Help me make it work, please!

    • Help me make it work, please!

      Right, here's the situation. My bf of two years, and the one who recently proposed to me is going to be doing his final year in uni, he's studying music so it's a hell of alot of compostion and he has a thesis and all that to do as well, i'll be going into first year in the same uni in a matter of weeks. He also works as a supervisor in a call centre and works a lot of hours and it's really really well paying. He suffers from exhaustion alot, and now he's decided that he can't juggle a gf, a job and his final year in uni, so he's gotta drop one. Guess which one! :( Anyway, he suggested we take a break till things settle and a routine forms with work and uni, however, to me, taking a break is simply good bye we're over. I suggested we try it from day one, and try work through it and if it doesn't work then we can at least say we tried., however he doesn't wanna do this for his health reasons with suffering from exhaustion and all that.

      Has anybody got any suggestions? He can't quit his job because otherwise he can't afford uni, and he can't quit that because it's his future and i won't let him. I need some help with this, i don't wanna lose the best thing that's ever happened to me.
      [SIZE=4]"That's like a slice of lemon, or a vanilla flavoured orange!" - The moon according to a very drunken [/SIZE][SIZE=4]me[/SIZE][SIZE=4] :lol:[/SIZE]
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    • Re: Help me make it work, please!

      if he wants to take a break because he doesnt have the time, just tell him you dont have to hang about all the time, and you can just see him when he has time, and with him going to the same uni as you ur going to see him so like u could go to lunch together or wateva, you can ake it work if u want to, you just need to try and see each other in between classes, and he proposed to you? its stupid to take a break after that. just tell him if he wants to make it work he can and you can fit into his scedule.

    • Re: Help me make it work, please!

      kat1990 wrote:

      Exhaustion? How should that affect your relationship though?
      I agree, eaving it will not get things sorted. I think you probably need to sit down and discuss it with him


      we spent the last two hours trying to find a solution, we both ended up in tears, i've never ever seen him cry, ever, and i know he wants us to work, as do i. That's why i'm asking you guys if you know of any other way that can help us make this work, otherwise i'm gonna be utterly lost.
      [SIZE=4]"That's like a slice of lemon, or a vanilla flavoured orange!" - The moon according to a very drunken [/SIZE][SIZE=4]me[/SIZE][SIZE=4] :lol:[/SIZE]
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    • Re: Help me make it work, please!

      kat1990 wrote:

      Exhaustion? How should that affect your relationship though?



      Working too much, spending too much time working on uni assignments and then trying to fit in the time to see me regularly all the while getting about 3 hours sleep a night. He done it, unknown to myself, all last year, and ended up collapsing and having to be stuck in a hospital for a few days, his immune system went to hell, i don't want that to happen to him again, i would of kicked his ass home everytime i seen him during the last year if i knew it was going on.
      [SIZE=4]"That's like a slice of lemon, or a vanilla flavoured orange!" - The moon according to a very drunken [/SIZE][SIZE=4]me[/SIZE][SIZE=4] :lol:[/SIZE]
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    • Re: Help me make it work, please!

      Hun, if thats what he needs, respect it. If things are meant to be you guys will work out. Yeah, it's going to hurt right now but give it a couple weeks and let a routine start with school like he said.
      If you care for him, which you obviously do, let him go for a bit. He's got a lot on his mind right now and he's got to concentrate on it. Like they say, if you love something, let it go. If it comes back, it's yours for ever. My hunny and I went through this type of thing a year ago, he came back. I thought a break was good bye, but we're going strong now a year after.
      Just take a deep breath and try to calm down, things will work out for the best.
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      LolGecko;260339 wrote:

      ROFL:lol:
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    • Re: Help me make it work, please!

      I need him though, he's been part of my life for so long, i can't just let that go...This is seriously hurting, so so so badly. I'm more afraid of doing the whole taking a break thing, but instead of getting back together, it'll just be over.
      [SIZE=4]"That's like a slice of lemon, or a vanilla flavoured orange!" - The moon according to a very drunken [/SIZE][SIZE=4]me[/SIZE][SIZE=4] :lol:[/SIZE]
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    • Re: Help me make it work, please!

      Lady Moonbeam wrote:

      Right, here's the situation. My bf of two years, and the one who recently proposed to me is going to be doing his final year in uni, he's studying music so it's a hell of alot of compostion and he has a thesis and all that to do as well, i'll be going into first year in the same uni in a matter of weeks. He also works as a supervisor in a call centre and works a lot of hours and it's really really well paying. He suffers from exhaustion alot, and now he's decided that he can't juggle a gf, a job and his final year in uni, so he's gotta drop one. Guess which one! :( Anyway, he suggested we take a break till things settle and a routine forms with work and uni, however, to me, taking a break is simply good bye we're over. I suggested we try it from day one, and try work through it and if it doesn't work then we can at least say we tried., however he doesn't wanna do this for his health reasons with suffering from exhaustion and all that.

      Has anybody got any suggestions? He can't quit his job because otherwise he can't afford uni, and he can't quit that because it's his future and i won't let him. I need some help with this, i don't wanna lose the best thing that's ever happened to me.


      Bleh.. I hate guys who put business before love... :mad:

      At the same time, I understand what he is going through. It sounds like he just wants to get secure, that way you two can have a better life together.. although I could be wrong, but I mean I would just give him some room and see what happens.

    • Re: Help me make it work, please!

      MissV wrote:

      If you need him, you have a serious problem.

      Theres a huge difference between need and want.


