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Old 02-14-2009, 02:00 PM   #1 (permalink)
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In the middle of writting a song

This is what I do when im bored at 1:30 am. Anyways this is what Ive got so far...

Its kinda scrambled right now... dont know If I will keep it like this. Sounds great in my head though. Once I make all the chord progressions and stuff I will post a recording.

American kids in American parking lots
There's nothing much to do around here but hang out
Isn't that just like everywhere else?

There's a war veteran standing by the interstate, on a ramp
Yeah, he's asking for a ride, he's hoping for a kickdown
"Anything you can spare to give helps"

And as the Southwest Florida sun sets
The sky is painted hues of pink and orange
All directions are calling
Life is waiting to be ruined

The city cops come down and they bust up the party
We go to a diner we drink bitter black coffee
Gas station billboard reads "3.49 and counting"

We're coming down from a high
We're starting to sober up
Boys crushing on girls crushing on boys into the Southwest Florida morning
We are still young

And as the Southwest Florida sun sets
The sky is painted hues of pink and orange
All directions are calling
Life is waiting to be ruined



Doesnt Really have anything to do with anything. It will just sound kinda cool :P
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Old 02-14-2009, 03:25 PM   #2 (permalink)
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Re: In the middle of writting a song

That's really good, I loved the other song you recorded and posted here so I'm looking forward to hearing this one.
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Old 02-17-2009, 07:06 AM   #3 (permalink)
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Re: In the middle of writting a song

you got something
its disorganized and all around but you got something here
reminds me of the kinda stuff i wrote a few years ago
make the flow better, make it rhyme and you got yourself a done deal

and i dig the line "Life is waiting to be ruined"
reminds me of "everything you do is leading to a point where you just won't know what to do"

keep it up
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Old 02-17-2009, 02:03 PM   #4 (permalink)
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Re: In the middle of writting a song

Hey, Hey Hey!

I like.
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Old 02-17-2009, 02:07 PM   #5 (permalink)
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Re: In the middle of writting a song

Sorry to do a double post, but I think it'd be good using the guitar, like country style?
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Old 02-17-2009, 03:33 PM   #6 (permalink)
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Re: In the middle of writting a song

Quote:
Originally Posted by xxjulyxx View Post
make it rhyme
Why?
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Old 02-18-2009, 06:09 AM   #7 (permalink)
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Re: In the middle of writting a song

I finished it. I cant record it tonight though. I Will sometime later tomorrow. I think you guys will really like it.

Thanks for the feedback. Its always nice to get some advice before everything in the song is set in stone.
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Old 02-18-2009, 08:23 AM   #8 (permalink)
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Re: In the middle of writting a song

I like it. However, I think it's a little disorganized and I would switch and change some lyrics.
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Old 02-18-2009, 09:33 PM   #9 (permalink)
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Re: In the middle of writting a song

Overall your lyrics are sick.

Just the organisition needs to be sorted that's all - good job!
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Old 07-24-2009, 04:29 AM   #10 (permalink)
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Re: In the middle of writting a song

youtube com/watch?v=qYO1Gge-9UQ

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