Warning: This will be quite a long post because I have a lot to say and quite a lot that I need advice on.
First off, I'd prefer not to say my name or give out any of my family's names. But I will tell you that I'm a female and 16 years old. Also, I have been having these problems for quite a while now... I live with my mother and step-dad, my younger brother and "older sister", and my boyfriend. (He doesn't really live here...he just stays here for a long time.)
Sometimes I feel like I'm a robot...or I'm invisible. Something along the lines where I'm not important. And I really don't know what my family wants from me anymore.
To my family I'm the "stable" child in the house. I'm not always upset or angry (or so they think), I do everything I'm told without arguing, and I'm the most mature one in the house. My younger brother (who is 13) is always depressed nowadays for no apparent reason. I personally think it's because he can't do what he wants to do. (He proved it once. That's the only reason why I believe so.) My older "sister" (who is 20) doesn't do anything. ANYTHING. She doesn't do any work around the house, she doesn't have a job, she can't pick up after herself, and all she does is sleep all day. Obviously I have a problem with both of my siblings at the moment.
No one in the house realizes it (except my boyfriend) that I'm having a lot of problems right now. The problem is I'm feeling so unimportant and invisible. I try to talk to my mother about my problems, but she stays silent after I'm done talking and then changes the subject to something that has to do about her. (Most of the time it's something she did that day or heard.) That makes me feel like my problems aren't being heard. What I don't understand is that she told me to talk to her when I'm having problems, but I try to do that and she either doesn't listen or she turns everything around to make everything about her.
What also makes it seem like I'm invisible is because she told my boyfriend that she worries more about my brother than anyone. That's why she pays more attention to him. She says that she's the only person he has and I have him so why worry about me. My brother has more people than me. He has my mother's full attention, an adult male that can play sports with him, a best friend who's over almost everyday, and two others friends that he doesn't see as often but he still does see. He even has people he's not friends with trying to make him feel better! Who do I have? I have my boyfriend. That's it. I should at least have my mother, but I don't. So my brother has less people than me? Bull.
Then there's my sister...the main cause of all of my pain throughout the past five years. You see, my sister lived with our grandparents up until five years ago, then she moved in with us. She grew up to be the most spoiledest brat you'll ever meet in your entire life. She's also one of the biggest babies. Always has to have to way, makes herself seem like the constant victim, needs to go to the hospital over every little cut. No, I'm not over exaggerating. Because she always had to get her way and everything was always about her we got into A LOT of fights. Every time we'd end up making up. About a year ago she blackmailed my boyfriend and I. That pushed me over the edge. Somehow I managed to forgive her. A year past...stopped talking to her for two months. She noticed and came to me begging for me to forgive her for whatever she did. Although I should have listened to my boyfriend when he said she wouldn't change her ways, I forgave her. It's kind of hard to hold a grudge against someone you live with, you know?
About two days after that night she proved to me once again why I shouldn't have forgave her. I'm just the person to talk to and hang out with when she has no one else. And I'm not going to take that. I ignored it and tried to keep a friendship going. Not long after that she broke up with her boyfriend and that same day was hanging out and hanging all over another guy. Gee, I wonder why she broke up with her boyfriend? (She's had about 15 boyfriends over the past five years. This same situation happened EVERY time. She'd find a new guy that she thought was better than her current boyfriend and dump him.) That made me angry. It was cold hearted. That proves she only cares about how she feels, no one else. I confronted her about how I felt...wanna know what she said to me? That that guy is the only person she has. The only person she has to talk to, to spend time with. That was the wrong thing to say. Wasn't she the one who came to me begging to have me to talk to and spend time with again?
That's not all she does. She seems to, even when we're getting along, talk about me horribly behind my back. Always negative. Making me sound stupid and making me sound like I'm worse than she is. I'm not going to have a sister or friend that will talk about me horribly behind my back. She doesn't know that I'm told every single word she says about me to my mother or brother.
Trust me, there's a lot more problems than this. I'd tell EVERYTHING but that would take a really long time, both to write and then read. I don't know what to do anymore. I try to talk to someone but the only person who will listen and care is my boyfriend. My mother, who I seriously need in my life to talk to (especially because I have no female friends I can have to talk to 24/7), won't listen to anything. If I'm upset or angry, I get yelled at about it or told to change my attitude. (That's another thing. Whenever my siblings get like that, they hear crap for it.) If she decides she wants to actually listen to me and I tell her my problems, she turns herself into the victim or make it sound like she's the bad guy and it's all about her.
What do I do? What can I do when no one will listen? I'm a ticking time bomb and each day I grow closer to exploding. How do I stop all the madness and protect myself from having a mental breakdown? I don't know what to do. How can I help myself when the only person who will hear my cries for help is my boyfriend and he can't do anything? (He's tried... He even talked to my mother for me. That talk went horribly wrong.)
