Covering a Few Family Issues.

    • Covering a Few Family Issues.

      Hello :)

      Family issues can be hard to handle, and I think I can safely say that all of us have at some point in our lives experienced some form of negative family event. Perhaps some of us have parents who act like they don't care, perhaps families have been torn apart from disagreements, divorces or difficult circumstances - whatever the problem is, there is always a solution to go with it, so don't worry about it too much, and more importantly than anything - never let it get you down.

      I am going to go through a few problems that could occur as a family issue, and give a few suggestions as to how you could handle them, or maybe just give some advice or shed some light on the matters. I hope that I manage to help someone :)

      Divorce or Split-Up in the Family. This is never a good thing, because the more vulnerable people often find themselves trapped in the middle of it all. What you have to remember is that in many cases, people must seperate for the good of everyone else. If your mother and father have split up and you feel like your family is falling apart, this is not always the case. If they stay together, then they will be unhappy, and that will make everyone else unhappy. While it does cause a lot of disruption in the family, this parting could, in the long run, make everyone much happier. While going through the difficult stage of the split up, it is best if you try to stay out of the way and don't take your frustration out on anyone, because this will not help the matter at all. Perhaps you should go and stay with another family member for a while, or maybe a close friend, until the process is over with.

      Abusive, Unreliable or Alcohol-Dependant Parents - In the case of a severely abusive parent, help must be found at once. I understand that this can seem like a daunting task, and if you are scared or feel that no good will come from it, that is understandable too, but you must remember that people are trained to deal with these problems, and they know that you need help, and notice the signs that show when a person is in trouble. There are many people who you can talk to about these matters. First of all, your school will have some form of counsillor who will be able to aid you in finding help, and s/he is very well connected, so you will be able to find all the right people. Secondly, you could tell a close adult family member who you know will be able to help you. They will be able to support you in many ways and they will be understanding and try to help you. Thirdly, go straight to social services, who will be able to arrange a safe place for you to stay while the problem is being resolved, perhaps with a friend or family member. Finally, the Support Leader Team on this site would be more than happy to give you a list of contacts that can help you. I know that it can be very, very difficult to handle situations like this, and I commend anyone who is getting through it. Remember, don't lose hope! The solution isn't far away, you just need to work for it. You're not alone.

      If you feel that you have an unreliable parent who perhaps doesn't pay enough attention to your needs, you are not alone. Many people in the world feel this way, but what you have to remember is that it is not always your parent's fault. No one gives them a how-to guide when you are born on how to raise you, so try not to take your frustration out on them, because it can be very counter-productive. Instead, try to get their attention in different ways. A letter left for them describing in detail how you feel and how your parent can change can help, sitting down and talking with them and telling them what is wrong, or even passing the message through another family member can have good effects too.

      Alcohol-dependant parents can be difficult to handle, and in many cases I know that you can lose hope, but it's not the end of the world, I assure you. There is almost always a reason for them being so dependant on alcohol (or even drugs for that matter). What you must, must, must realise is that it's not easy for them to quit, so leaving notes, talking to them or getting a family member to talk to them probably won't work. You have to get in touch with the right people who can help both you and your parents. Talking to the school counsillor is a great start here. S/He will be able to arrange a meeting with your parent and talk to them about their problems, and offer a range of different methods of helping them. Also, if this fails, they can get in touch with the right people to arrange even more methods of help for both you and your parents. Remember, you're not alone in this, there are people there to help you. Stay strong through it and you'll get through it.Help is always there, but you need to take action to get it! Dont' be scared, you'll find what you are looking for.The Support Leader Team is at your service when you need us as well :)

      Sexually Abusive Family Members - whether it's your parents, uncle, brother, or another relative, this is no less a crime, and you do not have to just "deal with it". It could be a problem that happened in the past, a problem that happened recently, or a problem that keeps happening. You can stop this, and there are people to help you. If it is not your parents who are doing this to you, then tell your parents straight away, even if the person who did it to you threatened you. Your parents will be able to get the police involved, and no harm will come to you or the rest of your family. If your parents don't believe you, or if it is your parents who are responsible, then contact the school counsillor or the police, and tell them in detail what happened. It can be a very deep and traumatic experience, going through sexual abuse, and I feel sorry for any person who has experienced it. The carnal desires of the flesh that many people have can be sick and twisted, and no one should have to deal with it. Do something, act against this crime! You are never alone, I promise you that there is always someone there for you. It's never too late.

      I know that there are a thousand other family problems out there, and there is no way I could address all of them, so please, feel free to contact us if you are in search of help. The world is a big, daunting place, but that doesn't mean that we have to feel trapped around our family where we are supposed to feel safe. It's never too late to find help, there are people there for you! Don't let yourself fall into depression. Fight for yourself, don't let yourself down, you know you can do this.

      1. Possible people to contact;
      2. School counsillors.
      3. Parents.
      4. Friends.
      5. Family members.
      6. Social services (look on internet for those active in your area or ask friends to do so for you).
      7. Police.
      8. Youth mentors.
      9. Therapists.

      There are many more, this is just a few to start off with. If you would like any help with contacting any form of help in your area, then please don't hesitate to contact me or another support Leader. We can offer advice, support or just be there to listen if it's what you need. We're nice people :) I can give more detailed information on contacting different people or I can give one-to-one advice if required, please don't hesitate to contact me. Search for my hotmail (Sinister-Devotion@hotmail.co.uk) on facebook, contact me on msn (yosomono@hotmail.co.uk) or private message me on this site or ask for me in this thread if you would like to talk about anything.

      I hope that this will help someone, and if anyone has anything at all to add, please feel free to post that as well. Family issues can surround us, but we don't need to feel trapped. We can do something about it; it's never too late, and you're not alone :)

      Good luck.

      ~Tenris
      [LEFT][SIZE=4]My mind turns to metal, its gears are turning,[/SIZE][/LEFT]
      [LEFT][SIZE=4]And my sanity withers and dies.[/SIZE][/LEFT]
      [LEFT][SIZE=4]This world all around me, it's bitter and twisted;[/SIZE][/LEFT]
      [LEFT][SIZE=4]Reality, madness or lies?[/SIZE][/LEFT]