I don't know what to do.

    • I don't know what to do.

      Please read this and help me as much as you can..:confused:


      I've been with the same guy on and off for 2 years. Within the first four months we both cheated on eachother, and I'm over that but I wasn't, I was always bringing it back up until about a year ago. Although I didn't/don't trust him, I still kind of want to be with him but there have been so many rumors of him being with other girls at school (we go to different schools) and I confronted him about it but he denied it.. I was talking to some girl on the computer and she said he had been asking her if he could do a threesome with her and one of her friends (she lives like 2 hours away) and he admitted doing that so he said he would stop talking to her but he didn't. I checked his e-mail and there were messages from her so I replied as if I were him to see what she would say and she said that he gave her hickys she even SENT PICTURES! she even said they went back to her place. I didn't know what to believe so I called him and told him what had been going on and he called her a psycho and said he never did that.. I'm really stuck on it because I don't know what is true. Up until recently they haven't been talking, as far as I know, but now she is sending him lovey things over myyearbook and it is bugging me to all craziness. He says he isn't sending anything back and that she hasn't sent any messages or anything.. but I don't believe him..
      This isn't the only problem we have had. He has a major problem with lying. He tried to lie to me about a concert he was going to with his sister because he thought I would be upset. (It was a concert I was going to take him to but he said no, and they are like my favorite bands). I also went to his house early in the morning so we could hang out but we were sleeping. His brother called right when we woke up and he lied about me being there because his brother doesn't like me, so his brother was coming over to pick him up to go do "yard work" when they were really going tubbing. He made me leave even though I was there in the first place.
      He says he loves me in the most sincere believable tone and I kind of want to believe it.. but I am I just wasting my time with a liar and a cheater??
      I really love him..:cries:

    • Re: I don't know what to do.

      To be honest:
      He's a liar. A cheater, and a dickhead.
      Things are probably just going to get worse if you dont leave him and start healing from what he is putting you through. Dont make him think that he can get away with everything he does. If you are suspicious and have heard more than one reliable source say he did something, chances are it's probably true.
      I know you love him, and I know it's hard. But if he really loved you back he wouldnt be flirting around with other girls like he has been. you deserve a lot better than how he is treating you.

    • Re: I don't know what to do.

      It probably is true. I have tried to move on and I have been with one other guy.. We even had sex and then I told my ex (the liar/cheater) and he was really really upset.. And I asked him if he did anything and he still said no.. It makes me think that he didn't really do anything.. Plus, the people who have told me he did something don't like him or they don't like me dating him.. I'm just not sure.. I am so clueless.. I'm trying to figure things out. It's not fun letting someone go after two years..

    • Re: I don't know what to do.

      Hi Meghan,

      I think the first thing that hits out at me is the fact that he does lie. How is that going to lead to a secure relationship? I mean, if he keeps lying to you, which he seems to have done a few times, you are going to find it hard to trust him. Every time he goes out, or is back late, you're going to question in your mind 'Is he telling the truth or not?' and that is probably going to drive you insane.

      He admitted to asking that girl for a 3some, does that sound like someone who is happy in their relationship? I mean, he may have been joking around, I don't know. If he was, it's very insensitive and he wasn't thinking about your feelings at all. The other girl, if she's a 'psycho' as he puts it, hopefully he's not talking to her anymore. If he does, then it would strike me as he's lying again. In your heart, do you honestly trust him when he says it didn't happen, or do you trust her?

      I am also worried about the fact he got upset when you told him about your new guy and you had sex. You see, anyone would be upset. It doesn't prove that he hasn't cheated or lied to you. Any guy, even if they had cheated with 50 people, would be sad if their ex told them they'd had sex with a new boyfriend, because nobody likes that mental thought of their ex being with someone else. I think it's to do with a fear someone else could make you happier and it's a thought that most people would admit to.

      As to your options now, well, it's up to you. Me, personally, I would try and catch him out. I would probably create some made up profile and talk to him, and see what happens. See if he comes on to the 'girl' he's talking to, and what he does. And if he does, then you know what he's like, and hopefully, the decision to leave won't be that hard then.

      Another option would be to have a talk and say the lying must stop. You don't want to be with someone who lies all the time, and if he lies again, that's it. And you stick to it. And keep an eye out, to make sure nothing is happening.

      You know, in a relationship, you should never mistrust your partner, and the fact that you do is making me think that maybe it's all just not worth it. You both cheated, in your own admission, and if you were with 'the one', you'd never think of cheating, ever. So, maybe he just isn't the one for you. He may have his nice qualities, but the bad things are maybe outweighing the good one's. I don't know.

      2 years is a long time, I agree. And it's never easy to let someone go, even after 2 weeks sometimes. But you have to do what's right for you. Nobody else. There must be reasons why people don't like you dating him, and there must be a reason why people don't like him. It's rare for others to not like someone for no reason at all.


      [SIZE=2]Aaron - [/SIZE][SIZE=2]Support Leader[/SIZE] :kiss:
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      Saradactyl;2086538 wrote:


      Haha, Aaron. I wuv youuuu.
      [/RIGHT]
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    • Re: I don't know what to do.

      Thanks. Both of you make really good points. There's a TON of details to our relationship which are just way too many to explain. It would take me forever. But I think I do need to move on. He's a jerk and really doesn't care about my feelings. and not being able to trust him and having to wonder what he's doing all the time is not what I want in a relationship. Who knows, maybe I'll find an amazing guy when I'm in college. The college guy might be better because he actually wants to do something with his life.

      Thanks for all the help!!