My little sister & her morals.

    • My little sister & her morals.

      Okay, so my sister, F, is finishing up her 8th grade year. F and I don't get along very much. The reason is we have such different morals in life. I have no idea why we are so opposite from each other but we are. We clash on a daily basis. I don't even know where to begin with this story. Okay, so I have a boyfriend and we have been going out for 2 years and 3 months. One thing though is that my boyfriend has a twin. We are all Juniors in high school. But i find it so strange that my sister and him hit it off so well. It was pretty annoying. Anyways, one day she had left her e-mail open and I saw it was from my boyfriends old e-mail account that he and his twin shared when they were younger. I opened it thinking, hey it's almost valentines day maybe he's planning somethingg.. so i open it and to my surprise, my boyfriends twin and F have been sending pictures together. And you know what I mean when I say sending pictures.. I was outraged. He is 17 and she is barely 14. So that got me looking at her other e-mails from other guys and apparently she sends A LOT of pictures to different guys. When she came home, I tried talking to her. All she did was get pissed off and yelled at me looking through her stuff. I understand that, but she one, shouldn't leave her e-mail account open and two she shouldn't be doing that in the first place. I didn't say anything to parents but I hoped that she would have stopped but she didn't. She still continued. I thought that this was only something my parents could deal with. They were soo mad. It caused this huge argument she got in trouble and from that day forward, I became the "evil sister". It sucks because all I was trying to do was help her; show her that doing these kind of things is not normal nor good. My parents took her to a therapist that she could talk to but apparently she just talked so much shit about me. When she would get into fights with me, she would be like my therapist thinks you're the one who should be in here not me. Honestly, I had no idea that therapist could even say that kind of things. I thought they were supposed to guide you…? A couple months went by and I found her e-mail open again...this time though i found that she was talking to some guy, lived a town over. Apparently, they met up and they had sex. I was so upset. How could my little sister be doing this? She is too young. At her age, I wasn't even thinking about doing anything with a guy besides make out. I felt like I did something wrong as an older sister. I went crying to my parents to tell them. (I know some of you are thinking, wow she tells her parents everything. But I try talking to her, but she just doesn't listen to me.) But my parents starting yelling at me, telling me that I’m just a bad influence that she is just doing all of this because of the things that I do with my boyfriend. But I have always told my sister that to always wait for that one person that you love the most because you can never get that back. I told her that I’m older and that I’ve been with my boyfriend for a long time and I know that no matter how our relationship turns out, breaking up or marrying each other, that I would NEVER regret it. In her case, she didn't even know the guy. It hurts so bad because at one point my parents told me that I’m making all this stuff up, that I’m the one who needs help, etc. I even hear stuff at school, a school she doesn't even go to, about her doing stuff with guys my age. It's ridiculous. I don't know what to do anymore. She just recently started smoking weed with her so called boyfriend. I don't even know anymore. My parents have basically put on me that I’m the one who influenced all of this. I feel like she had fallen off a cliff but I’m there holding on to her hand but everyone around me, including herself, are telling me to let her go. I just can't though. I try to stay out of it. But I can't. It's so hard. What should I do?

      Sorry I tried to keep this as clear and short as possible. It's just too much to explain.
      mistakes are painful, but they're the only way to find out who you really are.
    • Re: My little sister & her morals.

      chickensalad wrote:

      Okay, so my sister, F, is finishing up her 8th grade year. F and I don't get along very much. The reason is we have such different morals in life.

      I have no idea why we are so opposite from each other but we are. We clash on a daily basis. I don't even know where to begin with this story. Okay, so I have a boyfriend and we have been going out for 2 years and 3 months. One thing though is that my boyfriend has a twin.

      We are all Juniors in high school. But i find it so strange that my sister and him hit it off so well. It was pretty annoying. Anyways, one day she had left her e-mail open and I saw it was from my boyfriends old e-mail account that he and his twin shared when they were younger.

      I opened it thinking, hey it's almost valentines day maybe he's planning somethingg.. so i open it and to my surprise, my boyfriends twin and F have been sending pictures together. And you know what I mean when I say sending pictures.. I was outraged. He is 17 and she is barely 14. So that got me looking at her other e-mails from other guys and apparently she sends A LOT of pictures to different guys.

      When she came home, I tried talking to her. All she did was get pissed off and yelled at me looking through her stuff. I understand that, but she one, shouldn't leave her e-mail account open and two she shouldn't be doing that in the first place. I didn't say anything to parents but I hoped that she would have stopped but she didn't. She still continued. I thought that this was only something my parents could deal with.