      I love him, if it wasn't for him i wouldn't be where i am today, i owe so so much to him for what's he's done for me since i met him. When i say i need him, what i mean is that i can't imagine my life without him being in it as my bf. He gives me so so much support, more than i have ever gotten from anybody else, both emotionally and academic and he certainly keeps me from going insane. I know i don't need a man to define who i am, but i would be devestated if everything ended right here, right now, and it would take me quite a while to recover from it after him being such a big part of my life for so long.
      [SIZE=4]"That's like a slice of lemon, or a vanilla flavoured orange!" - The moon according to a very drunken [/SIZE][SIZE=4]me[/SIZE][SIZE=4] :lol:[/SIZE]
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    • Re: Help me make it work, please!

      Angelwings411 wrote:

      Bleh.. I hate guys who put business before love... :mad:


      Well if he quits his job he can't pay for uni, and that's his future. i know it's more important than me, and i don't see it as him putting it before me, before in terms of importance, it is before me. It's gonna decide his future. I don't know if i'll be in his future, but his work and uni will be
      [SIZE=4]"That's like a slice of lemon, or a vanilla flavoured orange!" - The moon according to a very drunken [/SIZE][SIZE=4]me[/SIZE][SIZE=4] :lol:[/SIZE]
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    • Re: Help me make it work, please!

      Lady Moonbeam wrote:

      Well if he quits his job he can't pay for uni, and that's his future. i know it's more important than me, and i don't see it as him putting it before me, before in terms of importance, it is before me. It's gonna decide his future. I don't know if i'll be in his future, but his work and uni will be


      You are my hero!
      I respect people who are able to put the people they love above themselves.. you are soo unselfish. :)

    • Re: Help me make it work, please!

      Well i'd hate to have him quit uni for me, he offered to do it, but i will not let him do it. That degree will stay with him forever, who's to say i will?

      Oh and yay i'm someone's hero! lol
      [SIZE=4]"That's like a slice of lemon, or a vanilla flavoured orange!" - The moon according to a very drunken [/SIZE][SIZE=4]me[/SIZE][SIZE=4] :lol:[/SIZE]
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    • Re: Help me make it work, please!

      MissV wrote:

      Hun, if thats what he needs, respect it. If things are meant to be you guys will work out. Yeah, it's going to hurt right now but give it a couple weeks and let a routine start with school like he said.
      If you care for him, which you obviously do, let him go for a bit. He's got a lot on his mind right now and he's got to concentrate on it. Like they say, if you love something, let it go. If it comes back, it's yours for ever. My hunny and I went through this type of thing a year ago, he came back. I thought a break was good bye, but we're going strong now a year after.
      Just take a deep breath and try to calm down, things will work out for the best.

      I really really really have to thank you for this. After taking a few deep breaths and lying on my bed thinking, i came to the conclusion that i gotta agree with you. And as much as i really really hate the whole going on a break thing, i gotta give him some space and some time to work things out and get settled in.

      Thanks ten million times over, it really helped.
      [SIZE=4]"That's like a slice of lemon, or a vanilla flavoured orange!" - The moon according to a very drunken [/SIZE][SIZE=4]me[/SIZE][SIZE=4] :lol:[/SIZE]
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    • Re: Help me make it work, please!

      Lady Moonbeam wrote:

      I really really really have to thank you for this. After taking a few deep breaths and lying on my bed thinking, i came to the conclusion that i gotta agree with you. And as much as i really really hate the whole going on a break thing, i gotta give him some space and some time to work things out and get settled in.

      Thanks ten million times over, it really helped.


      :)
      I'm glad.

      Trust me hunny, I've been in this spot before. If you need anything, just PM me :)
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      LolGecko;260339 wrote:

      ROFL:lol:
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    • Re: Help me make it work, please!

      He's not quitting his job, if he does he can't afford uni, and he already has tonnes of student loans, he's supervisor in his job so he can't really cut back his hours. and we've made a deal anyway, we take a break, and get back together when we're both settled into uni and things form a routine, and if we don't get back together, i cut off his genitalia and get it surgically attached to his forehead. And trust me, i would do it.
      [SIZE=4]"That's like a slice of lemon, or a vanilla flavoured orange!" - The moon according to a very drunken [/SIZE][SIZE=4]me[/SIZE][SIZE=4] :lol:[/SIZE]
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    • Re: Help me make it work, please!

      well since u have already made ur deal or whatever, really doesnt matter, but just an opionon taking a break from a relationship, seems a pretty lame solution, i mean u guys dont have to see each other everyday, u dont have to be together everyday, there are alot of other thigns u could stop doing, but taking a break, well that even sounds wierd. Just my opionion so whatever, but ppl take breaks from, work, they take breaks from studing, who takes breaks from life....? I also have a gf, who is time consuming.:lol:, and i am taking almost double the courses that i am supposed to take in uni, im a third yrs student, and i work, there are not enough hrs in the day for me to get stuff done, i dont even sleep enough every single night..... i do understand how he must be feeling but, take a break form a relationship sounds kind of unreal..... then again just my opionion.

      But i hope it works for you guys, best of luck :thumbsup:

    • Re: Help me make it work, please!

      I'm thinking the very same, i can't see the difference in if we're together and don't see each other for a while and if we're not and don't see each other for a while. He's not the greatest looking of people to be honest, looks identical to ron weasely from the early harry potter films before he got hot, so my worries of him finding someone else are slim, he flirts with everyone around him, that's just in his nature. Like whaty you said about the sleep thing, he barely sleeps at night as it is and his health is deteriorating because of it, i'd rather him not be ill, and if it means me bring out of the picture for two or three weeks, then so be it.
      [SIZE=4]"That's like a slice of lemon, or a vanilla flavoured orange!" - The moon according to a very drunken [/SIZE][SIZE=4]me[/SIZE][SIZE=4] :lol:[/SIZE]
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