my brother is sick.. but what about me?

    • my brother is sick.. but what about me?

      brother underwent surgery today to remove the infected intestinal, is awake and drugged on painkillers.
      of course i'm happy for him, i really, really am.

      but i want to disappear, to not feel selfish for trying to look out for myself. but what about me? why do you only seem to care when it involves him?

      will people stop calling me to ask how my brother's doing? please, just stop it...
      call girlfriend or even gods-forsaken mother, and not his younger sister who you distant relatives contact just to ask how he's doing.

      ..

      i'm here too.

      i'm so fucking sorry

      i'm sorry for existing

      i am so, so sorry that i can't take in your situation, dear brother

      mom won't do anything about my wellbeing, never has. she just ignores the problem even when i drop it directly in front of her nose, trying to tell her- help.

      i need help, anybody to talk to would be enough, somebody who would know of only me and not my brother. i'm so fucking exhausted.

      i feel like sixteen is too young to want the easy way out.
    • How are you doing? Are you OK? Are you getting enough rest and keeping up your strength by eating well?
      I'm so sorry your mother isn't there for you. (No wonder your relatives call you, asking how your brother is. They probably know you care about your brother and you may be the best person to ask.)

      Yes, 16 is too young to have this kind of responsibility/anxiety in your life. Of course you want to disappear. It's not being selfish. It's just feeling overwhelmed and that's perfectly normal to feel that way. ;) (I'll let you in on a little secret: a lot of grownups feel the same way you feel when they experience what you're going through right now.)
      But I have a feeling you're strong enough to deal with this situation in a way that's best for you and your brother. :) (I mean, you've put up with a mother who never has done anything about your well-being! That takes strength!)

      Please don't feel sorry for existing. ;( You have nothing to apologize for!
      And, of course, you're tired. || Stress can be very draining. That's why it's so important for you to take care of yourself. Your brother has doctors and nurses to take care of him. He's fine. It's you that you need to focus on right now.
      And when you take care of yourself, you'll be in a better position to be there for your brother, even if it's just to visit and say hi. If your brother cares about you, I'm sure he wouldn't want you to be exhausted and drained. When we take on all the burdens onto our own shoulders, we often get run-down and sick (colds, the flu, etc.) ourselves.

      I'm sorry that I just read your post now. Otherwise I would have responded sooner. I'm new to this forum and I'm just finding my way around the place. :D Please feel free to post anytime.
    • Hey!
      It´s good that you are here. You have the right to exist like everybody else. And even when your brother is going through a hard time, you have feelings, wishes, problems and fears too.
      People should respect and see you as yourself. I hope your parents will see this soon. It is brave to speak about it. I wish you power and love! :)
      curious open-minded short but not so short guy from Germany. open for conversations/PMs, all topics, all ages, all genders