Fallen in love...for real

    • Fallen in love...for real

      Okay so, I have known this girl for I dunno...since grade 6 and we're in grade 11 now, so I guess 5 or 6 years. I don't know what to say...I don't know I just like her, or if I'm in love with her, cause I've liked/loved her since grade 6. We're like best friends, but I don't wanna ruin it by telling her something like this. I know this sounds like a T.V. show but it's the truth.

      She just makes me feel so good inside. When I see her walking towards me, I get these butterfly feeling in my stomach and it always gets harder for me to talk to her. I can't look at her now without smiling or staring for too long. It's really hard to explain, but anyone who has been in the same situation will know what I'm talking about.

      So over the years I think that we've gotten a bit closer as in, doing more things together (with other friends obviously) and I have a lot of fun when she's there. I don't know if she likes me though. Some of the things she does would make someone think that she does like me, but I'm still not so sure.

      Some of the things she does are:
      - pokes me a lot
      - laughs at all my really bad jokes
      - crosses her legs towards me
      - doesn't move away when she "accidentally" touches me
      - and doesn't really ever seem to get tired of talking to me, and pays attention and looks into my eyes while I'm talking (although I bare notice because I'm scared to look her in the eyes)
      - etc....

      This could all be signs that she likes me but I'm not sure if she's doing it because she likes me, but because she is just comfortable around me since we've known each other for very long time.

      I see her everyday, and everyday I get more and more flustered around her. It's just a feeling that I can't explain.

      My only real concern, which is also the one that I spend sleepless nights over is that, she doesn't feel the same way and gets scared. I really, really don't want to end our friendship after so many years. I don't even think we've been through one vacation or holiday without seeing each other at some gathering at least 3 times.

      I'm sure this has happened to a lot of people but, ever since the middle of grade 6, many people have seen us together and say, "Hey, you guys should go out." or something like, "Are you guys dating?"
      This makes me very nervous because I don't want to blurt out an answer that will send her a message that I don't like her. But sometimes she blurts out an answer that says just that, and sometimes she hesitates and takes a second to answer. That makes me feel very hopeful that she at least likes me enough to maybe go out on one date with me.

      One date is not enough for me though. This is a girl that I think I can see myself spending the rest of my life with. (Sounds kinda creepy).

      GOD, why is it so hard to talk to her now. I never had a problem with it before. I've liked her since grade 6 but, just recently going into my second semester of grade 11, I have started feeling more and more nervous around her. It takes all my will power to just look at her while she's talking to me. I mean, I'm getting all these good feelings while just typing about her, imagine what I'm like in person talking about her.

      Again I say that I know this sounds like a corny sit-com, but this is all true. This is all from the bottom of my heart.

      This is just the girl I love. She just doesn't know that I love her...yet.

      Another concern has just crossed my attention. I think that I'm most afraid of is rejection. Many "experts" say that if you don't ask any girls out on dates because you fear rejection, you will end up being alone. Well, I have a very good reason, which I'm sure a lot of other people have. This girl, who I've known for like, 6 years, is my best friend and is like a sister to me. I would do anything for her. She's just so smart and...beautiful. If I could dream of the perfect woman, she wouldn't even come close to her. She is the perfect woman for me. We get along great, I don't think ONCE we've had a fight. We've also helped each other during hard times.

      It's just that she's so smart, and knows what to do with her life, and she's going places. And me, I don't know what I'm gonna do. I'm just some average Joe, with average marks that are nothing compared to her. I just think that if God, or whatever entity, likes me enough to let us get married, I want to be able to support her. It doesn't matter if she has a better job than me. Heck it would be even better.

      Just so you guys or girls, I've been smiling the whole time I've been typing this, just from remembering all the good times we have had.

      I REALLY JUST DON'T WANT OUR FRIENDSHIP TO END. I am very honest when I say this. This comes right from the heart. I absolutely think, that there is no other girl, or woman, out there, that I could get along with more, or love more, or think about more than this girl. She means everything to me. I would rather live alone knowing she doesn't love me, and live alone or with someone else and NOT know if she feels the same way.


