Should I confront him?

    • Should I confront him?

      So my boyfriend and I have been going out for 7 months, it's a very serious relationship but we see each other very little as he studies in another country.

      The other day I found out his password and logged on to his facebook. I shouldn't have and I'm so ashamed of checking his messages, but while i was there i found he had written this to one of his friends:
      'I almost bagged a sexy fine cougar the other night, she was about 30-35. she was sexyfinesexy but I cant be cheatin on the ol ball n chain.'

      i trust him completely and I was thinking about how to approach the subject so I started talking about cheating and relationships and if he's ever been tempted by another girl but he says no. And I sort of believe that, because he's always been so honest with me and we have a very deep connection and we both love each other very much.

      so my question is, do I mention it (and say he was logged on to facebook on my comp when he left) or do i just deal with it myself? I kind of want to hear an explanation for it but don't want to admit to invading his privacy like that because I think it's an awful thing to do.

      Could it just be guy banter? What could I do about it?:confused:

    • Re: Should I confront him?

      hun this one is your call... if you think he will get pist if you tell him about you logging in his facebook then you might have to find another way that you know he will not get mad about... and i would say it is a guy thing most young guys do not like the thought of being tied down even if you are just his girlfriend...and sometimes its just something to make them seem cooler... " o almost had this hot chick" his friend is gunna say something like" thats so awesome... ur luckey" or something along that line..... i mean i guess its depends on what you think... if you trust him enough then most likely hes not cheating but if you have a trust issue then you are more likely to think he is cheating....
      [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]
      I'll be waiting wen u get back .♥Semper♥.♥Fidelis♥.

    • Re: Should I confront him?

      If you tell him that he left himself logged on last time he was over and he finds out you lied, that could get you into a whole lot of trouble. I'm going to be honest, of COURSE hes going to be tempted, hes a GUY with a girlfriend pretty far away. The important thing is that he didn't, so honestly, I wouldn't confront him about it. Then he would start wondering how you got on, if he knew he didn't leave his computer logged on last time he was over. I honestly see you saying that starting more trouble then it should. You say you trust him completely, but I see that to be a lie, considering you went through his messages. Let it be for now, unless you have solid information that he DID cheat, don't say anything, its not worth it.




      “We've all got both light and dark inside us. What matters is the part we choose to act on. That's who we really are.”
      -J.K. Rowling

    • Re: Should I confront him?

      Well, personally, I think you should not confront him, for two reasons-you don't know if that actually happened, and you'll have to tell him how you found out because, if you lie, you'll probably end up getting caught up in the lie. So, I suggest you try not to let it get to you. He could just be saying that to his friend, even though nothing like that ever happened. If there were hints or anything suggesting that he actually did something, then I'd say you should confront him. But, that doesn't seem to be the case here.

      And if it did happen, I think you should focus on the fact that he didn't do anything. He refrained from giving in to the temptation and kept you in mind. Really, I don't think confronting him about this is necessary. And if you do decide to confront him, you should at least be honest. It's not right to expect honesty from him when you're not being honest in return. Just my opinion.
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    • Re: Should I confront him?

      Like mentioned above, the important thing is that he DIDNT do anything. That says volumes about your guy if he is in another country. However, It is your decision as whether or not to mention things. Personally, I think it is something that would eat you from the inside with the unknown (things that we dont know or doubt tend to do that) and the only solution would be to sit down and have a serious conversation. However, you also run risking your relationship when you do that. I guess its a high risk game your stuck in.

      Just think about how much you trust him, try to quantify or qualify it. Then try to do the same with the effect that uncertainty will have on you. Compare the two, make a decision, and stick to it no matter what.

      Hope it all works out :)