal like. It works in conjunction with your country's sunset and sunrise, and this really works because I no longer stay up too late these days. And us being able to sleep easier means less fretting as our troubled minds wander off.

      I saw a counsellor/therapist over the loss of my ward, a young boy. The counsellor helped enormously. With their help and professionalism, their working knowledge that good therapists have, I overcame the terrible feelings of remorse and of guilt and of abandonment.

      I hope you will get professional help like I did. I wish you well and look forward to hearing if you were successful. In the meantime, stay off relationships until you are fully over your girlfriend's split.

      All the best,

      Poppi :)



      Sometimes the best memories people make, are new ones.
    • @Dilemma123 and Poppi are right, you're dwelling on the past.
      This is my wisdom to you Dom.
      People tend to dwell more on negative things than on good things. So the mind then becomes obsessed with negative things, with judgments, guilt and anxiety produced by thoughts about the future and so on. concentrate the mind on the present moment. I'm not a good example because i dwell a lot on "what could of happened" with a certain person i loved and lost. This ultimately builds failure Dominic, BUT you can ALSO build on failure. You use it as a stepping stone. Close the door on the past. You don't try to forget the mistakes, but you don't dwell on it. You don't let it have any of your energy, or any of your time, or any of your space.
      We have a few things in common, i too have a lot of trouble making friends, not because i am different but because of past wrongs i have committed. I used to think that i was a friend magnet, but my effortlessness in the matter was the true sign of me not being friend worthy. I have since adjusted my expectations and my approach from I-deserve-good-friends to I-will-earn-good-friends.
      Also believe me when i say this, you do not need a girlfriend, you need a "you"friend, although it is a solitary affair, it removes the unwanted effects of bad relationships.
      Being sucked into the misleading world of teens, I spent a lot of time observing relationships that didn’t really look like work. They resembled quirky yet deep companionship, and while I did have some close friends throughout this phase of incessant curiosity, I kept myself waiting for more, expecting something deeper, more fulfilling and completely effortless. Instead, real life happened. And shit got lonely. but i realized Isolation is a great method of understanding yourself.
      Every guy has a moment in his life where he hates himself, it's up to you to soldier on, power through this block. You should live your life to the fullest, you'll no doubt make new friends, meet new girls, you seem like an understanding guy, you're handsome, you'll no doubt find someone. Just remember that you don't NEED someone. Just focus on you ok? And with this boost of confidence i'm trying to give you, you'll no doubt feel better about yourself. ^^ ^^ ^^

      Life is thickly sown with thorns, and I know no other remedy than to pass quickly through them. The longer we dwell on our misfortunes, the greater is their power to harm us. It's up to us to decide whether to stay in the thick of it or, go through.

      This online community is a great medium for expelling issues, if you have any other problems you wish to absolve, feel free to consult us, we will help you.
      ;) ;) ;) :P :P :P
      6/5/16 - The date i became permanently in love :lovey:
    • Thank you all for taking your time and taking care of my problems. I really liked your responds a lot and I am glad people like you guys exist.
      I know that I am dwelling the past ... but it's more like the other way round; the past gets me again. It is hard for me to get out here finding friends because i am just living in a small village. Most of the time I am at home. In my room. Thats it. The only hobby I got is the fire department. Next year I will move to a big city though. I will not see my current friends almost not at all then. So I hope i can find new there. I mostly can't integrate into a group. Thats the problem. I don't know any topics to talk about, because I haven't experienced anything like the others did. I just wish to get a person on my side again, wich is not that easy, because I don't like the avarage girls here. But I am sure moving to the city, attending a college, seeing new people will be a new chance. Also a chance to proof myself that I can handle it.
      Thank you again guys for the nice words you left me here! i enjoyed reading them!

      Siri wrote:

      If you are thinking about suicide, you may want to speak with someone at a suicide prevention center.
    • USAfirefighter wrote:

      Thank you all for taking your time and taking care of my problems. I really liked your responds a lot and I am glad people like you guys exist.
      I know that I am dwelling the past ... but it's more like the other way round; the past gets me again. It is hard for me to get out here finding friends because i am just living in a small village. Most of the time I am at home. In my room. Thats it. The only hobby I got is the fire department. Next year I will move to a big city though. I will not see my current friends almost not at all then. So I hope i can find new there. I mostly can't integrate into a group. Thats the problem. I don't know any topics to talk about, because I haven't experienced anything like the others did. I just wish to get a person on my side again, wich is not that easy, because I don't like the avarage girls here. But I am sure moving to the city, attending a college, seeing new people will be a new chance. Also a chance to proof myself that I can handle it.
      Thank you again guys for the nice words you left me here! i enjoyed reading them!
      I see your hobbies are the Fire Department, Fire Protection. I wonder if the Fire Department of which you may be affilitiated has a counselling officer? If it does, you could ask for an appointment to talk to them.



      Sometimes the best memories people make, are new ones.
    • AccessDenied wrote:

      USAfirefighter wrote:

      Thank you all for taking your time and taking care of my problems. I really liked your responds a lot and I am glad people like you guys exist.
      I know that I am dwelling the past ... but it's more like the other way round; the past gets me again. It is hard for me to get out here finding friends because i am just living in a small village. Most of the time I am at home. In my room. Thats it. The only hobby I got is the fire department. Next year I will move to a big city though. I will not see my current friends almost not at all then. So I hope i can find new there. I mostly can't integrate into a group. Thats the problem. I don't know any topics to talk about, because I haven't experienced anything like the others did. I just wish to get a person on my side again, wich is not that easy, because I don't like the avarage girls here. But I am sure moving to the city, attending a college, seeing new people will be a new chance. Also a chance to proof myself that I can handle it.
      Thank you again guys for the nice words you left me here! i enjoyed reading them!
      I see your hobbies are the Fire Department, Fire Protection. I wonder if the Fire Department of which you may be affilitiated has a counselling officer? If it does, you could ask for an appointment to talk to them.
      well we do kinda have one but he is a reverend only and im a strict atheist soooo :/

      Siri wrote:

      If you are thinking about suicide, you may want to speak with someone at a suicide prevention center.