      I could go on all night talking about her, this girl that I have fallen for.

      I remember one time, at her birthday, last August. After the party was over, and everyone was going home, she started hugging everyone as they left. I don't even know how I felt, it was just the most unbelievable feeling. This was actually the first time I ever hugged her, and I haven't hugged her since. There has been no reason to. I never knew that, just one hug, could make you feel so many things.

      I feel very guilty though, cause in a way, I'm not being fair to her by not telling her how I feel.

      As you probably know by know, we are in grade 11 and prom is coming up next year. I was planning to ask her, but I want her to know what I want to go with her as, someone important and not just as a friend. But I don't want to scare her away from me. They make it so easy on T.V. don't they? They shouldn't be fooling young kids like that. It's definitely not that easy. I mean come on, I've known this girl, and have been in love with this girl for 6 years, and she doesn't even have the slightest idea of how I feel.

      I need to know how to ask her. To tell her how I feel without scaring her away or making her not want to be my friend anymore, because I don't think that I could take something like that.

      I want to tell her before we graduate, because I may not see her again for a long while, and I don't want her to be taken away by someone who doesn't deserve a nice, sweet and kind girl like her.

      This is the first time I have ever talked about her this way, openly. And I'm doing it to total strangers too. WHAT AM I DOING. I must be crazy.

      I must say though, you know how in movies when a guy sees a girl he likes, and then she walks towards him and her hair starts blowing and she gets all shiny? That definitely never happens...at least for me. For me, it's this feeling of like...completion. I feel complete when I'm with her. Feel like I can do anything. I feel like I can fly.

      This is probably the most I have ever written on one person before. This is letting go. Finally after 6 years, I can say something. I hope that someone out there has an answer to my problem.

      If you bothered to read this far, I thank you VERY much. It is greatly appreciated.
      I just...WOW I love this girl so much. Some of you might say, "You're 17 years old, what do you know about love?"

      Well I can tell you this, I may not know much about love, but I do know that I love this person. No one can have this feeling for this long and not be in love I can tell you that.

      I love her very much, I love her more and more everyday. And everyday, she get' more and more radiant when I see her.

      Please, write back to me if you have the time.



      Again I thank you for listening, or in this case reading, what I have to say.

      She takes my breath away. I can't live without her. And I gotta find out if she feels the same way about me. Advice would be nice
    • Re: Fallen in love...for real

      Sometimes the easiest solution is the best. You really should just ask her out sometime. =P The worst case is things will be awkward for a few days, and then it'll be back to normal.

      Oh, and by the way, you CAN be in love at 17. Just don't mix lust and love, like most teens do. ;p I don't think it's lust though.

      Good luck! I'll post more if I can think of anything extra. =)

      Support Leader,
      ~James
      Need help or just want to talk? PM me. :)
      -------------------------------------------------------
      "It's easy to be nice to people you like. But being nice to people you hate, that's a skill. Do it."
    • Re: Fallen in love...for real

      Yeah, the best thing for you to do is tell her how you feel! Or you can go the sneaky way and ask her female friends how they think she feels about you in a not so obvious way. I doubt she'd be sending you all those "signals" if she didn't like you. She'd be workin' way too hard!
    • Re: Fallen in love...for real

      Wow, this was long.

      So you love her.

      Unfortunately, I don't think these signs mean anything significant. It seems, however, that you're too observant and not so vocal when you need to be. Noticing little particular details like she crosses her legs towards you...stop overthinking.

      What you need to do is to tell her. You've been friends for so long, the "being patient until she either develops feelings for you or someone clues her in" tactic just doesn't work. Tell her everything you've written down about your feelings. Make her understand, and she will respond. Just make sure you let her know that you wouldn't want anything to jeopardize your friendship - even if things do get awkward if she doesn't reciprocate, your friendship will not be ruined if you act like nothing abnormal happened. It's in your hands as long as she still wants a friendship. Communicate this effectively.

      Good luck.
      [CENTER][SIZE=4][/SIZE][SIZE=4]
      [/SIZE]
      [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]
      [/CENTER]