I'm a boring and lonely guy

    • I'm a boring and lonely guy

      Hey there :) , I am a 16 years old boy, this is my first time posting anything here. Just so that you know, Its gonna be some depressed emo shitty guy talking about how horrible life is, so feel free not to bother.

      I'll start at the beginning, I was born in Paris, France until I moved to the US 2 years ago. English isn't my first language so please excuse the shitty style and grammar errors. I was introduced to a new language and country and high school, I'm doing okay in my classes, but my parents and the school over stress me about college and life. Because I moved, I lost all my french friends, we chatted on Whats-app for a year but we stopped writing each other and right now I am getting further and further to my best friend, when we used to chat every day and doing Skypes every weeks, we dont chat anymore and we do only one Skype a month. In my high school, I have some 'friends' but these are only people I know and I kill time with, I am fake with them and they are fake with me to. In america, i feel like a fucking, stupid and boring piece of shit, I have no sense of humor : I dont get jokes, I cannot make jokes, I need people to repeat what they said, I cant pronounce things like 'squirrel', which make me look so stupid. I have never been in a relation ship (even my own parent think i'm gay), I told people at school I have, not to look fucking retarded, once again. i'd like to get a girlfriend, but I know I'm a piece of crap and I dont deserve my crushes, so I just stare silently, pretending to look another way. No one at school likes me, proof : no one has ever invited me to do anything (hangout, go to a party or a game). My social life ends at school. To look 'cool', I started skateboarding, but it just makes me look like crap (once again) because I'm trash at it. I still skate because I like it, but I never show up in front of anyone with my skateboard. I play guitar on my own when I feel bad, but same, I wont play in front of anyone because I'll just get nervous and look like a crap. Hopefully, I have some lifesavers : guitar, listing to music (playlist of my favorite tunes if it interests you : link), playing video games and computer programming. I feel depressed and lonely and I know it will stay this way because I'm just an empty and boring teenager. I always feel like I wanna die, I want to harm myself, but just like with girls, I'm to much of a fucking coward to try it. Anyway, I just always feel like crap. I know some people say 'look around you, you have an awesome life compare to kids in third world countries', and it makes me feel even worst, like I don't deserve to be depressed. So yeah i just feel lonely wand would want a hug. I'm not sure you can help me, It just felt good to write that, thank you for reading. :)

      PS : I personally think I am ugly and bonny as shit, I cant stand in front of mirror
    • wow. I'm reminded everyday how terrible people are. Sorry for the ridiculous responses you have gotten for your post. No one deserves to be talked to that way. It takes alot to open up and seek condolences, and most these idiot's on here seem to have inappropriately elevated levels of fear and confusion. Contact me anytime privately and you won't have to subjected to the worst people America has to offer. Dont worry...we aren't all like that... just the unintelligent trump voters.
    • We always consider ourselves worse than we really are. But if I were you, I would start learning more than ever,I would gradually learn everything myself. In my opinion, this is a wonderful time for finding yourself, your interests, motivation, setting goals, etc. Try to look at the situation from this side.
    • New

      ouragan 84!

      Oh my gosh, of COURSE you're going through a hard time!!! Right now you are experiencing a lot of things all at the same time!
      - You moved to a new COUNTRY and school in your TEENS!
      - You miss your friends and have to start all over again.
      - Other kids already know each other, they grew up with each other, it's hard to join any group.
      - Teenagers and high school in general is the worst part of many people's lives. Teens are insecure and cruel to each other in general.

      Things you need to know :) <3 :

      - You have ONLY been in the US for 2 years so far-- your English is fantastic!!! Stop being so hard on yourself <3!!! It's AMAZING what you're doing right now. You are handling all of the challenges at one time!!! Many of the other kids are going to graduate high school and won't know how to survive the world and handle change. You WILL.

      - You are not alone, there are lots of people adapting to a new country and language.

      - You have a second language! AND it's FRENCH! Do you know how valuable that is $$$!!! Don't EVER lose your French speaking, reading or writing skills!!! I promise you it will be useful for you one day. You can work in many many jobs --many jobs require a second language. Just being bilingual is going to open so many doors for you! There are many jobs I want to apply for but can't because a second language is required (GOOD jobs that pay a pension like working at the airport, immigration services, many many others not just the airport). The working world needs you, you have skills they want & NEED.

