i hate my life

    • i hate my life

      i used to be so happy like soo happy it was unreal. but now everythings different. i never want to go out with my friends anymore i HATE school i dont talk to my family anymore i just want to stay in my room forever on my own because i cant see anything changing or getting better and i cry at least twice everyday about my life because i have nothing!okk i live in a big house and have a family but thats not enough to make me emotionally happy it sounds ungreatful but the thing is my mum and dad used to have a lot of money to spend when i was about 5 - 13 now im getting older and i would actually put the money to good use my dad wont let my mum spend any of it because of the recession so hes put her on a budget and i cant buy ANYthing at all so really all i have is my own space. thats the only thing i can appriciate.

      i always feel guilty after i eat and i am clueless at to why this is. i never want to eat carbohydrates but i am not fat and i know this for factual information that im not fat but i just cant eat them any more. ever. i never want to they make me angry! and if i do i do want to throw it up - i never have and never would but i want to all the time! i want to slit my wrists,, i used to when i was about 11 but i want to be a model when im older so i cant. i dont know why i feel like this because im not ugly im not fat but i just hate everything!!!!!!!! sometimes i just imagine what it would be like to be dead.

      when i was younger also i suffered from anxiety and i hvent felt it since. but last night i was so anxious i just couldnt move and that was for the first time in years!!!!!
    • Re: i hate my life

      Maybe you think you’re missing out on something. Most forms of angriness are subconscious, and that’s why you don’t know the cause. Anger is an emotional response to a grievance. The grievance may be real or imagined, it may have its roots in a past or present experience, or it may be in anticipation of a future event. Anger is invariably based on the perception of threat or a perceived threat due to a conflict, injustice, negligence, humiliation and betrayal among others. I think the cause of your anger is that you feel like something in your life is missing or that you are missing out on something. And you need to feel this hole to feel better, for some people it will pass as time progresses but for others they need a change of scenery, new faces ect... a Holiday would be a suggestion, I think you take out your anger by slitting your wrists which is a emotional rebellion. I think you should find a better way to control your anger, Take it out on a punching bag. Go jogging twice a week. You should manage your eating to make sure you are eating the right amount of food. You should try to spend more times with your friends and not own your own. Try to focus more on your modelling than anything else. Just try and keep your mind clean.:o
    • Re: i hate my life

      soofi wrote:

      i used to be so happy like soo happy it was unreal. but now everythings different. i never want to go out with my friends anymore i HATE school i dont talk to my family anymore i just want to stay in my room forever on my own because i cant see anything changing or getting better and i cry at least twice everyday about my life because i have nothing!okk i live in a big house and have a family but thats not enough to make me emotionally happy it sounds ungreatful but the thing is my mum and dad used to have a lot of money to spend when i was about 5 - 13 now im getting older and i would actually put the money to good use my dad wont let my mum spend any of it because of the recession so hes put her on a budget and i cant buy ANYthing at all so really all i have is my own space. thats the only thing i can appriciate.


      What, for example, would you buy if they did give you money?

      i always feel guilty after i eat and i am clueless at to why this is. i never want to eat carbohydrates but i am not fat and i know this for factual information that im not fat but i just cant eat them any more. ever. i never want to they make me angry! and if i do i do want to throw it up - i never have and never would but i want to all the time!


      Don't deprive yourself of carbohydrates. They are your body's main fuel source. Starving yourself of a key nutrient will only make your body hold on to what it takes in. There is nothing wrong with carbohydrates, proteins, or fats as long as they are in the appropriate amounts.

      i want to slit my wrists,, i used to when i was about 11 but i want to be a model when im older so i cant.


      Regardless of... nevermind.

      i dont know why i feel like this because im not ugly im not fat but i just hate everything!!!!!!!! sometimes i just imagine what it would be like to be dead.


      lol. Feelings like this don't come from being ugly or fat, they come from your own mind. I'm pretty certain that most people who actually are fat do not self-hate like this.

      when i was younger also i suffered from anxiety and i hvent felt it since. but last night i was so anxious i just couldnt move and that was for the first time in years!!!!!


      Wait what?



      OVERALL ASSESSMENT: CHILL THE FUCK OUT.
      I'm so uncertain, it's principle.
      -----------------------------------------------------------
      "We wear the mask that grins and lies"
    • Re: i hate my life

      soofi wrote:

      i used to be so happy like soo happy it was unreal. but now everythings different. i never want to go out with my friends anymore i HATE school i dont talk to my family anymore i just want to stay in my room forever on my own because i cant see anything changing or getting better and i cry at least twice everyday about my life because i have nothing!okk i live in a big house and have a family but thats not enough to make me emotionally happy it sounds ungreatful but the thing is my mum and dad used to have a lot of money to spend when i was about 5 - 13 now im getting older and i would actually put the money to good use my dad wont let my mum spend any of it because of the recession so hes put her on a budget and i cant buy ANYthing at all so really all i have is my own space. thats the only thing i can appriciate.

