i have this friend who means the world to me, she is the type of person that u want to be around. She is very pretty, and talented and smart, but she is a bit chubby. But she is so cute, but in her eyes she seems fat, and she tried to become anorexic for a while until she got sick, told me and i forced her to stop. She is in depression, and constantly tells me that she hates herself. I've been in her situation before, i really have and i've been trying to help her but she wont listen to me. She wont listen to her shrink, her mother, or anyone. It sadenns me to see such a bright star fade u know. does anyone have any advice on how to handle the situation?
my friend is suffering and i feel powerless
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yeah, this is a tough one. what i think you should do is continue to reassure her how awesome of a person she is, how cute she is. don't lie to her and say "oh you're so skinny!" but tell her all the things you like about her and all the things that are positive about her. most times, when people feel like this, they see themselves as a totally strange, "freak-ish" person, when really, they aren't at all. tell her how a lot of people feel like her, and that whatever she feels bad about her inside is a million times worse than she really is.
it's a hard thing, but it's something she has to overcome. all you need to do is be there beside her, encouraging her and being there for her.
i hope it all turns out okay. -
i've been doing wut u said to do already, she tries to push me away and tells me she doesnt need any help, shes even slapped me once to try and make me leave but i havent. i tell her that shes beautiful because its true, i've never told her she was skinny, but i have said that she is fine the way she is because she is. i kind of have a crush on her which makes this even harder on me, but im pushing my feelings aside to focus on hers, i just wonder if i can get through to her
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has she ever had a boyfriend?
ergh. okay, maybe not a good idea... but if she's insecure about herself, sometimes it takes going through a relationship to realize that she is worth something more than nothing. -
yes shes had a boy friend acutally i think she still has feelings for him, ive been encouraging her to talk to him and go out with him, in hopes that this will make her feel better. she has been getting better but every once in a while she just gets hit hard and falls apart and i try to pick up the pieces when she lets me. idk, i think that sumtimes i get through to her but she just doesnt listen 2 me u know, she once told me that she knows ive been where she is, maby even worse but in her mind she is the only one on the planet going through this. it kind of hurts knowing that there isnt much i can do but just listen when she needs me 2, and tell her everything will be ok.
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yeah, i know how that feels. my friend and i are our own support systems. we both go through something similar to your friend (at least, from what i'm getting) and what i'm most grateful of my friend is her being there, hugging me when i'm down. when i sulk or get angry, she's there to cheer me up and it really helps a lot. it might not seem like a whole lot, but it is.
i dunno. sometimes, it takes awhile for it all to click. my friend is totally amazing and she's beautiful and wonderful, but she doesn't see it a lot of the time. and it hurts so much to watch her suffer without being able to help, but i know that she wants to get better.
haha, sorry this was half rambling so it might not make any sense. -
no i get u, we're both in similar places. except im the one she turns to when sad or mad or w/e. but i can't imagine going to her, because she has so much to worry about already that i couldnt do that 2 her, i have 2 be strong for the both of us. lol.
but yeah i understand u.
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