Boyfriend really wants oral, but I'm not sure...

    • Boyfriend really wants oral, but I'm not sure...

      My boyfriend and I have been dating for nearly four months, and really like him. However, he has really been hinting that he would like me to give him oral. We've never really done anything serious. He's been under my shirt a few times and has rubbed me through the crotch of my pants, but that's pretty much it. We never really have the time alone to do anything, and, besides, I always imagined in my head that I would wait until i'm 16 to do anything serious. Not judging anyone who has done anything younger than that, it's just the age at which I always wanted to wait until.

      So my question is should I wait to try and give my boyfriend oral or should i just get it over with? My friends aren't much help because nearly all of them have done it, with a few of them already going all the way, and they all act like its no big deal and i should just do it and get it over with. Even my boyfriend points out that some of my friends have already done it, which kinda irks me that he knows these things about my friends and easily tries to use it to justify moving our relationship to another level.

      I guess I am just looking for any advice on what I should do. This is why I really signed up on here.

      Thanks for any advice you can give.
    • Hey Breanna.
      You decide when you´re ready, noone else has the rigth to demand such things. I can understand that he want´s it. But if you are not ready, he has to wait. I hope he understands this soon.
      curious open-minded short but not so short guy from Germany. open for conversations/PMs, all topics, all ages, all genders
    • I think you should wait. Four months isn't very long and I wouldn't like to think he's only with you for his own pleasure. Going under your shirt is for him (and possibly rubbing your crotch is for his pleasure also). When you give a guy oral, it's just giving him pleasure and you have to do all the work. Too many guys are with a girl for what she can give him, not because he cares about her.

      If it's any consolation, a lot of people brag that they've "done it" when maybe they haven't. Also, a lot of guys talk to each other (bragging, comparing, etc.) so maybe your boyfriend found out that your friends are giving oral, from their boyfriends.
      If that's the case, if you do give oral (or do anything sexual with your boyfriend), your boyfriend might tell his friends what you did or allowed him to do. It makes a lot of guys seem important if they can brag about "what she did to me". And unfortunately, when that happens, often a guys' friends will think you're "easy" and sometimes want/expect you to "put out" for them. Then if you don't, some guys get mad and say things like: "Who do you think you are? What, you think you're too good for me?", etc. And sometimes the girl gets raped because the guy forces himself on her.
      A lot of guys think just because a woman gives everything to one man (probably because she loves him), she'll give everything to any other man. Not to scare you, but it can get really dangerous if you're with the wrong person/people. Too many women have found out the hard way.

      There's one way to find out whether he cares about you or whether he's just with you for his own selfish needs: don't give him oral and see if he still acts like he likes you and wants to be with you. ;)

      Welcome to Teen Hut. We're glad you signed up on here. :)
    • Benni90er wrote:

      Hey Breanna.
      You decide when you´re ready, noone else has the rigth to demand such things. I can understand that he want´s it. But if you are not ready, he has to wait. I hope he understands this soon.
      He is NOT demanding it. He is making passive-agressive hints or suggestions. I understand that boys want things that girls may not, I'm just wondering if it's a big deal. I mean, am I holding out on doing something that is nothing to be worried about. I guess that is my concern. Am I being a "prude" for prudence sake? I don't want to be known as a "sleaze" or a girl that is "easy", but I also don't want to be made fun of for upholding my values. God! I hate being 14!
    • Passive-aggressive is almost just as bad. It can be a means of manipulating someone. Maybe even playing mind-games with that person. A good boyfriend doesn't (or shouldn't) do that.

      It's a big deal to the boy. He just stands there and lets the girl do all the work. He gets to have an orgasm with very little effort on his part.

      You're not being a prude. If anyone calls you that (or makes fun of you), that's on them. They're trying to insult you so you'll do what they want. That's manipulation and that's wrong. When someone cares about you, they won't treat you like that. A good boyfriend won't treat you like that.

      It has nothing to do with being 14, I'm sorry to say. Some women (who are 24 years old and older) are going through the same thing: not knowing whether they should or shouldn't do something.
      Ultimately the choice is yours but it's OK to say no.
      It's OK to refuse to do something you're not comfortable with.
      It's not OK to be pressured.
      :)
    • BuccosGirl2020 wrote:

      Benni90er wrote:

      Hey Breanna.
      You decide when you´re ready, noone else has the rigth to demand such things. I can understand that he want´s it. But if you are not ready, he has to wait. I hope he understands this soon.
      He is NOT demanding it. He is making passive-agressive hints or suggestions. I understand that boys want things that girls may not, I'm just wondering if it's a big deal. I mean, am I holding out on doing something that is nothing to be worried about. I guess that is my concern. Am I being a "prude" for prudence sake? I don't want to be known as a "sleaze" or a girl that is "easy", but I also don't want to be made fun of for upholding my values. God! I hate being 14!
      Take all the time you need to decide. Try to think calmly.
      You can try a thought experient. Imagine, he didn´t do his passive-aggressive hints, let´s asume for a moment, he just mentioned it once. Now forget about all the other people around and think for yourself: would you like to do that? Would you like to give him oral? Is that something you want to do? If so, is he the one?
      If the answers are yes: do it. If the answers are no: Don´t do it.
      If you do it and his "friends" think you are an easy girl, they are major idiots! Giving oral to your boyfriend is something between you too. You are not giving any boy oral, it would be your boyfriend. What about that says "easy girl"? Nothing. But if he wants you to do it, just to brag to his friends, maybe is isn´t the right one. But i am carefull here because i don´t know him.
      Take your time and do what feels good for you :)
      curious open-minded short but not so short guy from Germany. open for conversations/PMs, all topics, all ages, all genders