I don't know whats wrong with me

    • I don't know whats wrong with me

      i'm 17, male. I feel like, i just look so ugly all the time. and i know i'm not. kind of.

      i look great in some pictures, and when i look in the mirror (with the lights on) i look good. but i feel like i only look good in certain light. i feel ugly all the time because of it. i hate going on video chat websites because i have to be in the bathroom where the lighting is good to make me look good. i don't know what to do. i am so depressed because of my uglyness even though people tell me im cute all the time. i don't feel cute.

      I'm also gay, and my parents don't accept me. they are depressed all the time because of it, and they still love me, but i'm not allowed to have a boyfriend and i'm not allowed to come out to anyone because my parents are worried about my safety and how it will affect my 13 year old sister and 11 year old brother.

      i think they also care about what people would think about their parenting, but they won't say that.

      i really want a boyfriend, i'm super super lonely and i can't find any because i live in murrieta, and this town is just really really super conservative, and all the people that are gay probably aren't even out (like myself) because of all the hate.

      Then, i really really don't have very good friends. i have a couple really good friends, but i don't hang out with them much. and a lot of them don't really like the same stuff as me. I want friends that like the same stuff and the ones that do i always feel are going to make fun of me and call me a poser...

      i just don't know what to do.

      i feel like shit 24/7

      i wouldn't hurt myself.

      but i think if i had someone that loved me and could make me feel better i would be ok.

      but i can't find one.
    • Re: I don't know whats wrong with me

      oh please dont feel that way ok.
      you're special in your own way.
      You should start feeling good about yourself
      be positive.
      let go of the negative vibes.

      you and your parents should
      have an open communication
      let them know what you feel.
      I believe that everything can be patched up
      through proper communication.

      if they are your good friends, then
      try to really get along with them,
      what matters a lot is the quality of friends
      that you have not the quantity.

      someday, someone will cross your way.
      dont be on a hurry. you're stilll young
      and you'll meet many people
      along the way.

      (in my humble opinion)

      God is always with you.

      You can get through that.

      take care and Godbless :)
      <3

      The post was edited 1 time, last by Jamelae ().

    • Re: I don't know whats wrong with me

      So is your skin a bit crappy? is that why you need the lighting?

      Also there is an old saying

      You cant love anybody

      Until you can love yourself

      Have a think, it actally makes you alot more attractive if your confident in your looks.

      Look at the positives, not the negatives, im not a hot guy, i think im average, but i dont put myself down about it, i post pics up of myself all the time, and yeah, you cant expect yourself to look a million dollars all the time, think about celebritys there are always those paparazzi pics of them lookin like shit but other pictures of them looking gorgeous!

      Hope this helps mate
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    • Re: I don't know whats wrong with me

      OK, first of all, Just like everyone says....
      You shouldn't think that you're ugly... You said it yourself... lots of people think you're cute and you feel cute (with the right lighting) so let me tell you now... you CANNOT be cute one moment and be ugly the next or vice versa... at least, not without a big thing like... an accident, major physical changes, .. or... a paperbag... but that's besides my point... lol. Sure some people can look amazing one moment and be "ehh.. alright" the next... But to be considered ugly by the general public... Not really. Plus everyone's beautiful in their own way... :rolleyes:
      I know what you're feeling though... I love some of my pictures, but most of them are an epic fail on my part. and going out with my friends... always makes me feel just "average". (it used to make me feel ugly... but I finally came to terms with the fact that there are people worse-off than myself. Terrible, I know... lol)
      I will share this with you though, I've noticed that no matter what the person looks like, as long as they are confident in themselves, they will always have people interested in dating/talking to them. I know some people who aren't the hottest people I know... nor the cutest, etc. etc. But they went out feeling hot/sexy/cute and there were always at least a couple of people that showed interest. And the people they ended up dating... were usually the ones that made you go "Wow... What is that person doing with her/him?"
      I've tried it myself as well... being confident in myself during a conversation, or while hanging out with people... The result is amazing for such a little change. Have a little confidence in yourself.. If you feel like you're not cute... how will anyone else really think you're cute?

      On to the part that is difficult to address...
      Your parents are protecting your family... (and ok, maybe saving their ego as well). But you did mention you were in a very conservative town... It's not right and it's not fair but it still happens. Violence, verbal abuse, etc etc. against gays happens. And it's not just the person that takes the heat... Family, friends, etc. etc. can become targets as well. At least your parents still love you and accept you and haven't fed you to the dogs so to say.
      But that doesn't mean you shouldn't tell your parents how you feel... Make sure that they know that you understand why they're trying to keep you "safe"... Let them know how it's making you feel and see if there are any compromises.

