Did I do the right Thing?

    • Did I do the right Thing?

      I have liked this girl at my college since I first met her, alot! I have never even cared about having a girlfriend or dating before I met her.
      I have 2 hours between my classes and usually me and my best friend hang out and pass time. However I have had to ditch him all semester to go and see her. He is my best friend so I guess that means that she means a lot to me.
      She has to wait for her mom to get her for about 30 minutes every day after school. So I would set with her because I know that just setting there for that long has to be extremely boring.
      We had so much in common, both liked the Same Video Games, lots of the Same Movies, the same TV Shows, lots of the same music, both of us liked Japanese (にほんじん) . So I decided to really do things that she liked (Play Wow, Watch “The Office”) and learn Japanese just so that we could have something to talk about.
      2 days ago while waiting on her mom, we decided to set outside on the steps and the wind was blowing and we were talking and everything was just perfect.
      Later that night I wrote a letter to her saying that I liked her and would like to spend more time with her and be closer than friends, that she would receive in the morning. I wrote the letter over and over. In the letter I told her that it was totally her decision if she liked me and if she wanted to do something. I also said that whatever she decides I will respect it.
      The next day she got the letter and didn't respond ‘til that night.
      (6:55:16 PM) Im really sorry, and i seriously dont want to hurt your feelings but in my defense i never meant to lead you on in any way. im glad youre my friend, i really am, but i dont like you in the way you want me to. you cant control who you like and so im very sorry. and if im totally honest with myself and you i still have feelings for someone.... please dont be angry with me
      I have always known she would say "No". However some part of me said to tell her that I liked her. Maby she would remember all the time that I have spent with her and all that we had in common, and say yes.
      I thought that you are supposed to go on a date with someone then decide if you like them? She didn't even give me a chance. I mean I do act differently at Home, than I act at School.

      I was really surprised that she said No right away.
      (7:05:10 PM) Walker: to me your saying never?
      (7:05:51 PM) : Never sounds really mean though
      ----Question 1: You really think she meant Never! By this, correct?

      (7:26:10 PM) Walker: I know I’m not strong or good looking.
      (7:28:22 PM) : .......i dont care about that stuff, seriously- its the chemistry thats off...the fact that you would think i even cared about all that just proves my point
      I knew that she didn't care about that stuff, that’s a real reason that I liked her, I was really just making sure I guess.
      ----Question 2: What is chemistry? Is that just a way a girl can use to reject someone?
      (7:31:49 PM) : well then speaking generally, about girls, they seriously prefer a guy that is self-confident over a good looking guy- its all about the attitude
      ----Question 3: Do you agree with that statement?
      I don’t know why, but even though she has rejected me, I can’t stop thinking about her. I guess it is because she is the only person I have ever liked.
      ----Question 4: Should I of pushed harder to go on a date? Or did I do the right thing and accept what she said without question?
      I mean shes such a great person and has probably had tons of people asking her, I guess when she has a bunch of friends that are guys, why need a boyfriend?
    • Re: Did I do the right Thing?

      I would persue her for a little longer, but if she rejects you again its time to leave her alone and start hanging out with your best friend again.

      Theres not really much you can do. Shes sounding a little confusing to me with her signals. Odd.

      ---------- Post added at 10:05 AM ---------- Previous post was at 10:02 AM ----------

      tiggerwalker wrote:


      ----Question 1: You really think she meant Never! By this, correct?
      ----Question 2: What is chemistry? Is that just a way a girl can use to reject ----Question 3: Do you agree with that statement?
      ----Question 4: Should I of pushed harder to go on a date? Or did I do the right thing and accept what she said without question?
      I mean shes such a great person and has probably had tons of people asking her, I guess when she has a bunch of friends that are guys, why need a boyfriend?


      1. If she says it, she does mean it.
      2. No, chemistry is what you feel, what makes things spark, makes someone attractive
      3. Yes, a confident guy is a turn on
      4. You did the right thing
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    • Re: Did I do the right Thing?

      It doesn't sound like she's just coming up with an excuse to turn you down. It sounds like she's just trying to be honest, but also trying not to hurt you. It seems like you're in the friend zone. She enjoys having you around. She's grateful for your friendship, but she doesn't see you as more than a friend. If she doesn't reciprocate your feelings, I don't think it would be a good idea to keep pushing to go on a date. It may put strain on the friendship you've managed to salvage. It could push her away. So, I think it's good that you just accepted it. Though, that's just my opinion.

      You didn't necessarily make a mistake by telling her. At least now you know and you don't have to wonder 'what if'. Chalk this up to experience and learn from it. You don't have to change the things you like and be a different person to please someone else, even the girl you like. It's good to not have everything in common. It makes things more interesting that way. Just be yourself and there will be a girl that will like you for you.
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      The post was edited 1 time, last by Jasmine ().

    • Re: Did I do the right Thing?

      1) yes she probably meant it.
      2) irrelevant.
      3) no.
      4) That's three questions! :bitchslap:
      Anyways, no you shouldn't have pushed harder. She didn't like you and that's the end of it, if you pushed harder you would have only annoyed her.
      "The point of philosophy is to start with something so simple as not to seem worth stating, and to end with something so paradoxical no one will believe in it"-Bertrand Russell