help me cheer up...? :(

    • help me cheer up...? :(

      when ur a little kid, everything seems so perfect. death seems so far away, u think ur gonna live forever, and nothing bad is ever gonna happen to u. u have so much fun and u don't mind having to go 2 school becuz all ur friends r there. but then everything starts to change... and that's what happened 2 me... ok... so, i was a normal, happy 8 year old until one day, my mom and dad took me for a walk. they bought me lots of toys and ice cream and stuff. it didn't seem unusual to me but then, they said we should sit down and talk. my dad said "Look, your mom and i have been together for a long time. Sometimes people need to take a break from each other. So we thought that maybe we would. Maybe just for a while. What do you think, honey?" I knew what that meant. Divorce. My friend's parents were divorced and she had to go to a therapist. Hundreds of thoughts flooded my mind. I knew that lots of people were divorced. I just never though that my parents would be too. "Honey, are you OK? You understand that we might not love each other but we still love you, right?" Yes, dad, yes, i know. "I'm fine." I said. I kept my tears in. You know that feeling you get when you want to cry, but you just don't? That was what i felt. I pretended to be OK. But i wasn't. After that, everything else in my life seemed to go wrong. Later on my dad got a girlfriend and they had a baby. It was hard for me because i'd always been an only child. After that my dog died. She was very young. Then my best friend ditched me. Then i started to fail in school. Then my bf raped me after i broke up with him. then i had a new bf and he raped me too. after that i never trusted anyone. my mom knows that they raped me and she took me to a therapist. The therapist didn't help at all. Now everyone thinks I'm some kind of messed up kid. And maybe I am. But every time I see my "friends" i just put a happy face on and laugh along with them. They don't know that I'm dying inside. I have so many problems in my life apart from those. I hate it. I wish could just lock myself at home forever. Everybody thinks my life is so easy but it's not. Everybody pretends to be my friend and they just use me. And all the boyfriends i have had, even the ones that didn't rape me, the didn't really love me. People are always pretending around me. I HATE IT.
      *zoe :eek:[FONT="Fixedsys"][COLOR="Magenta"][/COLOR][/FONT]
    • Re: help me cheer up...? :(

      Wow. This sounds really similar to my story. Only, I was 5 when my parent's did this to me, and it was to tell me that my real parent's were dead, and that they were my grandparents. And then my life slipped away. However, I now have a very dedicated and loving boyfriend, who, I don't think would ever hurt me.

      People still pretend around me, they pretend that my life is so much better then theirs, and they say that I use my parents as an excuse when things go wrong, but I didn't tell any of my friends until I had known them for over a year. I feel left behind, all the time, just like you, like I have to pretend to be happy.

      Recently, my friends have been replaced with my boyfriends friends, because I don't have the same lunch period as my friends do. However, I haven't told most of them myself that my parent's are dead, and the ones that do use it against me. Like, saying "Your mom! Oh wait. She's dead."

      I totally understand where your coming from.

      You can talk to me if you need to.
      [SIZE=2]"It seems like forever, but a lifetime can pass in a second."[/SIZE]
      [SIZE=4]James Zachary Ericsen <31-9-08>[/SIZE]
    • Re: help me cheer up...? :(

      Hey Zoe,

      I'm very sorry that all of this stuff has happened to you. I can understand that you might be feeling pretty depressed, but just because you are depressed does not mean you are crazy. Just because you're going to a therapist also doesn't mean you are crazy. Lots of people talk to counselors and therapists, including celebrities. Sometimes we just need another person to talk to. It may seem like everyone is ignoring you and ditching you and hurting your feelings, but I'm sure you at least have one person in your life who is there for you. I'm sure you have more too. However, I want you to keep in mind of the way you act around others. Sometimes we get frustrated with people because they're really pessimistic around us and being around people who act like that, tend to make us feel that way too. Do you not feel happy around others who are happy, right? So take it upon yourself to take your therapy seriously and talk about everything, because therapy will only work if you tell the truth and omit nothing.

      You could also ask about medicines to try. Sometimes this helps people and sometimes it doesn't. Just don't give up, if whatever you're doing isn't helping try something new. Just don't give up.

      Hope this helps. :)
    • Re: help me cheer up...? :(

      pinkpeony wrote:

      when ur a little kid, everything seems so perfect. death seems so far away, u think ur gonna live forever, and nothing bad is ever gonna happen to u. u have so much fun and u don't mind having to go 2 school becuz all ur friends r there. but then everything starts to change... and that's what happened 2 me... ok... so, i was a normal, happy 8 year old until one day, my mom and dad took me for a walk. they bought me lots of toys and ice cream and stuff. it didn't seem unusual to me but then, they said we should sit down and talk. my dad said "Look, your mom and i have been together for a long time. Sometimes people need to take a break from each other. So we thought that maybe we would. Maybe just for a while. What do you think, honey?" I knew what that meant. Divorce. My friend's parents were divorced and she had to go to a therapist. Hundreds of thoughts flooded my mind. I knew that lots of people were divorced. I just never though that my parents would be too. "Honey, are you OK? You understand that we might not love each other but we still love you, right?" Yes, dad, yes, i know. "I'm fine." I said. I kept my tears in. You know that feeling you get when you want to cry, but you just don't? That was what i felt. I pretended to be OK. But i wasn't. After that, everything else in my life seemed to go wrong. Later on my dad got a girlfriend and they had a baby. It was hard for me because i'd always been an only child. After that my dog died. She was very young. Then my best friend ditched me. Then i started to fail in school. Then my bf raped me after i broke up with him. then i had a new bf and he raped me too. after that i never trusted anyone. my mom knows that they raped me and she took me to a therapist. The therapist didn't help at all. Now everyone thinks I'm some kind of messed up kid. And maybe I am. But every time I see my "friends" i just put a happy face on and laugh along with them. They don't know that I'm dying inside. I have so many problems in my life apart from those. I hate it. I wish could just lock myself at home forever. Everybody thinks my life is so easy but it's not. Everybody pretends to be my friend and they just use me. And all the boyfriends i have had, even the ones that didn't rape me, the didn't really love me. People are always pretending around me. I HATE IT.



      Wow, at first I didn't know what to say. I'm sorry to hear about your parents. A lot of kids have to go with through their parents being divorced. It really is a hard thing to see happen. It tears these kids up inside, and they find blame in themselves. Which you shouldn't do, no matter what. But you cannot blame your parents divorce on everything that has gone on in your life. So let's kind of go through it.

      Your dad's girlfriend and their baby. He fell in love with someone else, and that doesn't seem right to you, because you always knew it as your mom and your dad together. That's all you knew, and change is a hard thing to accept. Do you really go around your dad much? Do you know much about his life? Getting to know his girlfriend and the baby might be a good start to better understanding what happened.

      As for your dog, is there a reason he/she died? Did something happen? Death, even when it's a pet is hard. Especially when you feel like that dog is the only thing you really have for you. That's going to be there no matter what. When I lost my childhood pet, it tore me up too. But eventually I remembered everything good about him, and I was able to move on, and understand what happened. I learned to cope with it.

      When it comes to friends ditching you, if they're able to ditch you and feel nothing, you deserve better than that anyways. You need a friend who is going to be there for you no matter what. You should try to get out there and make some new friends. Regardless of what people think about you, show them the real you. A caring individual is what I see. I would be friends with you. Regardless of your problems, people should look at you as a person, not a pity case. They should want to be your friend. Get to know you. Anything. So put yourself out there, and make some friends. You're bound to find someone who is going to be there no matter what.


      Maybe as you find new friends, you'll find better people in the 'dating pool'. Better guys. That won't treat you like dirt, take advantage of you, or anything. You deserve so much better than that. Nobody deserves to be raped, and I personally think you should have taken them to court as soon as it happened, and they'd be locked up. Because rapists don't deserve to walk the streets in my opinion. But it's good that your mom cared enough to take you to therapy. Rape is something that traumatizes people, and could lead you to be suicidal if you just let it sit. It leads to nightmares, breakdowns, anxiety attacks, a number of different things. The more help you can get, the better.

      I know it seems like things are only going to get worse, but remember there's a silver lining in every storm cloud. Things will pass, and you'll find something that will make all of this worth it. Whether that be a new best friend, or someone who falls in love with you and treats you how you deserve to be treated. Don't give up. Don't ever let it bring you down and make you give up. You can do anything you want. You can learn and grow from everything bad that has happened to you. No matter what. Lessons learned is all it is. You live and learn.

      I wish you the best of luck, and if you need anything else, feel free to get ahold of me. :)
    • Re: help me cheer up...? :(

      Thank you...
      What happened to you seems a lot worse than what happened to me.
      I always feel like a jerk complaining about my life.
      There are people with cancer, people starving to death in Africa.
      Their lives are much worse than mine.
      I should consider myself lucky.
      I have parents, money, a house...
      At least I am told I should consider myself lucky.
      But what happened to me is just... reality.
      Real life isn't full of unicorns and smiles and rainbows.
      Real life sucks.
      Except when you find someone you can trust.
      Someone you can love.
      I have a friend.
      One true friend.
      The others... I know they're not really my friends.
      :(
      :)
      ?
      *zoe :eek:[FONT="Fixedsys"][COLOR="Magenta"][/COLOR][/FONT]
    • Re: help me cheer up...? :(

      Heather wrote:

      Wow, at first I didn't know what to say. I'm sorry to hear about your parents. A lot of kids have to go with through their parents being divorced. It really is a hard thing to see happen. It tears these kids up inside, and they find blame in themselves. Which you shouldn't do, no matter what. But you cannot blame your parents divorce on everything that has gone on in your life. So let's kind of go through it.

