My friend's virginity... why am I mad?

    • My friend's virginity... why am I mad?

      Sorry, this is going to be long winded. I recently found out that my best friend since 6th grade lost his virginity almost 6 months ago, and for some reason I'm really angry/sad/upset by it, but I don't know why.

      Last summer he and some other friends went to work for a boat service on an island that is relatively close to home; I was going to go too but got an internship at a local hospital which I didn't want to pass up because it would be really nice to have that on my resume for med school. Anyway, I was able to visit a few times but for the most part, our communication with one another was severely reduced. He went back to college while I still had a few weeks left of my summer break, and I was hanging out with one of the friends who also worked at the island and he was telling me that my best friend lost his virginity to this local island girl.

      For awhile I would bring it up and he would just deny it, which made me feel a little better, but I wasn't naive enough to believe it (he sucks at lying). Well a couple nights ago he calls me, really really drunk, to talk since we haven't in awhile and I brought it up again; this time, he said he "might have had sex with her" which led to him admitting that he did.

      Now that I know for sure it happened, I all of a sudden feel really unhappy about it. For one, I know I'm unhappy because he is my best friend and has been lying to me about it for 6 months, while plenty of others have known. Second, prior to this he has two VERY serious girlfriends, one who I hated (but tried my hardest to hide it) and one who was fine. Both girls wanted to have sex but he said he wasn't ready because to him sex was a really big deal. Then only months after breaking up with the most recent one, he goes and has sex with this girl, who has 'been around' (huge slut), and he has only known for a couple months AT MOST... not to mention, when I met her, she was a total bitch.

      I'm NOT jealous in any way... I have my own girlfriend, plus I was totally happy for him when he told me he got his first handjob and blowjob (from his first REAL girlfriend), but finding out about this just makes me pissed. Like I lost respect for him or something.

      I really want to talk to him about it, but the only time I am comfortable calling him and bringing up stuff like this is when one or both of us is really drunk, and you can't have a real conversation like that. I just want to know why I feel so angry and hollow now that I found out and if talking it through might help?
    • Re: My friend's virginity... why am I mad?

      xNerRadx wrote:

      You wanted to be his first


      but for real, if he used to think that sex was a big deal and stuff, he probably felt pressured to have sex with the girl on the island because of the other guys that were there. he'll probably never admit to it, but i bet that has something to do with it. as far as you being upset about it, its probably just because he lied to you for so long. i know i would be disappointed if one of my friends lied to me about something like that. and although it will be hard to do, i really think you should just suck it up and talk to him about it. soberly. because if you don't talk to him about it and you don't find out why he lied in the first place, can you ever really trust him again?