Anorexia and Bulimia- help needed fast.

    • Anorexia and Bulimia- help needed fast.

      I have a friend and the year before last she started to have big problems with her weight. She was not at all fat before the problem started but she was slightly over-weight. She started to distance herself from our other friends and I, as we tried to talk to her and very soon after we drifted apart. Whilst she was very thin and suffering from bulimia and anorexia she started to get a lot of attention from boys, which of course she liked very much and she started to mess around with a number of different people. Whilst going out with one boy, at a party she met Seth and they instantly hit it off and started going out. Being very worried for her health we went to our head of year and she contacted Zara's parents. They had not seen that Zara was ill and were very surprised to get a call from Mrs Hill. Soon after Zara was given help and had to see the school nurse every week and also go to a clinic. People monitored what she ate and she was made to eat lunch. But as Zara's closest friend she told me everything, about how she still made herself sick, and refused to be weighed when she went to her help sessions. Our lives evolved around food as a desperately tried to convince her that she was not fat and tried to get her to have a better attitude towards eating. Soon after, she got better and we didn’t talk about it so much anymore, she gained some weight and went up from 4 1/2 stone to 7 stone in a year, she was happy with Seth and her life was going well again.
      Then during our final GCSE year another friend went to her art teacher and told her that Zara had copied her final GCSE art piece from a book. This of course meant that Zara could of been excluded from school and removed from all her exams, meaning she would of just wasted two years of hard work. The allegations made were of course not true, however they had really upset Zara and all those who loved her. We again went to our head of year but this time she was not so sympathetic. She claimed that the allegations had never been made and that Zara was making it up to gain attention and because she was paranoid as a result of her anorexia. This was totally untrue as there were a number of witnesses. That was when things began to get worse again. None of us were in direct contact with the supposed 'friend' who made the accusation but that only made Zara hate her more.
      Now a few months on I’m writing this post having just returned from a party to celebrate our results, all of us achieved really good grades including Zara. Last night we all got very drunk and it became clear, once again that she needs help. She is disillusioned about her size and wants to loose more weight. She lay on the bed, being sick because of all the alcohol, sobbing and telling me how she makes herself sick and will only eat bread and Ketchup. I think she wants to get better but at the same time wants to be thinner. It didn’t help that, that day she had found porn magazines in her boyfriends drawer with girls who had flat stomachs and hue breasts. Now she thinks that she isn’t good enough for him and is talking of dumping him and seeing another guy we know. She also brought up the fact that he cheated on her about six moths ago. I don't know what to do, I have a really sick friend and I don't know who can help her. She sees her parents as the enemies and cried even harder when I suggested that she talked to them, our head of year hates us all because of the whole art fiasco, and she has us, her friends but we can't do much other than support her. Please help; I just don't want my friend to get sick, like she was before. She needs help, but there doesn't seem to be anywhere to get it. What do I do?
    • Re: Anorexia and Bulimia- help needed fast.

      I'm afraid anorexia is a mental disorder, and thus a psychiatrist is the best person to help.
      You say she weighed in at 4.5 stone, and I don't think I need to tell you how dangerous that is. Anorexia can and very likely will lead to her being permanently brain damaged if you didn't know that. So tell her she should keep going if she wants to end up as a vegetable.

      Eating disorders are very very difficult to treat. If you are really worried about her health you NEED to tell her parents. She could die, no doubt about that.

      If she will refuse to seek help she should be placed in care. If it takes a mental hospital to save her life then that's what is needed.
    • Re: Anorexia and Bulimia- help needed fast.

      You're walking around carrying a big weight on your shoulders. It sounds like your friend is in need of serious help, and as much as you want to support her, the severity of her illness is beyond your ability to help. (No offense, but we're not professionals, right?) You care about her health and safety so I agree with S1919, her parents need to know. If you don't want to be the one who has to pass on that message, please let your principal or guidance counsellor know and they will do their job appropriately. Have you asked your friend how she would feel if her parents were in the know? She may not agree with your choice to "tell" but you simply can't live YOUR life anymore carrying this around. It's a lot of pressure. Finally, ask her this question : how does she see herself in the future? (successes, family, etc). Then ask her how is what she is doing to herself today going to help her reach those goals? Let me know if you need more help : katstwocents at gmail
    • Re: Anorexia and Bulimia- help needed fast.

      Thanks both of you for your advice, I’m aware that my friend is seriously ill and that she needs help but the problem is who to get that help from. There’s not really anybody who to tell in 6th form as we’ve just stared and don’t know any of the adults yet, I mentioned to her that maybe we could talk to her parents about it but she was horrified and cried and begged me not to. She already sees a councillor but Zara tells me how she lies to her about her weight and the food she eats and refuses to be weighed. Any more advice, please?