This is the first time I've ever posted on a forum so hopefully this will work
I have a friend (a girl, 18, we'll call her Susan) who started dating my best friend (a guy, 17, we'll call him Mike) around about a month ago. Both of these people are wonderful people to me, but that is just my perspective, moving on. Susan has been with a number of guys before; I've known her for quite a while, although this is my best friend's first proper girlfriend. Mike was really happy because Susan was the first girl to properly show interest in him. Naturally, Mike has been getting quite nervous and scared lately because he doesn't want to lose her, obviously. But in the last week, Mike has been really struggling to deal with her hanging out with other guys. For instance, one of Mike's friends (we'll call him Tom), who is an ex of Susan, was hanging out with her and they got pretty drunk together, although nothing came of it because Susan and Tom are just great friends. However, Mike freaked out on her and eventually said he "didn't trust her" with other guys, and now they are on a break, and not the first, because Susan wants some degree of freedom, as anyone would.
Moving back to Susan here as the story is more about her. Susan has often been in rather catastrophic relationships. Her previous two boyfriends, especially the last one, were rather abusive to her, both emotionally and physically. However, today Susan told me that she thinks the underlying problem is herself. She truly believes that she "brings out the worst in people", which is why Susan and Mike have already been on a break twice, according to her. I'll admit, Mike and myself have even been fighting as well, and we never used to, it is almost as if he has changed as a person because of all this drama. I told Susan a couple weeks ago how I felt about Mike's recent behaviour and how he has changed but she didn't see it, until today, ultimately agreeing with my perspective that he has changed. Now she thinks that she brings out the worst in people because all of her relationships are coated with a thick layer of trouble, but I don't know how to express to her that she doesn't do such a thing because I know she doesn't. I also don't know what to do about Mike as well because I don't want him to be affected by any of this. I also don't want to encourage they break up entirely, but they are constantly fighting now and it's really affecting my friendships with both Mike and Susan. I also don't want to sound like an asshole, although I know that them breaking up will stop all this drama and not make Susan question her personality.
Hopefully other people will see this and we could get a discussion going. I realise that this is also my first forum post as well so if you have any tips as to how I could improve this for future reference that would be fantastic!
Thanks,
BellSwingsBothWays
I have a friend (a girl, 18, we'll call her Susan) who started dating my best friend (a guy, 17, we'll call him Mike) around about a month ago. Both of these people are wonderful people to me, but that is just my perspective, moving on. Susan has been with a number of guys before; I've known her for quite a while, although this is my best friend's first proper girlfriend. Mike was really happy because Susan was the first girl to properly show interest in him. Naturally, Mike has been getting quite nervous and scared lately because he doesn't want to lose her, obviously. But in the last week, Mike has been really struggling to deal with her hanging out with other guys. For instance, one of Mike's friends (we'll call him Tom), who is an ex of Susan, was hanging out with her and they got pretty drunk together, although nothing came of it because Susan and Tom are just great friends. However, Mike freaked out on her and eventually said he "didn't trust her" with other guys, and now they are on a break, and not the first, because Susan wants some degree of freedom, as anyone would.
Moving back to Susan here as the story is more about her. Susan has often been in rather catastrophic relationships. Her previous two boyfriends, especially the last one, were rather abusive to her, both emotionally and physically. However, today Susan told me that she thinks the underlying problem is herself. She truly believes that she "brings out the worst in people", which is why Susan and Mike have already been on a break twice, according to her. I'll admit, Mike and myself have even been fighting as well, and we never used to, it is almost as if he has changed as a person because of all this drama. I told Susan a couple weeks ago how I felt about Mike's recent behaviour and how he has changed but she didn't see it, until today, ultimately agreeing with my perspective that he has changed. Now she thinks that she brings out the worst in people because all of her relationships are coated with a thick layer of trouble, but I don't know how to express to her that she doesn't do such a thing because I know she doesn't. I also don't know what to do about Mike as well because I don't want him to be affected by any of this. I also don't want to encourage they break up entirely, but they are constantly fighting now and it's really affecting my friendships with both Mike and Susan. I also don't want to sound like an asshole, although I know that them breaking up will stop all this drama and not make Susan question her personality.
Hopefully other people will see this and we could get a discussion going. I realise that this is also my first forum post as well so if you have any tips as to how I could improve this for future reference that would be fantastic!
Thanks,
BellSwingsBothWays