Hey there , I am a 16 years old boy, this is my first time posting anything here. Just so that you know, Its gonna be some depressed emo shitty guy talking about how horrible life is, so feel free not to bother.
I'll start at the beginning, I was born in Paris, France until I moved to the US 2 years ago. English isn't my first language so please excuse the shitty style and grammar errors. I was introduced to a new language and country and high school, I'm doing okay in my classes, but my parents and the school over stress me about college and life. Because I moved, I lost all my french friends, we chatted on Whats-app for a year but we stopped writing each other and right now I am getting further and further to my best friend, when we used to chat every day and doing Skypes every weeks, we dont chat anymore and we do only one Skype a month. In my high school, I have some 'friends' but these are only people I know and I kill time with, I am fake with them and they are fake with me to. In america, i feel like a fucking, stupid and boring piece of shit, I have no sense of humor : I dont get jokes, I cannot make jokes, I need people to repeat what they said, I cant pronounce things like 'squirrel', which make me look so stupid. I have never been in a relation ship (even my own parent think i'm gay), I told people at school I have, not to look fucking retarded, once again. i'd like to get a girlfriend, but I know I'm a piece of crap and I dont deserve my crushes, so I just stare silently, pretending to look another way. No one at school likes me, proof : no one has ever invited me to do anything (hangout, go to a party or a game). My social life ends at school. To look 'cool', I started skateboarding, but it just makes me look like crap (once again) because I'm trash at it. I still skate because I like it, but I never show up in front of anyone with my skateboard. I play guitar on my own when I feel bad, but same, I wont play in front of anyone because I'll just get nervous and look like a crap. Hopefully, I have some lifesavers : guitar, listing to music (playlist of my favorite tunes if it interests you : link), playing video games and computer programming. I feel depressed and lonely and I know it will stay this way because I'm just an empty and boring teenager. I always feel like I wanna die, I want to harm myself, but just like with girls, I'm to much of a fucking coward to try it. Anyway, I just always feel like crap. I know some people say 'look around you, you have an awesome life compare to kids in third world countries', and it makes me feel even worst, like I don't deserve to be depressed. So yeah i just feel lonely wand would want a hug. I'm not sure you can help me, It just felt good to write that, thank you for reading.
PS : I personally think I am ugly and bonny as shit, I cant stand in front of mirror
I'll start at the beginning, I was born in Paris, France until I moved to the US 2 years ago. English isn't my first language so please excuse the shitty style and grammar errors. I was introduced to a new language and country and high school, I'm doing okay in my classes, but my parents and the school over stress me about college and life. Because I moved, I lost all my french friends, we chatted on Whats-app for a year but we stopped writing each other and right now I am getting further and further to my best friend, when we used to chat every day and doing Skypes every weeks, we dont chat anymore and we do only one Skype a month. In my high school, I have some 'friends' but these are only people I know and I kill time with, I am fake with them and they are fake with me to. In america, i feel like a fucking, stupid and boring piece of shit, I have no sense of humor : I dont get jokes, I cannot make jokes, I need people to repeat what they said, I cant pronounce things like 'squirrel', which make me look so stupid. I have never been in a relation ship (even my own parent think i'm gay), I told people at school I have, not to look fucking retarded, once again. i'd like to get a girlfriend, but I know I'm a piece of crap and I dont deserve my crushes, so I just stare silently, pretending to look another way. No one at school likes me, proof : no one has ever invited me to do anything (hangout, go to a party or a game). My social life ends at school. To look 'cool', I started skateboarding, but it just makes me look like crap (once again) because I'm trash at it. I still skate because I like it, but I never show up in front of anyone with my skateboard. I play guitar on my own when I feel bad, but same, I wont play in front of anyone because I'll just get nervous and look like a crap. Hopefully, I have some lifesavers : guitar, listing to music (playlist of my favorite tunes if it interests you : link), playing video games and computer programming. I feel depressed and lonely and I know it will stay this way because I'm just an empty and boring teenager. I always feel like I wanna die, I want to harm myself, but just like with girls, I'm to much of a fucking coward to try it. Anyway, I just always feel like crap. I know some people say 'look around you, you have an awesome life compare to kids in third world countries', and it makes me feel even worst, like I don't deserve to be depressed. So yeah i just feel lonely wand would want a hug. I'm not sure you can help me, It just felt good to write that, thank you for reading.
PS : I personally think I am ugly and bonny as shit, I cant stand in front of mirror