Why am I always so miserable?

    • Why am I always so miserable?

      Ok, I don't even know why I'm doing this, lol. I'm tired of keeping all of this to myself, so I'd rather at least tell this to a bunch of people who don't know who I am and maybe find out if anyone else feels similar to me so here's the scoop: I hate my life...even though I really shouldn't. I have always been lucky in ways...I made it through a tornado that destroyed my home with me in it without having a scratch myself, I always made good grades, I sorta like myself in some ways, I still continue to make good grades as a new pre med student. Sounds lucky..I SHOULD be at least partially happy, but I'm not. My dad left when I was young and never wanted to be a part of my life. I had no friends in school because I was so quiet (I HATE the fact that I'm so quiet!), and when things would happen, I had no one to talk to. My first crush that I ever had died of cancer and no one knew how upset I was. I have honestly never felt like anyone cared about me, but yet I would try to do anything I could to help others because it made me feel good about myself and that was all I had going for me. I joined an explorer post for a fire department and loved helping people, and I am now pre med and hoping I can help people in the future but I have never had even a single girlfriend and I continue to be miserable. I have one friend now..finally, but I can't even enjoy that because I'm so afraid of losing her. I'm afraid I may do the same thing if I ever get a girlfriend. I should be happy with my friend because I've always thought "if only I had someone who cared about me I'll be happy", but I'm not, and I'm always wondering why on earth she even cares anything about me...I'm honestly afraid I may have been miserable for so long that I'm incapable of even being happy with my life anymore. What if I actually GET a girlfriend and marry and all that but am so afraid of something happening to her or divorce that I can't enjoy it? I can't figure out what's wrong with me. It's not that my life has been all 100% bad and stuff...it's just that I'm so sad and lonely for some reason. I would NEVER commit suicide, but I sometimes wish I would just die so I don't have to be so miserable.

      Post was edited 1 time, last by D-Man ().

    • Re: Why am I always so miserable?

      Hi :) I'm guessing you're a teenager, so all I can say is that now you're getting older, at this time in life, people start to think much more about things - sometimes too much. And it seems you've had a somewhat unfortunate life, which doesn't mix well with a teenager's temperament. I think it's probably normal, and you should be okay eventually :) Just try to do things that will make you happier, and perhaps try making some new friends.
      Make sure you hold on to the friend you already have - you'll regret losing her. Don't be so paranoid that you're going to though. If she's a real friend then she'll understand :) Maybe you could tell her how you feel?
      As for your father...well, I'm the same. Mine left once when I was two, then came back just before I was five. On my fifth birthday, we were all at a party and he left. We got back home. He had left, and stoleneverything, and I mean everything, out of the house. Didn't even leave us the price of a meal.
      So I know how you feel there. There's always that "what if", but eventually you'll get over it. He left you when you were young, so at least you didn't get the chance to bond, which would have made it more difficult.
      Hope you manage to cheer up soon :) It'll be alright in the end - trust me, I know.
      [LEFT][SIZE=4]My mind turns to metal, its gears are turning,[/SIZE][/LEFT]
      [LEFT][SIZE=4]And my sanity withers and dies.[/SIZE][/LEFT]
      [LEFT][SIZE=4]This world all around me, it's bitter and twisted;[/SIZE][/LEFT]
      [LEFT][SIZE=4]Reality, madness or lies?[/SIZE][/LEFT]
    • Re: Why am I always so miserable?

      I think you should try talking to a counselor or something, they can help you more than we ever could.
      It might not sound like a fun thing to do, but if it can change how you're feeling then it'll be worth it.
      [CENTER][FONT="System"]:) I can't help from just smilin' [COLOR="Orange"]when that damn sun is shinin'[/COLOR] :)
    • Re: Why am I always so miserable?

      This is a tough one, but i'll try to help. Just so you know, i myself have been working to improve my life for some time now, and this is why i'm trying to help you.

      OK first, why do you need someone else to care for you? How about you care for yourself? Maybe if you cared more for yourself, you would'nt need others to do it.

      Second, why should you not hate your life? If you hate your life, there are reasons for it. Just because by others standards you should be happy does not mean you are. Just accept that you are not liking your life and then try to make it better. My impression is that you don't have the life you want and you are not trying to get it. Forget what others want. Find what YOU want and go get it.

      Here is what i suggest:
      1. List the things you don't like about your life (or yourself)
      2. List the the things you would like to have, be and do in your life (and don't worry about what you think is possible or not)
      3. Get rid of the things you don't like and go get the things you want.

      By the way, it's so cool that you went into a tornado and survived! That rocks!!! How about you walk up to a cute girl and tell her that! How could she not be impressed?
      Also if you look on internet or at the library, you will find a lot of products that can help you improve your life. I like Tony Robbins and David DeAngelo.
    • Re: Why am I always so miserable?

      I am going through quite a phase in my life myself, and I can't help much, but here's some:
      What I want you to, is rejoin your own view of a good life, and the general view.
      When I had trouble finding friends, it was because these sides were separated. I wanted to be with people for this long, at these times, while others wanted to socialize at other and times and styles. I forced the general look of friends and social-life upon me, because I was being criticized for being a loner. So I felt there was no other way.

      But as I started realizing who I was as a person, and what my believes where, I started learning what I want to sacrifice for my social-life, and who I want to spend time with.
      Become open, but not too much so. Don't betray yourself, just find the good qualities of those around you, and you will realize who you want to be around. Once this happens, you will be fueled by... love. If you have realized who you are, who they are, and why you want to be with them, the sole passion-sharing of you and them will bring you together, if you just cease the opportunities.