Porn

    • Ok so I'm a 12 year old girl. My boyfriend who is also 12 has been with me for over 2 years. We are pretty close and best friends. We hang out together at school, go out on weekends and he stays at mine overnight every week.
      We kiss quite a lot but that is all we've done which is fine because I'm only 12.
      We are both going through puberty but my problem is I think he is developing faster than me.
      He watches porn almost every day. Is this ok? I don't like it. Does it mean he doesn't think I'm attractive or he wants more than just kissing? He tells me I'm hot and stuff but I'm worried he isn't getting enough from me anymore. What should I do?
    • Hello :)
      You should talk to him about it. Hormons can make boys do many sexual stuff. Maybe he wants more. But you are important. If you don´t want to go further, he has to wait.
      The best thing is walking about it. You know each other for 2 years, i am sure you can clear the situation together. You are worth waiting :)
      curious open-minded short but not so short guy from Germany. open for conversations/PMs, all topics, all ages, all genders
    • He tells you that you are hot and attractive. I don´t know if he has a reason to lie to you. I didn´t have a girlfriend, but i was surrounded by hot girls in school. They turned me on massively. But i still used porn often.
      curious open-minded short but not so short guy from Germany. open for conversations/PMs, all topics, all ages, all genders
    • Your first statement might be the reason.
      If porn is cheating is something you have to decide yourself. Some people are even ok with their partner having sex with others. You could ask him why he watches porn. Or if he wants more.
      I understand your concern. But it doesn´t need to be something bad.
      curious open-minded short but not so short guy from Germany. open for conversations/PMs, all topics, all ages, all genders
    • Whether you're okay or not with your partner watching porn is your decision but I would say that plenty of married people and people with active sex lives still watch porn. I doubt it has anything to do with him not finding you attractive. He just probably needs a sexual release, knows that you don't want to go too much further and uses porn for a release. It's normal. Like masturbation is normal even for couples who have sex Sometimes one partner needs greater sexual release than the other so masturbates and even when that's not the case, it's still common for them to masturbate. A masturbation and porn don't fulfill all the needs that a partner does. You fulfill a different need than porn - intimacy and romance, not just sex. And you don't have to give someone sex, just because they need sexual release. People are quite adequate of dealing with that themselves.

      I wouldn't feel that worried about it if I were you. You're not doing anything wrong. And, personally, I don't think he's doing anything wrong either - though, that is ultimately for you to decide. I suggest just talking it out with him if you are still worried about it.
      What's up, my dudes?
    • 12yearoldmess wrote:



      ... He watches porn almost every day. Is this ok? I don't like it...
      Unless you have an open relationship, it's not okay. It's considered cheating as he is officially with you.

      Porn is also often unrealistic so if you and he ever did have sex, he might be disappointed as real life often doesn't live up to make-believe.

      Your boyfriend may not be mature enough to be in a serious relationship yet, I'm sorry to say.
    • I disagree that you have to be in an open relationship otherwise porn is considered cheating. As has been said multiple times it depends on each different couple for what is considered cheating. Also as stated way watching porn could be him getting sexual release that he feels you are yet to be ready to give, or even just curiosity about the whole subject.
      At the end of the day having an open and honest conversation with your partner is what will ultimately help you decide on your boundaries and what you are happy with in the relationship
    • Porn is definitely not cheating. Everyone has sexual needs and if you guys aren't ready to fulfil each other's sexual desires then by going about it that way is perfectly natural, especially considering he's beginning puberty and has a surge of testosterone which is probably leading him to have random boners all the time and sexualised thoughts. If you are genuinely affected by it make sure you talk to him about it so you can reach a compromise with him, but trust me he would definitely not think of the pornstars he watches as potential partners or anything like that it's just an outlet for him to engage with his sexual side.
    • coming from a guy:
      I dont think hes uninterested with you. Sometimes people get randomly horny for no reason, and at the start of puberty masturbation is all new and exciting. So thats why id say he watches porn. Also he might not want to force anything or put you on the spot so this is an alternative. But if you dont like it then just talk to him about it

    • pauline wrote:

      OliviaS:) wrote:

      Porn isn’t cheating in my opinion, all boys watch porn. Just gotta make sure he’s not addicted to it
      How do you know all boys watch porn?As none of us know all boys, how can we, in all honesty, make that statement?
      I think that was just a turn of phrase. Many boys do, but not all, though I doubt the implication was that every single boy on the planet does.
    • Here is a warning porn sites are for 16 year olds. So if I were you I would stop watching them because it could end bad for you mostly because I am pretty sure that you could get fined for watching porn. Since I am not your boss and because I am not 100 percent sure if you could get fined just do what ever you want. Oh ps porn websites track you. Or at least some of them do.
      Pulmonoscorpius
    • No longer in Use wrote:

      I think that was just a turn of phrase. Many boys do, but not all, though I doubt the implication was that every single boy on the planet does.

      In my opinion, when someone uses generalized expressions (such as; "all women" this and "all men" that...), they often do so to try to prove a point they otherwise cannot prove, and their turn of phrase ultimately looses credibility.
    • pauline wrote:

      No longer in Use wrote:

      I think that was just a turn of phrase. Many boys do, but not all, though I doubt the implication was that every single boy on the planet does.
      In my opinion, when someone uses generalized expressions (such as; "all women" this and "all men" that...), they often do so to try to prove a point they otherwise cannot prove, and their turn of phrase ultimately looses credibility.
      Fair enough. But I don't believe her point was really relying on that generalisation all that much. It was rather a statement that the situation was not unusual and, therefore, in her opinion, not a cause for concern. I have to say, from personal experience, I would agree: the vast majority of boys I know do watch porn to a varying degree (whatever you think about that, it is rather true) - not all, but lots - and I don't see how it should have a baring on the relationship.

      Why do you say it's "considered cheating" and not okay? I'm genuinely curious. Unless he pursued some form of relationship, I don't see how it is unfaithful. He has viewed some content in which he finds the people and the acts attractive. That may be something you view as unsavoury - I'm not debating the issue and ethics of pornography - but I don't see how it constitutes infidelity.