Coming out as Bi to Homophobic, Christian Parents

    • Coming out as Bi to Homophobic, Christian Parents

      Hey everyone, I'm new to this website and I just really need some people to talk to... I'll just explain my situation to you....

      I'm 16, female, and I go to a christian school. My parents are very religious and my mother is very homophobic. Its been very clear to me from a young age that girls are supposed to like boys, and boys girls. That's how I was raised, but I've always struggled with it. I don't see things in black and white like my parents do. I've always supported LGBT+ and my mother is very critical of my support.

      I've always been very defensive of the LGBT+ community but I just thought that it was me being open minded. I never really knew that I was anything other than straight, because I was raised to believe that that was the right thing to be. About a month ago I was watching some coming out videos on youtube and I just started crying during one of the videos because I realized that I am bisexual and I don't want to hide it.

      The problem is, if I come out I know my mother will resent me and not accept me. I'm not worried about my dad, he's much more open minded, and I know two of my sisters would completely accept me, but my other sister is also very homophobic. I fear coming out because of what my parents will think. I know that they'll wonder where they went wrong in raising me, even though being bisexual is just who I am. I know I wouldn't be able to openly date another girl because of my mother and if I came out completely I would be kicked out of my school because of their beliefs. I don't think any of my friends would understand if I tried to talk to it about them, and I fear what would change if I did come out. I'm worried that I would no longer be able to go over to my friend's houses or have sleepovers because my mother would probably think that we were more than friends. And i don't want to freak my friends out because they'll probably think that I like them as more than a friend even though I don't.

      As I said before, I just need some people that are my age to talk to who will understand what I'm struggling with. Do you guys have any tips for me? Do you think I should come out? What have been your experiences with coming out as bi?

      Thanks for reading.
      -A Closeted Bi-Girl
    • I understand you very much. When I came out gay my parents flipped.
      My dad said I was a freak of nature and my mom said she was very disappointed in me.
      My sister had known I was gay for over a year and was very understanding and exceptive.
      Our family is all Christian but not overly religious in fact I am more religious than my parents.
      Anyway getting to the point. It took a month or so for my family to come around and we are ok now.
      My friends had different reactions some knew already and in the end I never lost a single friend over
      coming out as gay. You have a hard decision to make. You could wait until you are out of High School
      and in college. A lot of gays wait until they are adults to come out. I wish you luck and hoped my story
      helped you in some small way.