      i always feel guilty after i eat and i am clueless at to why this is. i never want to eat carbohydrates but i am not fat and i know this for factual information that im not fat but i just cant eat them any more. ever. i never want to they make me angry! and if i do i do want to throw it up - i never have and never would but i want to all the time! i want to slit my wrists,, i used to when i was about 11 but i want to be a model when im older so i cant. i dont know why i feel like this because im not ugly im not fat but i just hate everything!!!!!!!! sometimes i just imagine what it would be like to be dead.

      when i was younger also i suffered from anxiety and i hvent felt it since. but last night i was so anxious i just couldnt move and that was for the first time in years!!!!!


      i know what you're going through, i had a long period in my life where i didn't hang out with anyone for weeks. i would never expect a big house to make anyone happy, its the people around you, and how you feel about yourself that would make you happy. is there a specific reason why you're not talking to your family?
      i think that you should try to consult a therapist, even though you may not want to, they really help. what were you thinking about that triggered the anxiety?
      one thing you may want to try is melatonin- its a natural aid to help your body sleep.
      i also suggest you at least try talking to your mom about how you feel.
      it can surprise you sometimes how much parents can understand and help.




      “We've all got both light and dark inside us. What matters is the part we choose to act on. That's who we really are.”
      -J.K. Rowling
    • Re: i hate my life

      Have you tried to speak to your mum about this?
      Maybe you just need to try and get motivation to go out with your friends - it could make you feel abit better to be outside your room.
      Everyone goes through down periods in they're life, some minor and some major.
      Have you tried councling? This could be very useful and help you back to your normal self.
      Over time these feelings should go away, try eating healthy - which does include some fatty foods. You shouldnt feel bad about eating them. Councleors can also help with this.
      You can somtimes feel isolated and lonley in a big house, i think you just need to make more contact wth friends and family - get your self esteem back up :)
      You'll get through this, and we're all behindyou helping you along the way!
      xx
      [CENTER][SIZE=3]Zachary Jayden, My precious little [/SIZE][SIZE=3]man, I love you with all my heart ♥[/SIZE][/CENTER]
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    • Re: i hate my life

      Hello dear Sofi.

      Many good people have left their helpful comments here,
      and i think they all have a point.

      As Kevin sad, you should keep your chin up.

      You may not afford to buy anything you want, but again, look at homeless people out there... They lead miserable life. They have nothing to eat, people fear and dislike them.

      You, on the other hand, have a loving and caring family. Your father put you on a budget?
      He is probably trying to save money so you can afford good education, he does it so this recession won't affect your future.

      Your mum probably is also concerned about this. Parents make all sorts of sacrifice for their children. They love you very much.

      As Veronica suggested, you should take up a hobby. To take your mind off worries about your family and yourself.

      And off course, as Linda wisely commented, you should talk to your parents about how you feel.

      I think i can see what worries you, because it's not uncommon among young people today.
      In my opinion, you are worried about your family, and about your future.

      People talk so much about recession on TV, that you just start thinking about it too much.

      "Will this harm my family in any way?"

      "Will we became poor or hungry?"

      "What can i do to help my parents?"

      "I feel guilty after eating, because i want to be sure we will always have something to eat, and i see how hard my parents work, and i think i am letting them down and burdening them."

      And off course, with thought like that on your mind, you can not expect to enjoy school or meeting with your friends, because they all just don't care about your situation, or don't seem to care.

      People in your school have different things to do, they talk about computer games, and movies and stuff that interest them, and you feel like you are forgetting about your family matters when you are amongst them.

      Do not worry. there is nothing wrong being concerned about your family welfare, in fact, it is very good indeed.

      Talk to your parents, tell them how much you love them and care about them.
      Ask what you can do, to make their life easier.
      Ask how you can help them.

      They will appreciate your affection and concern.

      You have a good family Sofi and a good soul.

      Good luck to you and God be with you.
    • Re: i hate my life

      see....all d things dat r happning wid u happned wid m frnd also.....i ko how it feels.....but deres one thing to give this depression up.....n dat is U
      if u want then u can change all dis.....jus think of all d crazzy things u did wid ur frnds....all d fun stuff....and how much ur parents lv u......it will take time.....but its gonna b f9
      :D
    • Re: i hate my life

      I think that you need someone else to rely on, someone that will listen and understand you. My sister was all over the place before she found her boyfriend and now she is very happy, personally I cannot find anyone to talk to that really understands me so I rely on god.

      the lord my god is my strength and my song, he also has become my salvation.
    • Re: i hate my life

      I know exactly what you're going through, i've been there myself, have you tried talking to anyone about it? It's hard i know but admitting and sharing the problem is the first step. I'd advise a doctor or a therapist as they're alot more qualified in finding the best way to diagnose and treat you than anyone you'll find on here but seriously, talk to someone. You aren't alone in this, remember how happy you used to be, you can be like that again, there is lots of help out there for you, i know everything seems hopeless right now but you can get through it, you just need to find someone you trust that you can talk to. It's suprising just how understanding your parents can be about something like this.
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