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I had 2 serious relationships before Donnie and one after it. Hearing that he loves me shouldn't have freaked me out.....I've known plenty of grown-ass women to panick when they hear the words, "I love you" but just because I was a teenager back then doesn't mean I was protected from the pain.... I just really want to get a hold of him to tell him how sorry I am whether he wants to give me a 2nd chance or not is up to him but I wouldn't blame him if he didnt. LauraJane, I appreciate your "enthus…

Quote from Aoka: “I know it must be hard losing someone you care so much about, and not having any connections with them at all. Loving someone and losing them is part of being a teenager, and it's a growing process for you both. Panicking and being fearful of falling for someone is normal, but you could have easily avoided it if you would have looked past the fact of you ending up getting hurt. Not every person is going to hurt you, or break your heart. Just try to look past that in future rela…

It doesnt necessarily means he's cheating on you, although I see your concern.....I'd be worried too. I think ANY woman would be scared to hear that her boyfriend is cheating on her so you're not paranoid =) I would talk to him and if he doesn't listen, cut him off completely. I dont wanna tell you to go and look through his stuff because an invasion of privacy is the first thing that pisses guys off......Believe it or not, men ARE very private sometimes and they dont do it because they hide som…

musicians are easy to spot..."You're a jerk, I know, you're a jerk, I know" hahahaha ....Man does that song get annoying! what makes me mad about the guy in this song is that HE'S PROUD OF BEING A JERK!!! Thats not something to be proud of....I say guys who have this kind of attitude are obviously playas in my opinion

I know what you're all thinking...."You have another problem AGAIN??" No this time, its actually a good problem.....if thats even possible... I had an epiphany tonight, a GOOD epiphany and it made me realize how much of a fucking asshole I am. I'm laying in bed, about to fall asleep and then my ex boyfriend comes into my mind (before I realized I was a lesbian) and this guy, my ex, Donnie is his name....he treated me the way every girl wants to be treated....A girl wants to be noticed, to feel s…

Thats a good point....I mean, I've been doing the same things my mother has been doing lately, hiding behind a bottle of booze and I guess thats one way of putting my head in the sand and hoping everything I feel right now will just disappear on its own....

I've been there before when I really didn't need it but at least if I'm there, I'd feel like I'm trying to find an answer to something. I dont really know anymore. I just feel confused and I've been hurting the people I love the most because of my temper and because I'm not thinking clearly....I dont want to hurt them anymore. I really dont ---------- Post added at 09:27 AM ---------- Previous post was at 09:24 AM ---------- And the only other way I've found to make myself feel better and to con…

Quote from Chloe93: “I think it really depends on the the person you are. Some people find it easier to cope and deal and sort things out in completely different ways. For me, I wouldn't like it. Just because then im cooped with other people with the same problems. And I would feel almost caustraphobic. Or however you spell it..” That is a good point....my mom thinks its a good idea simply because for the first time, a doctor didn't bring it up....I did. She said, "Yeah, I think it would be good…

Throughout my entire life, I've had 6 psychiatrists, 12 psychologists, 4 social workers and 2 guidance counselors (plus some serious anger management which never helped much...) I was dianosed with: 1. ADD (Attention Defasit Disorder) 2. ADHD (Attention Defasit Hyperactive Disorder) 3. OCD (Obsessive Compulsive Disorder) 4. Severe Paranoia (Panick Attacks) 5. Multiple Personality Disorder 6. Full-fledged Schizophrenic 7. Sociopathism 8. Psychopathism 9. Severe Emotional Disturbances 10. Bipolar …

I just haven't felt this in so long it took me by surprise....someone once said that if I feel hurt or heartache, it tells me that my heart is still there. But this kind of heartache is different than most of my last ones. This one wasn't caused my an ex girlfriend or a lover. It was about my own life. I'm just trying to be happy with it. And if I went for a walk, my best friend would know that something is up because I dont go for walks without him. I dont go ANYWHERE without him and he knows t…

I try my best to hide it...that sad part is I WANT to talk to them about this but not right now...... My best friend (Mischa, the one who lives with me), he's dealing with almost $12,000 of debt....he doesn't need to hear about my problems right now. He's so into his own life that he barely notices everyone else. My other best friend, Kai (even though she annoys the hell out of me), she is getting married....so she's under enough stress as it is. My mom just had a job interview yesterday and is …

Its just like everyones in my family is telling me to get a job and i just wanna scream at them, "you think I'm not trying to??" but in the meantime, UNTIL someone calls me back, how do I stop feeling miserable about myself? the economy is so shitty that I just feel absolutely horrible about myself for NOT having a job....I made the mistake of quitting my last job at the hotel. (I was a housekeeper) and I had to quit my job AND drop out of college altogether in the same month, in the same DAY ac…

Quote from captain_kurenai: “Ah, my ex lied about his sobriety. He was a druggie and spent more time getting high than with me. He always said "Oh, I'm sorry I'm busy today so I can't hang out with you, maybe tomorrow" Next thing you know, I'm told he was at some club getting fucking stoned. I was dumb enough to let it go and said to myself "It's okay, he still cares about me because he's still with me at least" Then there were the lies about how he was being investigated for drugs. Even though …

Quote from captain_kurenai: “I used to be like that too ... Been in a relationship of lies and then being dumped like I was nothing. It was hard to recover and I had built walls around my heart too. Then I met my boyfriend and, for some reason, just after seeing him and the way he looked at me, even though we hadn't even talked to each other yet there was something about him that I didn't want to let go of. So, I took a risk and jumped the walls, barreled forward and now 3 years later, he's stil…

I know this sounds cliche but....You never know what you have until its gone. Then I added on my own part that makes more sense than the cliche verse....but sometimes it takes leaving to realize what you had. Maybe she'll realize what a good thing she had going with you when she actually moves. I know it hurts hun, but nobody can write your goodbyes for you. We can help you along the way if you need to. I used to be an English major in college so if you ever need help editing anything, dont hesi…

I've applied to Mcdonald's, burger king, wendy's, arby's, denny's, kings, red lobster, dunkin donuts, starbucks, anywhere I can possibly find, I've applied to and now that I'm not drunk anymore, I will go job hunting again today only to find that nowhere is gonna be hiring and that nobody will call me back. I have the same question Princeton asked in the musical Avenue Q: "Why does EVERYTHING have to be so hard?" I dont care how I make the cash right now. The fact that my mom is blaming all of h…

I HAve been making an effort....for 21 years i've made aneffort and since ive lost my job ive beenmakingan effort....its not working. i havent got any calls back because im not qualified for shit....im usless

if i everty wanna kill myself it ownt hurt. it will make everyones life easier if i just do that. my mom wont bitch at me, my ex wont get mad at me, my best friend wont have to live with my parents anymore and it'll just be easier. i'm a pain and a a burden. i'm a loser and nothing more

I haves never felkt releeif for my life....how am i supposed to feel it without booze? how? I've never been able to deal with something on my own....you knwo how you have a bad aday and then you get home and you take a shower and eat some dinner and relax? you sigh a great sigh and think, "this is much better" I will never feel that so what difference wil it make? ---------- Post added at 06:11 PM ---------- Previous post was at 06:09 PM ---------- nand the worst part is...all fo my closes t fri…

im so drubnk ands i srtill feel nmiseravble...i thoughtr boozxew was supposed to mnake me forget about my feeluings...i hgate mnyself foir evertrthing