MEANT TO BE or TOXIC

    • MEANT TO BE or TOXIC

      im gonna try and keep this short and simple,

      So heres a bit of background history:
      In late 2015, I had a huge crush on this guy (lets call him Dave). I knew from the first moment I saw him that I wanted him in my life. It wasn't until feb 2016 that we actually met face to face and everything escalated from there. I was completely head over heels for him and I'll admit we did rush into the relationship. He asked me out after a week of talking and I was so happy and even though I felt like me around him. I could be myself and he could be himself around me. We was both so happy and everyone could see it. I had been with a guy before him previously on and off for 2 years but when I got with Dave I know that I was in love with him. I really was. Long story short things did go downhill after about five months. Where we was both young and stubborn we would never talk about our relationship problems we would just ignore them. We then broke up in june 2016 and I was a mess. It broke my heart. But ever since then we havent left eachother alone. we would still meet up, he would still come round, we'd still have sex, we was basically in a relationship but without the label.

      i still really love him, he's my world but i havent been able to tell him. recently things between us have been good, we talk but its more banter than serious if you get what i mean. before he used to come and go as he pleased but the last three four months we've stayed in contact and theres definately less tension between us.

      i want to be with him again but im not sure how he feels. i want this guy in my life. we both have tried to date other people but i know when ive dated other people its never really worked out cause my feelings for him just dont seem to fade and i know its the same for him.

      i wanna tell him how i feel and really remind him of what we had but i dont know what to say... (what should i say)

      also, i dont wanna act like were together when were not. this is our last chance or im walking away for good, cause i cant keep doing this to my heart. i need to be happy and i want him to either be with me or if hes 'not ready to start again' i need to tell him to back off. im seeing him before my birthday in jan. someone please help me with what to say...

      i wanna get across the point that:
      i still love him but if we cant make this official or if we cant both grow up and talk through our problens that im done.

      i want something heart felt but straight to the point.

      sorry if this doesnt make sense... ?( :!: