I'm straight... right?

  • I'm straight... right?

    Ok..so I've been searching around for a way to anonymously get some advice on something that happened to me a few days ago..and this seems like it'd be a good place to do it..

    to start, I have nothing against gays and I'm not homophobic..

    but this weekend, saturday night more specifically, I went to a friend of mine's birthday party..

    I had a lot of beer..probably at least 9 or 10 [as far as I can remember]..and I had a drink called "adios motherfxcker" [it really holds true to it's name]

    and one of the last things I remember is all of us getting into the jacuzzi, and a girl that I had been interested in totally blowing me off and hooking up with some other guy..

    now, in our circle of friends..we have this guy who is gay, and very out of the closet..
    I'm cool with him, although he always comes on to me..and I've had to tell him countless times to be more respectful that I'm not gay..

    but on this particular night, I ended up alone in the jacuzzi with him and another guy friend of mine [who is also straight]
    and all I can remember is that he left for some reason..
    and the gay friend of mine started touching me and trying to grab my junk..and I just kept laughing and pushing him away..[ I don't know why I didn't react differently to that..feel like a moron..]

    anyway..
    so the other kid never came back..and it ended up just being him and I alone..

    I remember him asking me to show him my junk..over and over..almost begging me..
    for some reason, I thought it was funny..I was laughing at everything that night..idk why..

    when I drink, I get extremely carefree..I just want to laugh and be happy..
    as a joke.. I showed him my junk... that's something I KNOW I would of never done sober..I don't know WHY I did it that night..regardless of the alcohol..I regret it..

    anyway.. so as I showed it to him, he asked if he could touch it..blah blah blah..just typical requests from a horny gay guy I guess..

    and yea.. I don't remember what I said to him after that..I think I just pulled me shorts back up and sat back down..

    but I remember him telling me that him and the guy who had been in the jacuzzi with us earlier [john] had let him give him a blowjob earlier that night..
    and he swore by it..and he started telling me about all of these other guy friends of mine who he had sucked off before..but I know that these guys arent gay..or at least I thought I knew..

    anway..
    so he kept giving me these wild stories..and, I don't know WHY..or HOW he convinced me..but I let him suck me off..
    and I regret it SO much..
    I feel ashamed of myself..and I have been extremely depressed since it happened..

    the next morning I couldn't even look at him..and I haven't even had the nerve to tell him not to tell anyone..

    I don't know what to do..

    I've always had this weird curiousity towards other guy friends of mine..
    I've never wanted to confront myself about it..or even act upon these feelings..

    but I KNOW I'm not gay..
    I mean, I think I do..
    I would never want to take one up the a** or give it up the a**

    It's just not who I am..
    but I've always been the kind of guy who peeks in the locker rooms..or wonders if the guy next to me is bigger than me..

    I feel disgusted with myself..and I'm wondering at this point, from a 3rd party view, what other's opinion might be on this..

    am I gay?
    am I bi?

    I don't want to be either..
    but I can't keep denying this sexual curiosity I have for other men..

    give me an honest opinion..I'd appreciate it greatly..

    thanks.
    -annonymous

  • Re: I'm straight... right?

    You could be Bi-curious.. You may not have feelings for other guys but you are really interested in the physical aspects of other guys. Which is perfectly normal. :). You do not have to be ashamed of yourself, its a perfectly normal thing to be going through, especially through your teens.

    We cannot decide for you if you are Bi or Gay however, its something you need to figure out for yourself. if you haven't been thinking about guys for long you might feel weird about it, it could just be a phase, and if it isn't, you should hopefully become more comfortable with it later on..

    Hope this helps :)
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  • Re: I'm straight... right?

    thanks I really appreciate that input..trust me, It feels very reassuring to hear something like that..

    but I mean, is it normal to have that kind of experience with another guy? considering the fact that I consider myself to be straight..is it even normal for a guy my age to have that kind of experience with a guy?

  • Re: I'm straight... right?

    Stolen from an older post of mine:

    ok, heres the deal.
    Looking back at the memories of my life, from the time when i was as young as 3 or so, i started to just notice males than females. I said some things to my mom at that age about guys and "down there" that make me embarrassed as hell to think about them now, but basically it involved an attraction & desire for boys and their goods. So basically, i guess i shoulda known.

    i dont choose to be what i am (bi, but i lean towards the guys), in fact, id love to be straight. it would be just so much easier, and "normal", whatever that means. but, i am what i am, so i choose to not only accept it, but I have a great time being (safely) involved with other guys. Sure, people can (and do) judge me all they want, but if they want to judge me because of my sexual desire, then i dont want to be friends with someone that shallow.

    i still want kids, but i like guys more than i do girls. so, either im gonna have to make a decision somewhere along the line, or find an open relationship. but im 17! im not lookin to have kids, and im guessing since youre in a Teen forum youre not either. Cross that bridge when you get there.

    now, if you dont want to be gay because of that whole image & lifestyle, thats a bad reason to avoid it. Im straight acting: i work in a hardware store, i snowboard & skateboard, i do not have a rainbow sticker on my car, and im set to inherit 60 acres of wine grapes that i would personally farm. however: i enjoy shopping, i love fruity drinks, and my guilty pleasure is Desperate Housewives.

    my advice, bottom line:
    If you want to be straight, then have at it. be straight. Nobody can tell you differently. The tough part is going to be convincing your body that you are turned on by boobies and not a guys package. you cant bullshit your body like that, sorry. (UPDATE: prom was this last weekend. my date was beautiful, and i hope she had as great of a time as i did. however, i didnt pop a boner once, during 3 hours of sweaty, highschool, orgy- freak dancing. it was horrible. i felt so bad for her)i tried! and it was a waste. i missed out on some cute guys during that period too... and the worst part is that i had a voice in the back of my head screaming at me the entire time "YOURE GAY!", but i chose to ignore it, and thats how i ended up unhappy and without a relationship. Now, yea, ive admitted it to myself and im out to the people who would care, and im slowly working on my family. its not what i would ideally want for myself, but im happier as a whole, so i have no regrets.

    if you do discover you are checkin out hot guys, i would pick a very close female friend that you know 200% will be accepting, and who is also VERY trustworthy and tell her before anyone else. then, at school you two can notice the cute guys together and it will help you become more comfortable with yourself. This has proven to be a priceless positive influence for me, and would suggest it to any guy who has these feelings.

    No matter if you are straight or gay- BE SAFE.

    and good luck!
    if you need any other advice, drop me a line.

    EDIT: i saw ur response to the first person, and i just want to say, ive been with 8 guys. 4 are "straight", 3 are gay, and 1 was bi. so idk what to make of that either....
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    The post was edited 1 time, last by kloppenator: extra stuff! ().

  • Re: I'm straight... right?

    You could very well be bi-curious. Though checking out other guys is normal (if you aren't feeling sexual feelings when doing so). I tend to compare a lot too.

    Though I'd never do what you did. Sorry, just had to be said.
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  • Re: I'm straight... right?

    First off, the fact that the gay fella took advantage of you like that is sad. But should reming you to be careful drinking alchohol.

    Secondly, imo i dont think you should label yourself anything. You dont need to be anything. It doesnt change you or make you anyone else.

    However, i know a lot of people like to think of themselves as something. So, imho i think your straight. Maybe Bi-curious. But, tbh, none of us could define your sexuality. Only you could. Do you want to experiment? If you do its nothing to be ashamed of. If not, then thats ok too.
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  • Re: I'm straight... right?

    The alcohol brought out your true self but doesn't let you have total control over what you are doing. BTW that's way to much to drink, be careful. Alcohol impairs you... Your gay friend was just using the situation to his advantage, not getting as totally blitzed as the others and therefore has all these 'conquests'. It is like a straight guy going after the girls. He is apparently pretty good, so you shouldn't look at all the other guys as gay, just because they let him do it one time as a teen. That's a pretty hard mark. Limit yourself to 2-3 beers next time and stay in control and perhaps see how you feel and what you want to do without being so toasted.

  • Re: I'm straight... right?

    There are a few things that might 'label' you as a gay person, but the real question is this: Did you enjoy it, and are you 'in love' with the guy who gave you the bj? If you have feelings for him, and you are masturbating when you think about him, I would say there is a gay side to you.

    If you are gay, you are a lucky guy. Same is true if you are straight. You could just be a guy with raging hormones who would enjoy sex with others of the same or different sex. Don't let yourself get frustrated trying to 'label' yourself. Just be you...

  • Re: I'm straight... right?

    i dont think ur gay for what happened at the party, cuz really u were taken advantage of while under the influence...so unless u enjoyed it, i dont think u need to be worried...as for the peeping in the locker room, its normal as most guys are self concious bout their shlong size and its a natural reaction to look to find out if urs is a normal size. again, as long as u dont get off on it, ur fine dude. just think about how much u love tits and pussy, and u can rest easy :cool:
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    The post was edited 1 time, last by The Italian ().

  • Re: I'm straight... right?

    Dude,,, u got sucked on, thats awesome. your friend took advantage of ya, thats not as awesome, but not so bad. Dont shut him out cause of it. Maybe he was really messed up too and coudlnt wait any longer to get some. guys get taken advantage like that all the time in that situation. just be glad you got sucked and move on

  • Re: I'm straight... right?

    I think you're just letting this get to your head. It's normal to size other males up, and compare with yourself. It's being human. They are your competitors "out there".

    Now for the BJ...it doesn't make you gay. The alcohol crippled your judgement. Don't let this get to you. It'll be fine.

    It's a normal thing.

  • Re: I'm straight... right?

    annonymous wrote:

    Ok..so I've been searching around for a way to anonymously get some advice on something that happened to me a few days ago..and this seems like it'd be a good place to do it..

    to start, I have nothing against gays and I'm not homophobic..

    but this weekend, saturday night more specifically, I went to a friend of mine's birthday party..

    I had a lot of beer..probably at least 9 or 10 [as far as I can remember]..and I had a drink called "adios motherfxcker" [it really holds true to it's name]

    and one of the last things I remember is all of us getting into the jacuzzi, and a girl that I had been interested in totally blowing me off and hooking up with some other guy..

    now, in our circle of friends..we have this guy who is gay, and very out of the closet..
    I'm cool with him, although he always comes on to me..and I've had to tell him countless times to be more respectful that I'm not gay..

    but on this particular night, I ended up alone in the jacuzzi with him and another guy friend of mine [who is also straight]
    and all I can remember is that he left for some reason..
    and the gay friend of mine started touching me and trying to grab my junk..and I just kept laughing and pushing him away..[ I don't know why I didn't react differently to that..feel like a moron..]

    anyway..
    so the other kid never came back..and it ended up just being him and I alone..

    I remember him asking me to show him my junk..over and over..almost begging me..
    for some reason, I thought it was funny..I was laughing at everything that night..idk why..

    when I drink, I get extremely carefree..I just want to laugh and be happy..
    as a joke.. I showed him my junk... that's something I KNOW I would of never done sober..I don't know WHY I did it that night..regardless of the alcohol..I regret it..

    anyway.. so as I showed it to him, he asked if he could touch it..blah blah blah..just typical requests from a horny gay guy I guess..

    and yea.. I don't remember what I said to him after that..I think I just pulled me shorts back up and sat back down..

    but I remember him telling me that him and the guy who had been in the jacuzzi with us earlier [john] had let him give him a blowjob earlier that night..
    and he swore by it..and he started telling me about all of these other guy friends of mine who he had sucked off before..but I know that these guys arent gay..or at least I thought I knew..

    anway..
    so he kept giving me these wild stories..and, I don't know WHY..or HOW he convinced me..but I let him suck me off..
    and I regret it SO much..
    I feel ashamed of myself..and I have been extremely depressed since it happened..

    the next morning I couldn't even look at him..and I haven't even had the nerve to tell him not to tell anyone..

    I don't know what to do..

    I've always had this weird curiousity towards other guy friends of mine..
    I've never wanted to confront myself about it..or even act upon these feelings..

    but I KNOW I'm not gay..
    I mean, I think I do..
    I would never want to take one up the a** or give it up the a**

    It's just not who I am..
    but I've always been the kind of guy who peeks in the locker rooms..or wonders if the guy next to me is bigger than me..

    I feel disgusted with myself..and I'm wondering at this point, from a 3rd party view, what other's opinion might be on this..

    am I gay?
    am I bi?

    I don't want to be either..
    but I can't keep denying this sexual curiosity I have for other men..

    give me an honest opinion..I'd appreciate it greatly..

    thanks.
    -annonymous


    from your story, i think you're totally straight. it's normal that you're curious about some guys and sometimes curious about other guys' dicks. that's completely normal.

    dont worry, you're just as straight as any guy can be. and that 1 time oral sex that the gay guy gave u, was just a fun experience so dont let it screw u up.

    as long as in your mind, u want to be with girls, then you're straight.

    but be careful when fooling around with gay guys, it may end up quite ugly.


    but i dont blame your gay guy friend either. you got drunk and vulnerable, it's your responsibility.

    i'm gay btw, in case anyone wonders.