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02-14-2009, 02:00 PM
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#1 (permalink)
| | Super Senior Member
Name: Daniel Gender: Male Join Date: Oct 2008 Location: Saskatoon, Saskatchewan, Canada Posts: 1,141
Money: 3,350 Last Online: 11-05-2009 09:18 AM My Mood:  | In the middle of writting a song
This is what I do when im bored at 1:30 am. Anyways this is what Ive got so far...
Its kinda scrambled right now... dont know If I will keep it like this. Sounds great in my head though. Once I make all the chord progressions and stuff I will post a recording.
American kids in American parking lots
There's nothing much to do around here but hang out
Isn't that just like everywhere else?
There's a war veteran standing by the interstate, on a ramp
Yeah, he's asking for a ride, he's hoping for a kickdown
"Anything you can spare to give helps"
And as the Southwest Florida sun sets
The sky is painted hues of pink and orange
All directions are calling
Life is waiting to be ruined
The city cops come down and they bust up the party
We go to a diner we drink bitter black coffee
Gas station billboard reads "3.49 and counting"
We're coming down from a high
We're starting to sober up
Boys crushing on girls crushing on boys into the Southwest Florida morning
We are still young
And as the Southwest Florida sun sets
The sky is painted hues of pink and orange
All directions are calling
Life is waiting to be ruined
Doesnt Really have anything to do with anything. It will just sound kinda cool :P
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02-14-2009, 03:25 PM
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#2 (permalink)
| | Peace, Love and Unity
Name: The Peacebringer Gender: Unsure Join Date: Aug 2008 Location: Australia Posts: 3,153
Money: 7,859 | Re: In the middle of writting a song
That's really good, I loved the other song you recorded and posted here so I'm looking forward to hearing this one.
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Do what thou wilt.  | |
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02-17-2009, 07:06 AM
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#3 (permalink)
| | Senior Member
Name: julie<3 Gender: Female Join Date: Jan 2009 Posts: 876
Money: 2,980 Last Online: Yesterday 03:56 AM My Mood:  | Re: In the middle of writting a song
you got something
its disorganized and all around but you got something here
reminds me of the kinda stuff i wrote a few years ago
make the flow better, make it rhyme and you got yourself a done deal
and i dig the line "Life is waiting to be ruined"
reminds me of "everything you do is leading to a point where you just won't know what to do"
keep it up
__________________ This is the part of me that needs medication
This is the part of me that believes in heaven | |
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02-17-2009, 02:03 PM
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#4 (permalink)
| | Super Elite Member
Name: Cat Gender: Male Join Date: Feb 2009 Location: Fighting some fires, yo. Posts: 5,644
Money: -1,457 Last Online: 01-13-2010 03:45 PM My Mood:  | Re: In the middle of writting a song
Hey, Hey Hey!
I like.
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02-17-2009, 02:07 PM
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#5 (permalink)
| | Super Elite Member
Name: Cat Gender: Male Join Date: Feb 2009 Location: Fighting some fires, yo. Posts: 5,644
Money: -1,457 Last Online: 01-13-2010 03:45 PM My Mood: | Re: In the middle of writting a song
Sorry to do a double post, but I think it'd be good using the guitar, like country style?
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02-17-2009, 03:33 PM
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#6 (permalink)
| | Peace, Love and Unity
Name: The Peacebringer Gender: Unsure Join Date: Aug 2008 Location: Australia Posts: 3,153
Money: 7,859 | Re: In the middle of writting a song
Quote:
Originally Posted by xxjulyxx  make it rhyme | Why?
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Do what thou wilt. | |
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02-18-2009, 06:09 AM
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#7 (permalink)
| | Super Senior Member
Name: Daniel Gender: Male Join Date: Oct 2008 Location: Saskatoon, Saskatchewan, Canada Posts: 1,141
Money: 3,350 Last Online: 11-05-2009 09:18 AM My Mood: | Re: In the middle of writting a song
I finished it. I cant record it tonight though. I Will sometime later tomorrow. I think you guys will really like it.
Thanks for the feedback. Its always nice to get some advice before everything in the song is set in stone.
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02-18-2009, 08:23 AM
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#8 (permalink)
| | Get ready, get set, don't go.♥
Name: Brittney Gender: Female Join Date: Oct 2008 Location: ♥ Posts: 3,299
Money: 32,330 Last Online: 11-07-2009 10:30 PM My Mood:  | Re: In the middle of writting a song
I like it. However, I think it's a little disorganized and I would switch and change some lyrics.
__________________ I am.... RockMeBaby<3 | |
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02-18-2009, 09:33 PM
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#9 (permalink)
| | Super Elite Member
Name: Leigh Gender: Female Join Date: Apr 2008 Location: France mate Posts: 9,292
Money: 22,788 Last Online: 02-02-2010 02:15 AM My Mood: | Re: In the middle of writting a song
Overall your lyrics are sick.
Just the organisition needs to be sorted that's all - good job!
__________________
When you walked past me, I could have ruined everything Carlisle has built for us, right then and there. If I hadn’t been denying my thirst for the last, well, too many years, I wouldn’t have been able to stop myself.
- Edward ♥
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07-24-2009, 04:29 AM
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#10 (permalink)
| | New Member
Join Date: Jul 2009 Posts: 1
Money: 22 Last Online: 07-24-2009 04:29 AM | Re: In the middle of writting a song
youtube com/watch?v=qYO1Gge-9UQ
owned | |
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