Working out if my friend is gay?

    • Working out if my friend is gay?

      So I have a friend that I would quite like to have some fun with but he hasn't come out as gay however he acts quite gay. He doesn't have a feminine voice but I jokingly said to him once I'd f*ck him in the a*sehole if he lost his football match and he said "do it now if you want" while angling his bum towards me (he was walking beside me). On another occasion there was a group of us swimming at a river and one guy was swimming in only his boxers. My friend then slapped his a*se randomly.

      What do you guys think?? Also I'm closeted so he doesn't know I like him.
    • Hard to know...he could be, it could also be that he KNOWS and senses that you are gay. And as your friend he wants to give you signals, letting you know that he's okay with it. I had a friend that was in the closet while we were in highschool, and even though he would talk about how he thinks gay people were gross (because he was raised to think it was wrong, poor guy), I started to talk about things like "I think my sister is bi-sexual" then I would deliberately tell him that I totally didn't care if she was gay, and how i met this gay actor who so amazing etc...and it was just to let him know, "hey buddy, you can trust me. People who happen to be attracted to the same sex are just fine by me!"

      I never pushed him to come out, i never asked him head on "are you gay???" I knew he wasn't ready for that, wanted to respect that it was HIS choice when he wanted to come out... but that if he were to tell me, I'd stand by him. I would think of him as the same old guy I've always known -charming, fun to be around, a great friend, adventurous, a happy guy that makes me laugh!!

      2 years later (the year after we graduated highschool), he called me up out of the blue, and he told me "he had a secret to tell me, and for me to guess.." I knew what it was but wanted him to tell me...and when he did. I just said, "That's fantastic. I'm really glad that you feel like you can be YOURSELF with me." I also told him that he could come over to my house and "be himself" too, my parents are educated and didn't care so he had a safe space there....yeah once out of high school, the world is just so much bigger, so many more accepting communities...unless you live in the terrible southern states,around uneducated trump supporters (the national embarrassment).

      I'm so glad I live in Canada!