Ive messed up big time...What do i do!?

    • Ive messed up big time...What do i do!?

      Ok its a fairly long story if you dont mind, im not sure if this is the right place to post it as im fairly new here but basically heres my situation. It started around i think was something like octobor 2007, and there was this new girl
      at school. At that point in time i believe i immediatly felt attracted to her,
      unfortunatly i didnt see her around often and when i did i never had the confidence to speak to her.As time passed by i started to feel more and more for her. Now in my life ive had 2 or 3 people ive fancied before but never like this. Normally it would last a month or so and then would slowly fade. But not this, i only seem to think of her more and more. And so after a while
      i believe that the only word i can think to call it is love. The trouble is i could never speak to her, i was always to shy. About one week before the christmas holidays i couldnt hold it in any longer and i made what i now believe the biggest mistake of my life. I dont know why exactly but i saw her and i admitted everything...well mumbled it....and then asked her out.
      Now remember at this point id never spoken to her before, she didnt know me at all, and id had walked up to her from nowhere and done this. Of course the answer was no. Id just thrown any chance i had with her out the window. And so i spent the holidays in misery. Now more than ever i want to be able to start something with her, ive tried to forget her and move on but it seems like thats the one thing i could never do.
      Id love so much simply to be able to speak to her, to have normal conversation with her as a friend. Nothing more. Just to have that would, for a time at least, be fine with me. But its not that simple.
      Every time i see her i remember of that day and i feel as if ive wrecked anything between us. On valentines day i gave her a card, saying i was sorry about before and would like it if we could get to know each other a bit. When i gave it to her she smiled... that smile made me feel the happiest i have ever felt. And yet since then we havnt made any contact at all,
      not even eye contact. We were paired together in science for an experiment and she seemed to avoid me most the time. I dont know what to think anymore! Im so depserete im even getting counsilling from the school counsiller. The counsillers trying to help me be able to open conversation with her but i just have this awful fear she would sooner push needles in her eyes than speak to me. But there have been to many mixed messages
      for me to make any sense. Often shed offer me a slight smile, only to then break eye contact straight away. I wish so much to speak to her... just to ask something like *doing anything nice over easter* or something but i feel as if after the incident before christmas she might think me strange. I wanna be able to open up a normal conversation with her without giving her any more reason to have a bad impression of me. I wish i could go back and undo all that and have tried to have slowly built something... but its to late now. Id do absolutely anything to have even a slight friendship with her.
      But i have a feeling ive wrecked any chance of that, never mind build a relationship. And even if i can open conversation with her, what am i suppost to say? Please help! Ive know idear what to think anymore.
      I love her so much id do anything to gain the confidence to speak to her and have something to actually say. How can i feel so deeply for someone ive barely spoken to? How am i suppost to speak to her? So many questions! Advice would be incredibly helpful. Sorry if it was a little long but ive had alot building up on my mind the last few months :confused:

    • Re: Ive messed up big time...What do i do!?

      i know how you feel trust me that guy wasnt worth all ma attention. i didnt like anybody like i liked him but anwyays about this girl.

      well she probably thinks that you are desperate and are trying too hard. be casual i know its hard i understand totally but you have to keep it calm and steady. when you see her just say hi and nothing at first do it a couple of times hi whenever you see her if she says hi back then this means you have a chance and if she doesnt then she isnt worth it to be honest.

      if she says hi then start little convos witrh her sayin hi how are you? gotta go cya stuff just a short convo if after this she talks to you then ask if she wants to hang with you and if she doesnt talk then back off she isnt intrested. it'll be hard but you'll have to try!
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    • Re: Ive messed up big time...What do i do!?

      You sound like a decent bloke, but in this case, i think it works 2 ways, what you'v done with the card was pretty good, coming from a girl, but her obviously ignoring you like that kind of points to the fact that she may really not be interested, but i think the best thing here is to put all your energy into not thinking about her, so when you next see her, start talking to your friends, like your really enjoying their company, girls do notice, if their interested, when a guy is enjoying himself, but i guess that's all you can do.
      Try not to make it seem to an outsider that you are really hurting. Meet some new people, that's all i can give.
      Good luck
      xxx

    • Re: Ive messed up big time...What do i do!?

      First off, you don't love her. You probably don't even like her. You're just attracted to her. If you've never spoken to her then you don't know anything about her. You don't know what she's like, you don't know her personality. There's a possibility that if you know her you wouldn't even want to be friends with her.

