Is My Mom Supposed to Do That?

    • Is My Mom Supposed to Do That?

      For the past week my mom has been going off about everything she finds wrong with me. She's told me upfront that she doesn't expect anything out of me. Basically, she keeps in mind that I'm going to fail at whatever I do.

      Ever since my dad died it's always been about her. When she got mad at us, she would always bring up the fact that it was harder on her because she had to raise us on her own now. I don't think she ever realized that for us it is equally hard. We have to grow up now without a dad. She always made us feel different. She dragged us into support groups. When I told her I felt too different because i went to them she just replied with "well...you are."

      I hate it that she doesn't get anything anymore. My dad was always the one I could talk to. He's gone now...and my mom makes me feel horrible about myself. Just a few minutes ago she went off about my 'lazy a$$ nonachieving self.'
      I have my brother that I'm close too...but he's almost off to college. I want to fix this before I'm completely on my own here.

      I just want to be able to talk to her again. I HATE this on and off relationship with her.

      Please help. :( Any advice?
    • Re: Is My Mom Supposed to Do That?

      From my point of view I think it would be impossible to treat a son/daughter in that way in such a difficult time. Maybe that's just her way of dealing with it though? I would ask her to sit down and talk with her. Pick a good time, not a day where she is yelling. Tell her everything that is on your mind. Maybe get your brother to enter in on the conversation as well, so it is more effective.
    • Re: Is My Mom Supposed to Do That?

      My dad is the same way, it's just different. My parents are divorced so he's a single parent. No matter how much I do he says I'm a lazy scumbag, but he doesn't relaly mean it.

      What I do to combat this is clean up and stuff. He can't call me lazy when I clean up and fix up the house more than him. It doesn't take much time and it helps. He stops calling me lazy, and because he has less to do, he is less apt to get stressed out and get angry. You can pretty much hide behind your success at home if you get a bad grade in school, at that point. I dunno if that makes any sense. It just seems like it would help you both.
    • Re: Is My Mom Supposed to Do That?

      My dad used to be the same with me but when I decided to get a full time job our relationship changed. We can have a beer and talk on the level.

      The thing is some parents get upset if you do nothing with your life because they pay a lot of money per month and your doing nothing e.g. rent, food bills they work hard and get hardly anything and you do nothing and you get everything. So little things like waking up late will annoy them because they have to work and pay all the bills while you stay in bed, do my jobs around the house, stay up late, go to raves/partys while they can't do this because they have a commitment work/caring for you.

      Did my post make sense?

      #Leyenda.