Confused, or confusing myself? (Long)

    • Confused, or confusing myself? (Long)

      Hi folks,

      Like half the other people posting here, I have a girl issue (wouldn't call it a problem though!)

      To set up, I am 17, and just finished up my junior year a day ago (except for a couple exams.)

      So, in my science class I have been sitting next to a girl all semester (we did not know each other before we met in that class.) We talk a lot, and became relatively friendly, although we don't see each other much outside of school. By the way, this girl is a senior, going off to college in august. As an added detail, this girl is probably one of the most beautiful I have ever seen--and smart and funny to boot. I guess I developed a (well-hidden) "crush" on her.

      So two days ago, second to last day of school, as I am walking to my last hour class, she yells my name out in the hall, and I turn around and see her break away from talking to some other senior and walk to me. She says something to the effect of her going away to college, and then, unexpectedly, pulls out a sharpie marker. She asks if I have anything to write on, so, not thinking, I offer my arm, and she proceeds to write her number in big purple letters on my arm, and says "Call me sometime".

      After recovering from the slight shock, I became confused. Today I saw her briefly at the AP exam for that class, but didn't get a chance to talk her.

      My problem is that I don't quite know her well enough if that was a hint to call her for a date (or something like that) or if it just meant to keep in touch next year. The more I think about it, the more I confuse myself, and hesitate to call. Part of the doubt is that she is so good looking that she could get any guy in school if she desired...why me (the 5'4", only slightly attractive junior :wink:).?

      Any advice on what to do?
      -Zach

    • Re: Confused, or confusing myself? (Long)

      Shoeboxer wrote:

      Thanks Jelena.

      I've never been in a situation like this before (never gotten an number, really). Getting the # was a confidence boost, but the apprehension and doubt kicked in an hour later...

      Anyone else? All ideas/opinions are appreciated!


      Well, come to think about it, if she DIDN'T want you to call her, she wouldn't go running to you writing her # on your arm with a sharpie, would she :wink:

    • Re: Confused, or confusing myself? (Long)

      Update (or something like that):

      I did not call her today, but out at lunch after my last exam with some friends, and I let it slip to one of my closer friends (who is one of those 20% guys you mentioned in the other thread) that I got her number. He congratulated me, called her "cute" and such, and said I should call her. Then, he says, enthusiastically, that he heard she is "easy", that after prom or something some guy she didn't know all that well took her to his place, and you can fill in the rest (he doesn't know if this happens often with her or not, or if she was drunk or not)--I guess my friend has a different initial goal than I do when calling a girl. I'm a virgin, but I don't believe in abstinence until marriage or anything. But something that casual bothers me somewhat.

      He saw the look on my face, and after I said that I wish he wouldn't have said that, apologizes, and says I should call her anyway...and I know I should. I mean, it doesn't make a difference, does it? I shouldn't be thinking so far ahead, just call her for a date. But it does bother me a little bit...and gives me another reason for hesitation.

      I know that I'm overanalyzing again, but I don't know...I find myself asking if this is the kind of girl I want to be involved with...but then I tell myself that it doesn't matter right now. This just gives me another reason to hesitate, in addition to my doubt over her original message/intentions.

      I know this seems like pointless rambling, because all you nice forum-goers will do is tell me to call her anyway (rightly so, I think). Should I involve my value system? Am I being a judgemental? Or am I just trying to protect myself, and ruining my chances in the process? I wish I had an IQ of 85 for an hour or two just so I could finally ask her out and not think so much. What now?
      -Zach

    • Re: Confused, or confusing myself? (Long)

      Well, I finally called her and asked. Conversation went like so:

      "Hi, Ev (her nickname), this is Zach.

      "Hi Zach!" (very chipper/enthusiastic, as usual)

      "I was thinking of going to the movies on monday night, and I'd really like it if you came with me." (may have been "...like to take you..." or something similar. No actual question though (only implied...not "would you like...")

      "Monday? Let me check... (some noise, maybe checking calendar)...who's going?"

      "It'd be just you and me."

      "(Hesitates for a half-second) Uh (oh?)...well, I have your number, so I'll get back to you. See ya!"--I say "bye" (nothing more), and hang up.



      So now, I think she has mostly made up her mind to say no, and is either embarrassed or trying not to hurt my feelings. I wish she would have taken her time and said no if she meant it, instead of running (figuratively). I guess maybe I assumed too much by her giving me her phone number. Doesn't matter. The ball is in her court, as they say, and I'm trying not to think about it too much. I won't say I'm not disappointed, because I am. It feels bad.

      At least I called, though! Took encouragement from another good friend (and all of you). I'll keep you updated if she ever calls. If not, life goes on.

      EDIT: If she does call, and says she wants to be friends, what should I say? It seems like it would be awkward, and a little bit tortuous if we became friends. But I don't want to be rude (still a nice girl) and burn bridges if I don't need to.
      -Zach

    • Re: Confused, or confusing myself? (Long)

      For one thing, she might have been embarrassed, too. She might have been a little shocked that you asked her to the movies, just like you were shocked that she gave you her number.

      I'd wait it out, and if she doesn't call back, then I wouldn't worry about it. But if she does call back and say she just wants to be friends, just let her know you weren't trying to make it sound like an exclusive date (unless you were). And even if you were, you could always fib and just say that you were trying to get other people to go but no one else could make it haha :]

      Good luck!
      brodie: ladies and gentleman, this tall drink of water headed my way is a pillar of the shopping community who informed me earlier today of a nefarious plan of his to screw my girlfriend in an extremely uncomfortable place
      gil: what, like the back of a volkswagen? -MALLRATS

    • Re: Confused, or confusing myself? (Long)

      Hey dude my advise is........call her and say that "if u hv a prob its ok..." or juz call her and say that u wanted to talk to her in person so if she cud meet u somewhere...juz bout anywhere..it wud b nice.But dont force her to come anywhere.....coz if she ditches u, it'll b u who'll be the loser...and u dont wanna lose a friend!!!
      PS:Try to take hint if she has a bf or not, dont ask directly!!!