General bodily insecurities...

    • General bodily insecurities...

      Hey guys. Before I start, I'd like to tell you a little about myself so you can answer appropriately. I'm a fifteen year-old guy of Iraqi/Austrian descent, born in Israel and currently living in Westchester, NY.

      For as long as I can remember, I've been insecure about my body. I'm really skinny, and I have a bone structure like my dad: slim and athletic. I weigh about 85-90 pounds, but no, I'm not undernourished and I don't have an eating disorder. I eat healthily, but I just don't seem to be able to gain any weight.

      I've always thought that as far as puberty goes, I'm a late bloomer. I got pubic hair about two years ago, I don't have any armpit, chest, or "happy trail" hair to speak of, and unlike a lot of my friends who have jungles on their legs, I have light forests. It may seem petty, but to me it's lack of a sign that I'm becoming a man, and I feel like I'm stuck in limbo between being man and child.

      I have almost no facial hair; whatever I have is wispy and soft. This one is a biggie for me; my father and both my brothers could grow full-blown beards in two weeks if they wanted, I can barely get an invisible mustache going.

      I work out, lifting weights and running under an exercise program prescribed by my gym teacher, and although I'm getting stronger, I always feel like I'm smaller and weaker than all my other friends.

      There's another thing, too. Two weeks or so ago, I noticed that my fingertips were getting this kind of smooth, tough feeling to them. It's strange, I can't really describe it; it's like callouses but nowhere near as rough. That change in the skin has caused me to lose some sensitivity in my fingertips. Anyone else experiencing this? My mother said it was because I'm getting man's hands. I find this difficult to believe.

      Thanks for listening.
    • Re: General bodily insecurities...

      Well all I can really recommend is improving your diet. Taking in more calories and proteins. Continue with your gym exercises. Though you might want to ask someone else than your gym teacher. They usually don't have sufficient experience in giving advice to people when it comes to gym training (not in all cases of course). And also, how old are you?
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    • Re: General bodily insecurities...

      What you need is a change to what you consider a 'man'. You're stuck on the psychology that a man by definition must be full bodied and heavy in hair as I know many of your descent tend to be. However that is simply not the case.

      You must come to understand that what makes a man a man is his ability to take responsibility for himself and for others, for his inner strength in facing adversity. Your body will develop in time though you may have a general less physical build then the other members of your family it does not mean that you're any less male and in fact can end up being more male in terms of your psychological and social growth then them. It's the contest of mind vs body and in the end the body is not as important as the mind, because the mind governs the body AND the world around us while the body simply houses the mind and interacts with the world at the mind's discretion.

      As for a physical comparison on strength and endurance I'd like you to consider the body of a wrestler or Football Linemen as opposed to the body of say a martial artist or boxer. The former need a lot of weight, they require heavy muscles and huge bulk to create their force and are often times encumbered by this, they are clumbsy and slow moving. While the martial artist and boxer on the other hand prize muscles they prize more the muscles of the legs, able to be fleet of foot, quicker then larger opponents they pack less physical push but are able to use a higher degree of dexterity in their fighting styles.

      So do not devalue the lithe body that can as they say "float like a butterfly and sting like a bee".

      As for your hands you are taking poor care of them and engaging in physical (or at least heavy handed) activities. Skin will harden in response to heavy activity usage to better protect us, it can become as rough as sand paper if you let it. This can be advantagous to people who do heavy physical activity like lumberjacks and soldiers but can also be highly detrimental to those who need the sensations in their fingers such as for sewing, massaging or just the gentle touch of a lover. If you'd like to restore your hand look into moisturizing lotions to return oils to your hands and with time they will soften.
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    • Re: General bodily insecurities...

      narchitect wrote:

      Hey guys. Before I start, I'd like to tell you a little about myself so you can answer appropriately. I'm a fifteen year-old guy of Iraqi/Austrian descent, born in Israel and currently living in Westchester, NY.

      For as long as I can remember, I've been insecure about my body. I'm really skinny, and I have a bone structure like my dad: slim and athletic. I weigh about 85-90 pounds, but no, I'm not undernourished and I don't have an eating disorder. I eat healthily, but I just don't seem to be able to gain any weight.