      Your dad's girlfriend and their baby. He fell in love with someone else, and that doesn't seem right to you, because you always knew it as your mom and your dad together. That's all you knew, and change is a hard thing to accept. Do you really go around your dad much? Do you know much about his life? Getting to know his girlfriend and the baby might be a good start to better understanding what happened.

      As for your dog, is there a reason he/she died? Did something happen? Death, even when it's a pet is hard. Especially when you feel like that dog is the only thing you really have for you. That's going to be there no matter what. When I lost my childhood pet, it tore me up too. But eventually I remembered everything good about him, and I was able to move on, and understand what happened. I learned to cope with it.

      When it comes to friends ditching you, if they're able to ditch you and feel nothing, you deserve better than that anyways. You need a friend who is going to be there for you no matter what. You should try to get out there and make some new friends. Regardless of what people think about you, show them the real you. A caring individual is what I see. I would be friends with you. Regardless of your problems, people should look at you as a person, not a pity case. They should want to be your friend. Get to know you. Anything. So put yourself out there, and make some friends. You're bound to find someone who is going to be there no matter what.


      Maybe as you find new friends, you'll find better people in the 'dating pool'. Better guys. That won't treat you like dirt, take advantage of you, or anything. You deserve so much better than that. Nobody deserves to be raped, and I personally think you should have taken them to court as soon as it happened, and they'd be locked up. Because rapists don't deserve to walk the streets in my opinion. But it's good that your mom cared enough to take you to therapy. Rape is something that traumatizes people, and could lead you to be suicidal if you just let it sit. It leads to nightmares, breakdowns, anxiety attacks, a number of different things. The more help you can get, the better.

      I know it seems like things are only going to get worse, but remember there's a silver lining in every storm cloud. Things will pass, and you'll find something that will make all of this worth it. Whether that be a new best friend, or someone who falls in love with you and treats you how you deserve to be treated. Don't give up. Don't ever let it bring you down and make you give up. You can do anything you want. You can learn and grow from everything bad that has happened to you. No matter what. Lessons learned is all it is. You live and learn.

      I wish you the best of luck, and if you need anything else, feel free to get ahold of me. :)

      -My dad's girlfriend is horrible to me. She thinks she can boss me around and sometimes she hits me. She says that's how her parents raised her. Sometimes I go and tell my dad, other times I just scream at her to stop or lock myself in the bathroom and cry my eyes out. Now my half brother is 5 and I love him, he's really sweet and cute. I'm very jealous of him though. My stepmother always gives him what he wants and never hits him.

      -My dog Jellybean died on January 1st. She was only one year old. Somebody sent us a box of chocolates on Christmas and one day, she tipped the box over and managed to eat eight chocolates. We took her to the vet and had to leave her there for two days. Then on January 1st we got a call from the vet and they said she had died from poisoning. I cried for hours that day. The hardest part was when I went back to school. Sometimes I would think about her in class and start to cry. Most times I was sent to the counselor. Everybody thought I was a weirdo.

      -My best friend was a new kid and I showed her around the school. She was very shy but we became friends quickly. Then she started to make new friends and started hanging out with them more than with me. Then she just stopped talking to me at school. I was her friend when nobody else wanted to and she just ditched me.
      *zoe :eek:[FONT="Fixedsys"][COLOR="Magenta"][/COLOR][/FONT]
    • Re: help me cheer up...? :(

      pinkpeony wrote:

      -My dad's girlfriend is horrible to me. She thinks she can boss me around and sometimes she hits me. She says that's how her parents raised her. Sometimes I go and tell my dad, other times I just scream at her to stop or lock myself in the bathroom and cry my eyes out. Now my half brother is 5 and I love him, he's really sweet and cute. I'm very jealous of him though. My stepmother always gives him what he wants and never hits him.


      Have you tried to talk to your dad about it? Explain to him that she has NO right to do that to you, and that if it continues, you'll stop coming around. You shouldn't have to put up with that just because you're not her biological child. Your dad really should step in when it comes to that.

      -My dog Jellybean died on January 1st. She was only one year old. Somebody sent us a box of chocolates on Christmas and one day, she tipped the box over and managed to eat eight chocolates. We took her to the vet and had to leave her there for two days. Then on January 1st we got a call from the vet and they said she had died from poisoning. I cried for hours that day. The hardest part was when I went back to school. Sometimes I would think about her in class and start to cry. Most times I was sent to the counselor. Everybody thought I was a weirdo.


      You're not a weirdo for being upset about your dog dying. It's totally understandable. And I'm sorry to hear about what happened with her. You don't have to explain yourself to anyone. Let them think what they want.


      -My best friend was a new kid and I showed her around the school. She was very shy but we became friends quickly. Then she started to make new friends and started hanging out with them more than with me. Then she just stopped talking to me at school. I was her friend when nobody else wanted to and she just ditched me.


      New students are easily swayed. They tend to be willing to fall into whatever group they can get into. You deserve something better than that. Like I said, get yourself out there. Join some clubs or something. Meet some people. People are a lot more accepting to people they have things in common with.