      They were soo mad. It caused this huge argument she got in trouble and from that day forward, I became the "evil sister". It sucks because all I was trying to do was help her; show her that doing these kind of things is not normal nor good.

      My parents took her to a therapist that she could talk to but apparently she just talked so much shit about me. When she would get into fights with me, she would be like my therapist thinks you're the one who should be in here not me. Honestly, I had no idea that therapist could even say that kind of things. I thought they were supposed to guide you…? A couple months went by and I found her e-mail open again...this time though i found that she was talking to some guy, lived a town over. Apparently, they met up and they had sex. I was so upset.

      How could my little sister be doing this? She is too young. At her age, I wasn't even thinking about doing anything with a guy besides make out. I felt like I did something wrong as an older sister. I went crying to my parents to tell them. (I know some of you are thinking, wow she tells her parents everything. But I try talking to her, but she just doesn't listen to me.) But my parents starting yelling at me, telling me that I’m just a bad influence that she is just doing all of this because of the things that I do with my boyfriend. But I have always told my sister that to always wait for that one person that you love the most because you can never get that back. I told her that I’m older and that I’ve been with my boyfriend for a long time and I know that no matter how our relationship turns out, breaking up or marrying each other, that I would NEVER regret it. In her case, she didn't even know the guy.

      It hurts so bad because at one point my parents told me that I’m making all this stuff up, that I’m the one who needs help, etc. I even hear stuff at school, a school she doesn't even go to, about her doing stuff with guys my age. It's ridiculous.

      I don't know what to do anymore. She just recently started smoking weed with her so called boyfriend. I don't even know anymore. My parents have basically put on me that I’m the one who influenced all of this. I feel like she had fallen off a cliff but I’m there holding on to her hand but everyone around me, including herself, are telling me to let her go. I just can't though. I try to stay out of it. But I can't. It's so hard.

      What should I do?

      Sorry I tried to keep this as clear and short as possible. It's just too much to explain.



      Wow... *Wall of text critics you for 10k*

      First off paragraphs make things much easier to read.

      As for your younger sister, its easy to wanna try an help/suggest good morals/ways to her but... usually when someone has bad ways/mindset its hard to sway them from it. I think you should pray about it. You can also try and have another sit down with her, where you should bestow good knowlegde upon her, in hopes that she may change her ways, but like I said I dont think its going to happen that easy.

      Only way for one in her state to learn/change is to feel. Unfortunately a tramatic event needs to take place and hopefully she will have an epiphany where she will re-evaluate herself and her decision moving forward...

      Keep the faith in her tho and try to stay positive w/ her despite her wrongs...

      bless
      Undefined by theories...
    • Re: My little sister & her morals.

      To begin with, your parents are strange people. I don't know why they're accusing you of lying and then claiming you've negatively influenced her. It makes no sense. You're clearly making an effort to relay the information to them accurately and in a timely fashion, and considering she had a history of questionable behavior and required a therapist they should be able to see that your sister is on a downward spiral. And you're not bad or in the wrong for telling your parents at all. I applaud you for trying to help her. I'd do the same thing if my sister were involved, and I'm sure most of the people here would too.

      But at this point, your parents aren't doing anything to get her on the right path, and you have nothing more you can do. What I recommend is simply allowing her to make her own decisions, hoping that she has the better sense to stop eventually. I know all too well what it's like to act out, but eventually you realize that what you're doing is outright ridiculous and you begin to fix your life piece by piece... on your own. At this point, your sister is in a stage where any attempt to help is an interference and an attack. All an intervention by anybody would do is make her feel like she's being attacked, and it could cause her to do something even more stupid or rebellious.

      Let her live her own life. Let her make her own decisions. Let her behave herself however she deems fit. Let her learn from her mistakes. After all, a lesson that's forced is nowhere near as effective as a lesson you chose to learn and accept. But at the same time, while you don't interfere in what she does, don't offer any help either. She gets in trouble with the law? She got herself there, she has to get herself out. She has problems with boys? She got herself there, she has to get herself out. And so forth. Eventually she'll do something stupid and will require help, but once she sees that you've offered all the help you can and the only help she'll get is from herself she'll begin to come back to reality. At least, that's what I've experienced. Yes, she will go through rough and hard times, and you'll want so desperately to help her, but this is something she needs to realize on her own. And bailing her out only encourages her by sending the message that her actions don't have consequences. As for your parents, if she gets herself in deep somewhere, and they blame you for not trying to help her, tell them straight up that you tried time after time but all that happened was they blamed you.