      - YOU have the ability to travel around the world with your laptop and make money. You can become a translator/interpreter if you keep your french! And you have learned English THIS fast. You are free!!! You can have hobbies, you can work from home, or travel if you decide you want to translate...you just have to research interpreting/translating jobs and build the skills the job posting asks for. That guy travelling around the world & enjoying life is not someone ELSE. That's YOU!! YES it's YOU! YOUR DIFFERENCE IS GOING TO BE YOUR BEST ADVANTAGE.

      - Remember that you are so hard on yourself. And you are wrong. You are an @sshole to yourself. I'm sorry but you are! Read what you wrote above, No wonder you feel so bad. You are saying bad things to yourself over and over and over again all day... Even if you don't believe it, you need to KNOW you are wrong and say to yourself, "F*ck those thoughts, I'm f*cking awesome, I'm the french connoisseur!"

      - You've only been in the US for 2 years, you're going to meet new friends...moving is HARD...it takes a few years to build a steady base of friends for anyone, be PATIENT with yourself. It's going to get better from here. In the meantime focus on yourself. Visualize success and if anyone tries to get in your way...f*ck them, lol!

      - Go to the gym. Build muscle. Eat a lot of protein, you WILL build muscle! Plus BECAUSE you are thin, you will have ABS really easily!! Look around you...in America...how many people have abs?? NONE! Lol! I'm Canadian and it is shocking. If you can, find a mentor or a gym teacher, someone that likes to work out and go to the gym with them. Or just go to the gym, youtube how to use the machines. SO MANY teenagers TRANSFORM their bodies (but don't be one of those idi*t guys that cheats and uses steroids, you are classier than that). You are going to be THAT guy. You are going to start slow, but each day get closer and closer to it. Again do not be hard on yourself - every day you go to the gym say "I am a f*cking machine, I'm just getting started. I am the french connoisseur!" And if you miss a day here or there, you don't go to the gym, say "whatever, I don't feel bad, I am not going to be an asshole to myself about it." Or if you don;t want to go to the gym, just GO ANYWAYS and have a SHORT workout that day. You will get that muscle. Also remember you are GROWING, most guys lose weight when they are 16 because they are growing taller so fast. LOL again be patient with yourself. Just start a new habit of going to the gym. You are bored anyways right? Pat yourself on the back after every time you go. Tell yourself "I'm a machine, I'm f*cking awesome."

      - If any kid makes fun of your English, ask them, "do you know french?" if they say no, tell them "Well my English is better than your French" smile and quickly walk away.

      -Don't worry about women right now... seriously really really don't worry about them. They will come. They WILLLL. So many guys WASTE time worrying about women. And women WASTE so much time worrying about guys. I KNOW of course it's normal! You ALL want women, you allllll have raging hormones and want someone to makeout with. Seriously don't worry about women. Work o your confidence, your goals etc etc and women will come. They will come laterrrrr.

      - The world is so much bigger and soooo much betterrrr outside of high school. You need to work on your self-esteem first. TALK to a counselor, some of them are good and help. Find sometone you trust and TALK. Someone that's a good listener. Girl or guy. And at the same time explore, keep yourself busy doing different things, find out what YOU like. Take notes if you try something and enjoy it.

      -Emotional intelligence is the most important thing for success. Watch every successful or HAPPY person and you will notice that they have good emotional intelligence. And I mean people who are truly happy, not fake happy people with stupid pictures on Instagram. Emotional intelligence is the most important skill in life but they don't teach it in school! They need to teach Budgeting, finance, emotional intelligence and cognitive therapy in school. VERY important skills for the real world. Remember you are awesome. You have only been in the US 2 years... oh my god it's going to get better--again, lol, especially after HS!!

      - If you're feeling down or too serious, remember you are probably being an @sshole to yourself ---> WATCH COMEDY. Watch your favourite comedian :)...whatever makes you LAUGH --lighten up XD! <3 LAUGH LAUGH LAUGH

      -Join clubs/activities you like to do, something outside of your school. Open up your world. You're going to be just fine, take advantage of everything good you have right now, read about cognitive therapy (find a book in french). And remember you're a freaking strong guy, you're going through all of these challenges at once! Life is going to get easier! Seriously it all takes patience. And when life is shitty (like when you are in highschool) just distract yourself with things you like to do....you'll meet other people through hobbies and learn a lot through hobbies.

      MUCH LOVE Ouragan!! XD <3!