      As far as meeting new people is concerned.... I have to say.. I've met more / most of my new friends by hanging out with friends I already have. Getting to know your friend's friends usually means you'll meet people who you can get along with... Just because your friend and their friend are buddies doesn't necessarily mean they'll share all of the same interests... After all, you and your friend don't... but it does mean that there's a good chance you'll get along with them and that's the first step to becoming friends/more with someone... Besides, you never know who your friends know... You might meet a special someone... but you'll never be given that opportunity if you're not being social. Don't hide... Just go out there and have fun. :D
      [SIZE=2]~For long you live, and high you fly, and smiles you give, and tears you cry,
      and all you touch and all you see, is all your life will
      ALWAYS be...:p
      [/SIZE]
    • Re: I don't know whats wrong with me

      CrazyLilAznChik wrote:

      OK, first of all, Just like everyone says....
      You shouldn't think that you're ugly... You said it yourself... lots of people think you're cute and you feel cute (with the right lighting) so let me tell you now... you CANNOT be cute one moment and be ugly the next or vice versa... at least, not without a big thing like... an accident, major physical changes, .. or... a paperbag... but that's besides my point... lol. Sure some people can look amazing one moment and be "ehh.. alright" the next... But to be considered ugly by the general public... Not really. Plus everyone's beautiful in their own way... :rolleyes:
      I know what you're feeling though... I love some of my pictures, but most of them are an epic fail on my part. and going out with my friends... always makes me feel just "average". (it used to make me feel ugly... but I finally came to terms with the fact that there are people worse-off than myself. Terrible, I know... lol)
      I will share this with you though, I've noticed that no matter what the person looks like, as long as they are confident in themselves, they will always have people interested in dating/talking to them. I know some people who aren't the hottest people I know... nor the cutest, etc. etc. But they went out feeling hot/sexy/cute and there were always at least a couple of people that showed interest. And the people they ended up dating... were usually the ones that made you go "Wow... What is that person doing with her/him?"
      I've tried it myself as well... being confident in myself during a conversation, or while hanging out with people... The result is amazing for such a little change. Have a little confidence in yourself.. If you feel like you're not cute... how will anyone else really think you're cute?



      Okay, I know this wasn't written for me, but wauw, I think it kinda helped me? I haven't even been on this Board in an hour, and still, I feel like I'm already much happier? Thanks :)
    • Re: I don't know whats wrong with me

      I would encourage you to become active, no matter the activity. In this case, running, swimming, competitions. All of which have been proven by scientists to reinvigorate people. (Giving the "new life")
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      [CENTER]We're the first to fight, the last to leave. We're your worst nightmare, and your greatest blessing. We are the US Marines!
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    • Re: I don't know whats wrong with me

      About your looks...you'll get used to them and realize...oh shiet.. I look great.... For me...I went like 4 or 5 years of my life thinking I looked ugly....I avoided cameras like crazy....and yea... now I look in the mirror and can't help but smile... it happens... like to Cory Matthews...Boy Meets World.....

      and about being gay and wanting some new friends... well be gay and get new friends... don't see what else to say....oh yeah, the title of the thread... there's nothing wrong with you. Many of our worries are things we manifest ourselves... don't create your own problems... deal with the obstacles presented to you
    • Re: I don't know whats wrong with me

      hey andy, the names brendan..

      your defonately stuck between a rock and a hard place here.. you need to talk to someone about it.. you said you dont realy have any close friends.. keep looking.. i didnt think i did till i almost threw them away.. sometimes the people you've never spoken to before become your best friends.. that was true of me..

      as for your sexuality.. ive had serious problems with mine lately.. both from others and myself.. homosexuality is generaly more accepted now than ever and im sure your parents are over reacting.. i dont realy know what to tell you about comming out, but it sure has helped me.. just make sure you do it the right way.. you cant take back what you say, but dont be paranoid about it either, talk to the right people about it and im sure you'll be fine.. as cliche as it sounds the school councillor is great help, second only to friends.

      your looks on the other hand.. well i have a philosophy.. everything is a matter of personal opinion. your looks included.. im sure your beautiful.. heck everyone is, so stop beating yourself up over nothing.. you said it yourself you look good..

      if you want someone to talk to about anything im here send me a pm or msn message, im always here for someone in need.
      this signature is the one i used when i signed up for teenhut when i was in what... year 8? thats 4 years ago... god my graphical skills sucked!
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