      I think it's best if you just let her go. I'm sure she's probably creeped out after what you did. She probably wouldn't have been if you had actually spoken to her. I'm sorry, but I don't think you're going to have much of a chance with her. You need to move on.

    • Re: Ive messed up big time...What do i do!?

      I know how you're feeling.
      Hmm...well it doesnt really look too good..
      If she was interested in you then she probably would have made an effort to speak to you after the christmas incident, as you were clearly interested in her..
      But still, I can't see any reason why you can't make an effort to be her friend. Maybe you could find out about some things she's interested in and talk about those with her, people tend to like talking about themselves and their own interest rather than other people's.
      If you get talking you may just 'click' and something could happen, but if you do become her friend then take it slowly before you tell her you want more. She may just want to be nothing more and get freaked out and feel awkward. So make an effort but just think things through and be prepared to accept that it'll never happen.
      Hope that helped.
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    • Re: Ive messed up big time...What do i do!?

      I agree with what DOHnuts said, Basically try talking to her again, maybe you could make what happened before christmas incident into a sort of joke and laugh over it with her... which would make her feel more comfortable with what you think possibly. I don't see a reason why she would 'hate' you and you shouldn't be feeling like you have really messed up... after all there are plenty more fish in the sea. :p

      I know what it feels like, but remember you hardly know her personality. There is a girl the year above me who gets my bus... she is the sex. She has everything and I have seen most of her body on her bebo... yes... including her tits... But recently after a small incident at school... she started to talk to me more and she is not a nice person... just like my friends had told me!
      "It's better to be pissed off than pissed on!"

    • Re: Ive messed up big time...What do i do!?

      You've already apologized and you gave her a card, so now just try to have friendly normal conversations with her, and try to open up to her more and tell her you would like to be friends with her. Try not to come on too strong or it'll scare her away.
      If all your efforts continue to fail, then that jut means she's a snob and not worth your time, and you should probably just move on with your life. I've felt like this for guys before and I know how hard it is to break off that feeling, but the more time you spend away from that person and around Friends and Family, people who you can go out and have fun with to keep your mind off of her, the less you'll think about her as long as you shut her out from your mind and keep your mind focused on School and more important things.


      You could be my [SIZE=3]someone,[/SIZE]
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    • Re: Ive messed up big time...What do i do!?

      cursed939 wrote:

      Ok its a fairly long story if you dont mind, im not sure if this is the right place to post it as im fairly new here but basically heres my situation. It started around i think was something like octobor 2007, and there was this new girl
      at school. At that point in time i believe i immediatly felt attracted to her,
      unfortunatly i didnt see her around often and when i did i never had the confidence to speak to her.As time passed by i started to feel more and more for her. Now in my life ive had 2 or 3 people ive fancied before but never like this. Normally it would last a month or so and then would slowly fade. But not this, i only seem to think of her more and more. And so after a while
      i believe that the only word i can think to call it is love. The trouble is i could never speak to her, i was always to shy. About one week before the christmas holidays i couldnt hold it in any longer and i made what i now believe the biggest mistake of my life. I dont know why exactly but i saw her and i admitted everything...well mumbled it....and then asked her out.
      Now remember at this point id never spoken to her before, she didnt know me at all, and id had walked up to her from nowhere and done this. Of course the answer was no. Id just thrown any chance i had with her out the window. And so i spent the holidays in misery. Now more than ever i want to be able to start something with her, ive tried to forget her and move on but it seems like thats the one thing i could never do.
      Id love so much simply to be able to speak to her, to have normal conversation with her as a friend. Nothing more. Just to have that would, for a time at least, be fine with me. But its not that simple.
      Every time i see her i remember of that day and i feel as if ive wrecked anything between us. On valentines day i gave her a card, saying i was sorry about before and would like it if we could get to know each other a bit. When i gave it to her she smiled... that smile made me feel the happiest i have ever felt. And yet since then we havnt made any contact at all,
      not even eye contact. We were paired together in science for an experiment and she seemed to avoid me most the time. I dont know what to think anymore! Im so depserete im even getting counsilling from the school counsiller. The counsillers trying to help me be able to open conversation with her but i just have this awful fear she would sooner push needles in her eyes than speak to me. But there have been to many mixed messages
      for me to make any sense. Often shed offer me a slight smile, only to then break eye contact straight away. I wish so much to speak to her... just to ask something like *doing anything nice over easter* or something but i feel as if after the incident before christmas she might think me strange. I wanna be able to open up a normal conversation with her without giving her any more reason to have a bad impression of me. I wish i could go back and undo all that and have tried to have slowly built something... but its to late now. Id do absolutely anything to have even a slight friendship with her.
      But i have a feeling ive wrecked any chance of that, never mind build a relationship. And even if i can open conversation with her, what am i suppost to say? Please help! Ive know idear what to think anymore.
      I love her so much id do anything to gain the confidence to speak to her and have something to actually say. How can i feel so deeply for someone ive barely spoken to? How am i suppost to speak to her? So many questions! Advice would be incredibly helpful. Sorry if it was a little long but ive had alot building up on my mind the last few months :confused:



      I agree it was silly to ask her out if you didn't know her but everyone makes mistakes. I made a similar mistake when i told my gf that I loved her after being with her for only a couple of days. Luckily, I apololagized and explained that I just got carried away and then everything was ok. the best advice i can give is to try and say something like
      "I'm sorry for my outburst. I was just carried away. I know you must feel uncomfortable around me but I'd really like to be friends. please accept my apology".

      good luck.
      THERE IS NO GOD. PUT YOUR TRUST IN SCIENCE.

    • Re: Ive messed up big time...What do i do!?

      hey, jesus, great "women" quote, sorry back on topic:

      i've done near the same thing, but at the same time very different. perhaps, it could be used to demonstrate an instance of this type of situation turning out well...

      i asked one of my friends with whom i'd gone on trips (with a group) to places like colorado, and hung out and such, so one day i asked her to homecoming aka one of the boredom fests some call dances. anyway, she said she was going stag, and i was crushed. i was however comforted by a girl who seemed interested and who i asked to homecoming...bad idea, bud. she dances like an epileptic.

      but i digress. currently my friend, the first i asked to homecoming, is cool with me and we'll probably hang out once she has time. in fact i hung out with her at homecoming for a short time. i realized i'd worn out my welcome and left.

      now, for comic relief: homecoming in moderate detail.
      so the second girl, katie, practically asks me out, but only with body language. i ask her she's like "sure!" we go to the house chill, go to the dance, and here's where it gets hilarious. katie got cut by some guy's flower thing(the name is one i cannot recall), and goes to the bathroom to try to deal with it, so i go and chill with my friends.

      she ends up finding me and takes me to her group of friends where she begins to seize (no nothing good. she doesn't seize my cock or anything), so i gradually shift away and of course start to walk away.

      she finds me again and brings me to her group, seizes again...i realize what the hell am i doing here? you can't dance for your life, you won't even maintain eye contact, and you're more dancing with your friends than me, and WE'RE the ones on a date...i'm outtie bitch.

      then we watched the grudge at the after party. it was hilarious:
      "what do you mean? they're right here...HURRRRRR"

      The post was edited 1 time, last by wazzah! ().

    • Re: Ive messed up big time...What do i do!?

      Why should past events affect your future actions? Forget what happened, we all get rejected some time or other in our lives. And it hurts, but it should make you stronger, more determined that if you really want to prove yourself to this girl, then go for it.
      Send her a letter, explaining how you feel and that if nothing else were to come of you both, at least friendship. Let her see the guy who she'd be foolish to turn down.

    • Re: Ive messed up big time...What do i do!?

      Thanks sophia, although ive already given her a card for valentines day which kinda said most of that stuff. Thanks for posting all the same :) Btw after easter ill try starting conversation with her, she was ill all last week as far as i know :( Pehaps ask how her holiday went? I fear my confidence is gonna fall apart again when i see her mind you
      :cries:

    • Re: Ive messed up big time...What do i do!?

      Ok i havent read it all yet, but i will do.

      But the first bit of advice for you.

      Try and make her laugh. Be Calm, Be yourself. Treat her like a normal person for a bit and build up your confidence



      Ok Edit!!!

      I've read it, and my god i know how you feel, ive been in the same situation as you before. to a certain extent but i never said what i wanted to say to her.
      In the end i totally ruined it, and in that time i never said that i loved her,
      what you need to do now is just talk to her, which youve already figured out you need to do.
      Just start saying hi to her in the morning when you see her.
      You dont need to say anything else, hi, maybe hi how r u, when you walk past her in the mornings.
      Once youve got tht far, youve broke the glass, you just got climb thru the gap.
      Make more conversation
      Then youll know what you need to do yourself

      Best Wishes

      Adventurex
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      The post was edited 1 time, last by Pvt_Adventure ().