Not to long ago (I mentioned this in another thread a few days ago) I broke up with my girlfriend of a year and yeah it was pretty much the worst thing ever but needed to be done. But this isn't the first time this has happened and I've tried to end it for good. Because every time I try I end up texting her a day or two later apologizing for whatever it is I said and sort of starting over.. And lately I've been fighting the urge to do so again.

But I'm doing better because I'm starting to really like this other girl, a senior in my spanish class, who I'mnot sure if shes into me or not but she talks to me kind of alot in class and always brings me her fries like food from the restaurant across the street at lunch and just today I asked for her number and she gave it to me and this other girl who sees me talking to her seems to think sh might like me but idk.. but yeah thats a major distraction rom going back to my ex and helps alot.

But then today i found out that my ex was telling people lies and stuff about me and I got extra heated and sent her several angry texts because she also told this on dude I was saying stuff about him and I dont even know the guy and that almost resulted in a fight so I told her to stay out of my life.. yet I find myself in the end caring about her. shes so hard to read too I cant tell if this is just some big manipulation for her and this is what she wanted to happen or if shes hurting as much as I am which is often the case with her.. i can never tell because whenever we even fought WHILE we were together she would surround herelf with other guys and just blot out my existnce which is I guess good in this case but idk..

But anyway I cant seem to take my mind off two things: How I still love my ex and whatnot and wonder if she still cares about me/hates me, is messin with other guys, and similar things.. and the other thing I cant get my mind off of is this new girl, wondering if she likes me, and wondering if I have a chance with her or if I should even bother.. But there is a third thing I guess, something that is recently overwhelming my thoughts lately. I just find myself so lonely, and like it feels like I have no friends when I do (just not many, or very good ones) and how I dont really have a life. I go to school. Then come home and do nothing but think about stuff like this and it makes me miserable and I dont know what to do with that and as melodramatic as it sounds I'm starting to have suicidal thoughts again. Just does anyone have any opinions on this? Think I have a chance with this new girl? What should I do to move on from my ex? What can I do to make myself feel slightly less worthless? or just want to talk? anything is greatly appreciated.
thanks.