I don't know what to do or think? Please help

    • I don't know what to do or think? Please help

      Hey guys! I really need some advice. So me and my boyfriend have been together for almost a year and a half now, and we both love each other a lot. We have talked about the future and whatnot, I can't imagine myself with anyone else. He trusts me and I did trust him... So recently, he had exams and a lot of revision to do so he was studying a lot in the library. He met up with friends most of the time to study together as he told me (guy friends), and I 'kinda' made a joke about him secretly studying with a girl and if he would tell me. (I wouldn't say I am the 'jealous type' I'd just say I'm territorial and protective.) He said he would if I asked. I told him I wouldn't really be comfortable with that idea and asked if he could just tell me. He agreed. And so the other day, I saw him messaging another girl, and I'm completely fine with him having girl friends btw, we always ask each other who we're texting and so when I asked him, he was like 'this girl from my course, she just asked me what I got for my essay'. He was acting a bit weird about it and I didn't want to think anything of it but he's never really acted like this before, like he was hiding something? Then today I was over at his house and he went out to go to the gym for a couple hours, so he let me use his laptop to entertain myself whilst he was gone. I decided to check my Facebook, but turns out he was still logged on. And you've probably guessed what I did already and I feel so so awful for it and didn't mean to at all but the button was just there. I checked his messages. I looked at the conversation he had with the girl who 'asked him about his essay'. Turns out, they've been messaging back and forth for a couple months or so and he was asking her if she wanted to study together in the library, arranging to meet up and stuff. I mean I don't have anything against that but it was the fact that he lied to me. I saw that he also met up with her quite a few times. The way they were talking seemed not exactly flirty I guess, but a little too many jokes, and I remember a message he sent saying 'aww you broke my heart ' meaning it as a joke it seems, when she said she couldn't meet up with him one time. I just don't understand why he would initiate to meet with her everytime- yes everytime (she was never the one to ask?) when he could just meet with his other mates? Or even as a group? But alone with her? And I know it's wrong to read his messages like that, but what's done has been done and I can't ignore it. He even messaged her 'hoping to see you before you leave' as im guessing she lives outside of town from term time. So then I kind of asked him about it, I didn't say that I read his messages at all as I was scared of his reaction, and I also wanted to see if he would tell me the truth. So I somehow brought up the question of 'have you met with any girls alone for any reason whilst with me? Friendly or not, just be honest please.' And he said no. Straight to my face. The audacity to lie to me!! I thought he was a very honest guy, and he even has said the most important thing in a relationship to him is trust. So I don't get why he would lie?? I'm planning to confront him about it all- how I read his messages and everything. It's just that in a couple of days I planned a little roadtrip for us together, as I'm leaving for 3 months for an internship overseas. I don't want to ruin our trip as I planned it for a while now (and it was expensive and I can't cancel), but I also can't keep this in for too long.. should I just tell him now risking the fact that we might break up..? Or wait till after the trip and keep it in making it harder for myself? I really don't know what to do. I love him and always will, it's just that he has betrayed my trust. And for me trust is the most important thing in a relationship too. So I actually don't know if I can look past that personally (I know he didn't cheat, but still) and continue the relationship? Because for me , once someone breaks the trust, it is so hard to gain it back. And I know I'm a bit of a hypocrite as I checked his messages I guess so that broke his trust. But like I said I can't undo what I saw and I really don't know what to do or I'm just being a little too sensitive over the fact that he did this?? Please help ♥️
    • The fact that he's been lying for so long to you about her, really bothers me. I mean he just lies to you without feeling any guilt. I think you should confront him with this and see how he reacts. Or you could just ignore all this, but risking being more hurt after he actually cheats on you.
      I'm sorry for being so negative but I've seen this before and trust me, it doesn't allways end well.
      I really hope you will get through this issue.
    • heyy!
      You know I was dating a guy once, he was really nice and I felt in love with him, I egnored even the fact that he kissed one of my best friends. At one moment I understood that he was not the right person for me because everytime he went to her house I was worried and everytime I thought "what if...". When I told him that we should stop dating het was sad and said that he liked me alot, but two days later the friend he kissed told me that he was sleeping at het house quite often and that they are going to a bar almost every week. That was the moment when I knew for sure that he was not the right person for me...Yes he made me happy but he also made me sad.
      The point of my story is that if your bf is hidding her from you then there is something to hide, I don't think he is cheating on you though. but maybe he likes her at a certain way. Anyway you should really talk to him because if he has feelings for her, he will go to her if you will be away for a month. even if you love him and even if he makes you happy you should think...is it worth all you worries. but anyway just talk to him! :)