I'm new here and yeah...haha. I was on the internet looking up how to get over jealousy (if that's even possible) and I saw this and yea. I have a boyfriend and we've been going out for 5 months now, it'll be 6 on the 3rd...but I still get jealous. I've gotten better at controlling it, but i know it bothers him when I feel sad or angry. Personally, I hate his ex girlfriend, because when me and him first started dating she spread stuff about us that really pissed me off. And yeah, they were going out for like two years, so when I see her I get really jealous and I imagine him with her...what should I do?? :confused:
Jealousy??
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It is natural, do not beat yourself up over it - it is natural reaction merely because of what she put you through, in a sense, he should understand your frustration, however, you also need to take responsibility and have faith in your boyfriend. If he feels you do not trust him, it'll get him upset, thus the trust in your relationship will slowly deteriorate, which is the foundation to any given relationship.
You need to realize, he is with you now, if you trust him like you hopefully should, you need to understand he is with you for a reason. Jealousy is hard to get over, but let me ask you a question, do you sincerely trust your boyfriend? Do you feel he will leave you for her? -
Honestly, I know he won't. I really do trust him, but it was just the fact of how long they dated. I remember when they were dating it was on and off for a few days but I don't know. When she dumped him last time she said she did it because she thought she could do better. He's told me he'd never leave me for her and I believe him, it's just the 'first love' thing that bothers me. She was his first love, and I've never had anyone before him.
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Then trust him. =]
You two should talk to one another extremely openly about this and try to come up with solutions amongst yourselves, that usually works the best.
Communication is crucial, you need to stop assuming the worst and ask questions, this requires you being completely open with him, holding back will cause jealousy. Being open is crucial as well, if your partner truly cares about you, they will help you in the process, but let him know you sincerely trust him, you know he wouldn't hurt you, but you still have the thoughts.
She was his first love, but they are over for a reason. It is your turn now, have fun and enjoy it, don't be worried, realize those thoughts will eventually be replaced with you. =] -
Okie, I'll try talking to him. I did try talking to him but I didn't really tell him everything and I know he knows I didn't. Thanks =]
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Jealousy is a curse;
i think most girls have it...
probably because girls are bitchy and will do anything to hurt you.
hold your head up high.. pretend you don't care. she might get over it and back off?
she cant keep doing it forever it'll eventually stop.
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You'll be fine. If he knows you didn't tell him everything, he has thought about it and he cares. That is good. Trust me my friend, if he was going to leave you for her, he wouldn't be with you for as long as he has. In a sense, 6 months might not be considered long compared to other relationships, but it is long enough to fall in love, create intense feelings, and especially moving on from former relationships. Talk to him and open yourself up, him assuring you of his emotions are much more adequate than a stranger over the internet doing it. =]
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Jealousy is a curse, and I got it bad. I'm just glad I learned to control most of it over the years.
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Ah~ I hate jealousy. When I first started dating my boyfriend, I was very jealous of the girl he used to like. He liked her for 3 years, but he never dated her because he basically lost his opportunity with her.
I was a bit jealous of her because at one point me and my boyfriend broke up because he wasn't sure if this relationship was what he wanted. So, he tried going after her and I tried to support him. I was okay with it at first but after a while I got really really jealous and I wouldn't help him anymore.
To keep a long story short, it didn't work out, he thought things over for a while and decided that he was at his happiest with me, so we got back together. I was very insecure when we got back together though. I thought "am I not as good as her?" and I thought that maybe I should be more like her and maybe he'll like me more then and I won't have to worry about him leaving me. When I told him this he said:
"I don't want another her and I wouldn't want another you either. I'm with you because I love you as you are, not because you're similar to her."
He said some other stuff too but it's a bit more of suited to our situation lol. But really, talk to him and tell him you're bothered by this. Obviously his ex is a little salty because she can't have the man she wants.
(for the record the two of us don't count the time we were broken up so that makes us together for 2 years now lol)