First off, I'd prefer not to say my name or give out any of my family's names. But I will tell you that I'm a female and 16 years old. Also, I have been having these problems for quite a while now... I live with my mother and step-dad, my younger brother and "older sister", and my boyfriend. (He doesn't really live here...he just stays here for a long time.)
Sometimes I feel like I'm a robot...or I'm invisible. Something along the lines where I'm not important. And I really don't know what my family wants from me anymore.
To my family I'm the "stable" child in the house. I'm not always upset or angry (or so they think), I do everything I'm told without arguing, and I'm the most mature one in the house. My younger brother (who is 13) is always depressed nowadays for no apparent reason. I personally think it's because he can't do what he wants to do. (He proved it once. That's the only reason why I believe so.) My older "sister" (who is 20) doesn't do anything. ANYTHING. She doesn't do any work around the house, she doesn't have a job, she can't pick up after herself, and all she does is sleep all day. Obviously I have a problem with both of my siblings at the moment.
No one in the house realizes it (except my boyfriend) that I'm having a lot of problems right now. The problem is I'm feeling so unimportant and invisible. I try to talk to my mother about my problems, but she stays silent after I'm done talking and then changes the subject to something that has to do about her. (Most of the time it's something she did that day or heard.) That makes me feel like my problems aren't being heard. What I don't understand is that she told me to talk to her when I'm having problems, but I try to do that and she either doesn't listen or she turns everything around to make everything about her.
What also makes it seem like I'm invisible is because she told my boyfriend that she worries more about my brother than anyone. That's why she pays more attention to him. She says that she's the only person he has and I have him so why worry about me. My brother has more people than me. He has my mother's full attention, an adult male that can play sports with him, a best friend who's over almost everyday, and two others friends that he doesn't see as often but he still does see. He even has people he's not friends with trying to make him feel better! Who do I have? I have my boyfriend. That's it. I should at least have my mother, but I don't. So my brother has less people than me? Bull.
Then there's my sister...the main cause of all of my pain throughout the past five years. You see, my sister lived with our grandparents up until five years ago, then she moved in with us. She grew up to be the most spoiledest brat you'll ever meet in your entire life. She's also one of the biggest babies. Always has to have to way, makes herself seem like the constant victim, needs to go to the hospital over every little cut. No, I'm not over exaggerating. Because she always had to get her way and everything was always about her we got into A LOT of fights. Every time we'd end up making up. About a year ago she blackmailed my boyfriend and I. That pushed me over the edge. Somehow I managed to forgive her. A year past...stopped talking to her for two months. She noticed and came to me begging for me to forgive her for whatever she did. Although I should have listened to my boyfriend when he said she wouldn't change her ways, I forgave her. It's kind of hard to hold a grudge against someone you live with, you know?
About two days after that night she proved to me once again why I shouldn't have forgave her. I'm just the person to talk to and hang out with when she has no one else. And I'm not going to take that. I ignored it and tried to keep a friendship going. Not long after that she broke up with her boyfriend and that same day was hanging out and hanging all over another guy. Gee, I wonder why she broke up with her boyfriend? (She's had about 15 boyfriends over the past five years. This same situation happened EVERY time. She'd find a new guy that she thought was better than her current boyfriend and dump him.) That made me angry. It was cold hearted. That proves she only cares about how she feels, no one else. I confronted her about how I felt...wanna know what she said to me? That that guy is the only person she has. The only person she has to talk to, to spend time with. That was the wrong thing to say. Wasn't she the one who came to me begging to have me to talk to and spend time with again?
That's not all she does. She seems to, even when we're getting along, talk about me horribly behind my back. Always negative. Making me sound stupid and making me sound like I'm worse than she is. I'm not going to have a sister or friend that will talk about me horribly behind my back. She doesn't know that I'm told every single word she says about me to my mother or brother.
Trust me, there's a lot more problems than this. I'd tell EVERYTHING but that would take a really long time, both to write and then read. I don't know what to do anymore. I try to talk to someone but the only person who will listen and care is my boyfriend. My mother, who I seriously need in my life to talk to (especially because I have no female friends I can have to talk to 24/7), won't listen to anything. If I'm upset or angry, I get yelled at about it or told to change my attitude. (That's another thing. Whenever my siblings get like that, they hear crap for it.) If she decides she wants to actually listen to me and I tell her my problems, she turns herself into the victim or make it sound like she's the bad guy and it's all about her.
What do I do? What can I do when no one will listen? I'm a ticking time bomb and each day I grow closer to exploding. How do I stop all the madness and protect myself from having a mental breakdown? I don't know what to do. How can I help myself when the only person who will hear my cries for help is my boyfriend and he can't do anything? (He's tried... He even talked to my mother for me. That talk went horribly wrong.)