      I've always thought that as far as puberty goes, I'm a late bloomer. I got pubic hair about two years ago, I don't have any armpit, chest, or "happy trail" hair to speak of, and unlike a lot of my friends who have jungles on their legs, I have light forests. It may seem petty, but to me it's lack of a sign that I'm becoming a man, and I feel like I'm stuck in limbo between being man and child.

      I have almost no facial hair; whatever I have is wispy and soft. This one is a biggie for me; my father and both my brothers could grow full-blown beards in two weeks if they wanted, I can barely get an invisible mustache going.

      I work out, lifting weights and running under an exercise program prescribed by my gym teacher, and although I'm getting stronger, I always feel like I'm smaller and weaker than all my other friends.

      There's another thing, too. Two weeks or so ago, I noticed that my fingertips were getting this kind of smooth, tough feeling to them. It's strange, I can't really describe it; it's like callouses but nowhere near as rough. That change in the skin has caused me to lose some sensitivity in my fingertips. Anyone else experiencing this? My mother said it was because I'm getting man's hands. I find this difficult to believe.

      Thanks for listening.


      Firstly, let me say that I believe we were created with a bit of insecurity about our appearance, to help keep us from becoming overconfident. now, there is nothing wrong with you, and I envy you in some ways... I hate my armpit hair, (and just about all the other hair below my neck) and personally would like to get rid of it. don't worry about your physical strength or appearance, because as soon as the rest of your puberty hits, as long as you keep up with the exercise regimen, you will tone really easily. about facial hair- I wasn't allowed to shave until a month before I turned 16... o don't mind facial hair, but it will come when it comes. Don't worry about it, because eventually it will come in and you wont be able to keep it off for long. There are many others in your situation, and late blooming, though embarrassing, Isn't a permanent problem. Hope this helps
    • Re: General bodily insecurities...

      narchitect wrote:

      Hey guys. Before I start, I'd like to tell you a little about myself so you can answer appropriately. I'm a fifteen year-old guy of Iraqi/Austrian descent, born in Israel and currently living in Westchester, NY.

      For as long as I can remember, I've been insecure about my body. I'm really skinny, and I have a bone structure like my dad: slim and athletic. I weigh about 85-90 pounds, but no, I'm not undernourished and I don't have an eating disorder. I eat healthily, but I just don't seem to be able to gain any weight.

      I've always thought that as far as puberty goes, I'm a late bloomer. I got pubic hair about two years ago, I don't have any armpit, chest, or "happy trail" hair to speak of, and unlike a lot of my friends who have jungles on their legs, I have light forests. It may seem petty, but to me it's lack of a sign that I'm becoming a man, and I feel like I'm stuck in limbo between being man and child.

      I have almost no facial hair; whatever I have is wispy and soft. This one is a biggie for me; my father and both my brothers could grow full-blown beards in two weeks if they wanted, I can barely get an invisible mustache going.

      I work out, lifting weights and running under an exercise program prescribed by my gym teacher, and although I'm getting stronger, I always feel like I'm smaller and weaker than all my other friends.

      There's another thing, too. Two weeks or so ago, I noticed that my fingertips were getting this kind of smooth, tough feeling to them. It's strange, I can't really describe it; it's like callouses but nowhere near as rough. That change in the skin has caused me to lose some sensitivity in my fingertips. Anyone else experiencing this? My mother said it was because I'm getting man's hands. I find this difficult to believe.

      Thanks for listening.


      Thanks for posting that. Its really good to know I'm not alone. Though some of the things are in reverse. I got to puberty really early which everyone thinks is great but I found it really embarrassing in the showers. And though I'm tall I'm really skinny which I HATE. And another embarrasing thing is that I'm not circumcised and I hate my penis the way it is. I just hate my body.
    • Re: General bodily insecurities...

      Puberty is not a race. Some people go through it in different times and there is no problem with it. Although I would be carefull while lifting weights. Since we are teenagers our bones are still developing and lifting too much can stun your growth. Thats what I have heard anyway.
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