Help With Parents

    • Help With Parents

      Ok, so I got a bit of a story to tell, I understand if you don't want to read it all, in which case, just scroll down, I have a mini summary there at the bottom.

      So I'm currently 17 and a half, I have my license, go to a very small private school and get decent grades (A's and B's with the exception of AP calculus, which I am getting a D in right now, but my grade is slowly going up.). I have always been a little shy until middle of last year when I got to be friends with most the seniors at my school and attended a party or two. My parents are not the type to just let me go over another person's house without first practically interrogating their parents and making sure their parents are home when I'll be there. Thus going to a party for me is quite difficult. Either way, now I'm much more out going and quite popular in my school. The thing is, about 6 months ago (a few weeks after the start of the school year) my mother, with no warning of any kind, waited until I was out of the house and completely tossed my room. She found a small stash of weed I had, along with a home made bong and hand carved pipe. I had started smoking on occasion at the end of last school year and continued through the summer. This meant no more privileges of any kind for me. my parents took away my license, notified my school, notified my scout troop (I'm a boy scout of 11 years and am almost an eagle), did not allow me to close my door, or be anywhere alone at all for that matter.
      I have now been clean for approximately 6 months, which my parents know for a fact, for they have given me roughly bi-weekly urine tests since they found it. As a senior, I had privileges to go off campus at my school with parental permission during lunch and free periods. That is no longer true since my parents revoked the permission. I am allowed to still work towards my eagle with scouts, but my scoutmaster (a good friend) says I'm lucky that they're letting me do that.
      Having it been 6 months since I was caught, and being a senior in high school nearing the end of the year, I'm obviously eager for some freedom. My parents are still the same way, I never go out with friends by ourselves, for my parents don't allow it, I am now allowed to drive, but only with one of my parents in the car, as if I only had my permit. I am now allowed to close my door, but they've taken the TV and computer (both of which I personally bought with money I earned from working last summer) which were in my room, so I have no real reason to be in there anymore.
      My main issue right now, is I want to borrow the car. my parents originally said when they found my weed that I wasn't going to be able to drive by myself with their car for one year (a little harsh, considering a year from that time I'll be well into my first semester at college...). I asked today, for the first time since the punishment, in a polite, calm manner, and my mom's instant reaction was "I don't think so! your year isn't up!". All I want is to occasionally go out with a friend and be able to do it on my time, when I want and not have to rely on my mother or father to drive me and pick me up. you know, feel some sort of freedom and be able to do something on my own. Its truly upsetting, in fact, this should probably be in the venting section, but I don't know. I just can't wait to get away. many days I would gladly stay at school longer and not have to go home. Its not that my parents do anything to really hurt me or are rude to me, I just can't stand to be around them, and I feel like a jerk for it.



      So way up before this, I said I'd have a summary, so here it is:

      My parents caught me with weed 6 months ago and gave me many punishments that include but are not limited to : 1 year no driving by myself, informing my school of the issue, informing my scout troop of the issue, no closed doors in the house, no being alone at all at home to this day. What I want, is to be able to borrow the car, and go to the movies, or go to a friends house, or anything really, and drive by myself. I'm 17 and a half.

      I guess anything really would be nice...
      thanks all.
    • Re: Help With Parents

      Stand up to your parents, tell them you have learned your lesson, and pursuade them to trust you again. They should realise what you are saying, also tell them that you ARE 17 1/2, not 10 1/2

      TBH i think your parents are being WAY too harsh, a few weeks maybe, but not that long.......Id hate it if my parents did this

      Just tell them straight, and dont be afraid to do it
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    • Re: Help With Parents

      not to sound like I'm dismissing what your saying, but I've tried that before.. It usually ends up going bad.. my mother doesn't like it when I challenge her at all, and usually 'standing up to her' (which btw, my dad would just let me go out and be with my friends if he had his way, but not to put this in a derogatory manner, but he's been basically brain washed into being my mom's b**ch) ends up in a large argument, with a worse punishment. so I have to be afraid, there's something for me to lose, and they pretty much control my life for the next 6-7 months..
    • Re: Help With Parents

      1.)Try to find a job.

      2.)When you turn 18, and graduate high school, move out.

      I did that, except my parents are paying for my rent as I also can't get a job.

      Your life will change dramatically once you turn 18 and move out.. and start college..
      Nice guys talk because they have something to say; pick-up artists talk because they have to say something.
    • Re: Help With Parents

      thanks for the advice.. but I've already been 'biding my time' for a while now. I don't want to just move out, I cant do that to my parents. my sister did that and disowned our family all together and we gone through a lot of hell with that (she's 21 turning 22). I dislike my parents soo much, but I can't do something like that to them. or maybe I can, I don't know, thats easier said than done. if I moved out I know my parents would not help support me, so I'd need a job that paid enough to live off of, and with only a high school education, thats hard to do on such short notice when I plan to go to college in the fall.
    • Re: Help With Parents

      Tarnation wrote:

      if I moved out I know my parents would not help support me, so I'd need a job that paid enough to live off of, and with only a high school education, thats hard to do on such short notice when I plan to go to college in the fall.

      If you're going to move out and work and pay rent and college tuition, you may want to consider working full time and holding off college... or part-time college (taking 1-2 classes when you're not conflicting with work).

      Neal C.
      Nice guys talk because they have something to say; pick-up artists talk because they have to say something.
    • Re: Help With Parents

      my grandfather was incredibly nice and left me $60,000, well, left my parents that money, with instruction that its to pay for my college education, and my parents are more than happy to give me that money to pay for school, but only for school. like I said, its not like life at home is completely horrible, they don't abuse me or anything like that, its just frustrating, and I need like a project to work on, something I can do about my situation right now. I have something I want (to borrow the car..) and I just don't know how to get it. you know my situation from the essay above, and I appreciate the first suggestion of standing up to my mother, but I don't know, or think that will work. so yea, I don't know, just self pity I guess then.
    • Re: Help With Parents

      I would say that you should be extra good for a while, pull good grades, help out around the house, be nice and respectful to parents and what not; and maybe once you've hit the 6th month mark. Talk to your parents about lessening the punishment; and see where that goes.

      Remember, they're only looking out and want the best for you. (:
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