One of my best friends, Jane (fake name) has been on and off with a guy, Fred (also fake) for almost a year now. They broke up for the first time in September because she cheated on him a couple times during the summer. Since then, they have been off and on. Fred is always the one to break it off, and Jane always tries to win him back. Even when they're off, they still talk and hang out all the time. Fred started showing red flags during the summer. Jane told me he would go through her phone, call her names, and make her feel guilty when she wasn't in the mood to have sex. In November, he punched her arm hard enough to leave a pretty ugly bruise. When she brought it up to him later, he told her she deserved it and he would do it again. His verbal and emotional abuse continued. She struggles with depression and anxiety and he has repeatedly called her crazy, accused her of making it all up for attention, and has gaslighted her on multiple occasions. On New Year's Day, he threw her up against a wall and choked her. He later told her he was sorry but claimed that she made him act like that. Two days later, he smashed the front windshield of her car. He will claim to forgive her for the cheating, then bring it up when he's mad at her. I know cheating is wrong, and I never supported it, but it doesn't justify what Fred has done. Anyway, they are broken up right now, and Jane just texted me. She wants me to text Fred and beg him to give her another chance, and tell him I will make sure she doesn't cheat on him again. (She hasn't cheated since the first break-up, btw.) There's no way I can support this relationship, but I don't want her to cut me off because when Fred eventually takes her back, she will need all the friends she can get. The more isolated she is, the deeper she'll fall into this relationship. How do I tell her I can't support an abusive relationship without jeopardizing our friendship?