having a rough time with high school love life?

    • having a rough time with high school love life?

      Hiah guys, i've posted on here before about some stuff but recently i've been having issues again I hate to say. In brief, i've had three major relationships in the past couple years, one with a girl who forced me through threatening to kill herself to dump my current-at-the-time girlfriend (lasted a few months because she used it to get with another guy and then stopped threats), a second girl who was my original girlfriend in that prior issue that I was forced to breakup with, but she turned out to be incredibly fake and lying about a bunch of things, as well as only really hanging out with me and letting me get barely to first-base over a span of a year and a half because she seemed to only like that I bought her food after work and sometimes after school (ending up spending well around $500-700 on her [fyi money earned with my really low-wage-paying high school job]) and i've been not talking to her recently because she never seems truly apologetic for issues she's caused, and finally a recent girlfriend who lasted for maybe a night, who was a girl a year younger than me that i went out to play a board game because she was bored (thinking it was just a friends thing that maybe i could eventually get into a closer thing), then we went out again and watched tv shows together, to which i asked if she had a boyfriend or anyone and she said she didn't.

      She turned out that she wanted me to actually have kissed her that second night, and so i asked to go out again so i could at least make it up to her, and she said that she thought i was "sweet" and all, but she wanted someone more commanding and less "flimsy" or something. I said that it was kinda because my prior girlfriend conditioned me into not letting me get close with her or getting beyond first base (which was true), so she let me have a second chance which she seemed really angry about and not really enjoying. So i went out and this time i sat close with her and put my arm around her etc, and at the end when we were gona go home, I turned to her so I could at least kiss and she said "sorry but I don't want to with you" or something with a smile. so i dropped her off and she said "I hope we can still be friends" and i said it sounded so cliche but then i said see ya and what not (fyi I didn't do any of this angrily, i was actually calm).

      And that last relationship is what really hit me weird because look: yes, i'm not the kind of guy to grab someone and just start doing things, but more so I like them giving consent and stuff like that because a lot of bad stuff constantly happens at my school which involves non-consensual problems, etc. And I'm also more of an introverted shy-guy, but I also just plain out have enough respect for people that I want them to have space and to not push myself onto them. Like I know there are some ideas that guys are always supposed to make the first moves, but i don't know honestly.

      My question is really about what in the world this all means, like is it my fault i'm having all of these terrible endings to relationships? whats even worse is that last girl was really similar to me in a lot of what we liked and stuff, etc. I don't know if i have another shot with her if i tried right or something even. I really just want to get to college at this point and hope I can find someone better, but at the same time, I wonder to myself if the fact that I can't get through high school without sustaining a girlfriend, then what kind of person am I? I really just have been wanting a girlfriend for mainly just having someone to have fun with and go places with. I'm not even too into sexual needs too much as I used to, but it'd be fun to have someone to take to the movies or to go to the mall with, ya know, all that fun stuff. I don't know honestly what to do, and I know a lot of people will say for me to focus on me for now or something, and I have been before this 3rd girlfriend, but I was so overwhelmed by the new girl that I was so happy, and then so depressed as soon as it broke off.

      Any help or advice I'd unimaginably appreciate because I'm going downhill fast at this in depression and I need some good advice people's help! Thank you so much!