I've been in something similar to your issues, and the thing I can tell you is that you have to do whats best for you. I know that you may be in love with him, but you need to get out of that relationship. No woman should ever have to put up with abuse from her boyfriend, you deserve better. If you ask anyone else they're going to tell you that you need to get out of that relationship. Aggression progresses, so at this point theres a chance that it might get worse. He may start punching you, slapping you, throwing you down stairs. I don't think you want it to get to that point before you leave him. Abusers are very manipulative,he might try to tell you that he loves you, and he just gets mad sometimes. I'm just giving you the worst possible scenario here because I want you to realize that you don't need to be in this relationship, you do deserve better.

It's not so much that he's controlling, it's moreso he's being abusive towards you. Physically, and emotionally. If you don't feel comfortable in the situation you're in, and he makes you stay, that's legit abuse. You need to get yourself out of that before he has the chance to get any worse. This is typically the first signs of an abusive relationship, and it will build from there. He's not gonna change. It's going to go from holding you down, to pushing you down, to hitting you. Do what's going to help you the most, and get away from him before you get hurt.

Take care.

linda and heather are right here angela, no person deserves to have that happen to them, and aggression does get worse unless it is checked!! i would strongly suggest getting out of this relationship, i know you love him and that it will be tough to leave him but you have to think of your health and safety above love, i think if you truely love someone you would never lay a finger on them, and if he doesnt deal with it now, it will get worse! i think you need to talk to him now, try and get him into a program that deals with anger management or else you have to get out of this relationship!! like i said no person deserves to be treated in this way!!! i hope this situation resolves itself very very quickly for your sake!!!
i hope this helps in some way!!
please be careful

You have to leave him. You are going to end up hurt. This relationship is not going to get any better. Don't expect to be with him for 20 years all lovey dovey.

Now, what you can do is stay with him for a long long long long long period of time, getting abused and mistreated and wake up one day at the age of 40 and say to yourself, he is not gonna change and then leave him.

Or you can leave him immediately and say, I'll find someone who will make me happy and find true love that will last.

So you have 2 options. You just have to be smart and pick the right one.

But I guarantee you, he will end up hurting you more and more if you stay with him.

Why can't you leave him?

Here's the deal, men are supposed to treat women with respect, and guys should NEVER put their hands on a women like that. Yes you say you love him, but do you love him when he does this kind of stuff to you? Do you love him no matter what or only when things go well? If you answered yes to the seccond then it's probably best to get out of this relationship.

Here is the honest truth Angela. If you are experiencing problems with your relationship already the chances are that you aren't meant to be together, and remeber that getting married doesn't help solve problems like this, and typically makes them worse. I know you never mentioned marriage, but I felt that I should at least mention that.

If your really are in love with him though, then there are a few thing you can do to work this out. Firstly he needs to know how you feel about his behaivior, because if he isn't told how will he ever stop? Secondly make sure that leaving him is an option, because you can't allow people to treat you like crap with no consequences. Thirdly he needs to meet with a therapist or something of the sort to help him with his abusiveness.

But honestly if you two fight a lot then I just doesn't seem like you two are meant to be.

I hope whatever path you choose goes well, and if you ever need anything don't hesitate to ask.

He is definitely being physically absusive. Ok, so he isn't hitting you - but he is showing signs that he will use his strength to force you into situations you don't want to be and can't get out of. That's a really bad sign. You ask what you can do - not much. These type of guys usually never stop being this way. All you can do is tell him how much it upsets you and ask him not to do it again. If he does it again - then you know he isn't respecting your rights and opinions. He can't love you very much if he won't do that.

It's too bad. I think you should talk with him very seriously.
If he do that again, you must have to consult with parents or consultent.
but i envy you that you have the true love. Good luck!

You really should get out as soon as possible, don't use the "love" as an excuse, you just don't want to be alone, which is fine... There are a lot of guys out there, that won't control you.

about 5'10" and 200 some pounds. Has a very bad temper, and likes to fight. Is horny as fuck most of the time haha.

a decent guy i suppose.

=/

You need to leave him. He clearly doesn't love you that much if he is abusive to you. Talk to your parents or whatever about it, if you feel you can't leave him, and ask for their advice. Maybe even talk to him about his behaviour if you think he would stop

amando96 wrote:

You really should get out as soon as possible, don't use the "love" as an excuse, you just don't want to be alone, which is fine... There are a lot of guys out there, that won't control you.

about 5'10" and 200 some pounds. Has a very bad temper, and likes to fight. Is horny as fuck most of the time haha.

a decent guy i suppose.

=/

This.

Well most the guys already got it but basically break up with him. Holding spoiled milk won't make it any better (Bad metaphor but atleast i tried :p) Also if he wont leave you alone (b/c guys like him have trouble letting go) just get a particularly strong and muscular friend to tell him to leave you a lone.

To the original poster, simply put, he doesn't truly love you. There is no way that he does. I was in love with my ex for three years and never once did I do anything physically aggressive toward her. Sure, we had heated arguments but never anything physically abusive (aside from that one time she slapped me). Infact, even when she cheated on me, the worst thing that I could think of by retaliation was throwing her cel-phone into a lake (maybe even her teddy). But I never thought about physically hurting her. I would have rather put my fist into a steel wall rather than on the girl I was in love with.

Please, please, take my word for it. From a guy's perspective. This is not what you want in a relationship. Him, being the guy, knows that he can easily overpower you, which should automatically force him to not use his physical strength as a means to get you to listen to his ranting. It is not healthy for you, him or the relationship. It CAN & WILL GET WORSE if you don't do anything about it.

"Love is many things. Though, one thing it should never be is physically abusive"

Leave him now. Ive seen people in similar cases aad it never turns out for the best :blush: and i know you females always saying "its so hard to leave hm". well one day its going to come to the point when you wont be able to come back due to beating you to death. So would you rather something bad happen or move on and find something better. cause i promise you there are many of fellas that will love to grab you up lol But yeah it wont work so leave him

GET OUT WHILE YOU STILL CAN! Guys like him will only get worse and worse as time goes on. I've never dealt with a guy like yours, but from doing research and hearing it from others around me, end this while you still have air in your lungs. He's only going to get more violent and I know you love him, but you have to love YOU more. I'm struggling with this same problem (loving myself more) right now. You probably feel like if you left him, you wouldn't find anyone else to love you but trust me, there are plenty of guys out there who treat you like gold. Everything will be okay, you just gotta weigh out your options and make the decision to what's best for YOU and YOU only!

Tell him if he ever touches you in an abusive way again your leaving...and if he does you have to leave. You need to have enough self worth to know you deserve better. Often times people stay in abusive relationships because of self esteem issues rather than love. Don't put up with this behavior...because if you do it will lower your self esteem and perhaps become a pattern in your future dating life.

direct quote from a thread i just made:

Mr. Peel wrote:

Girls like it when you treat em like shit. true story. They'll always come back to you.

not saying u like when he does it cuz otherwise u wouldnt have made this thread but theres something rooted in there u need to think about that relates to that quote:wink:

Not just controlling, he's violent.
Nothing, leave him or you'll be in abusive ralationship with him forever. He wont change and you know that. Better to leave him now then to live with him all your life, have kids who will watc daddy beats mum and all that....
Dump him, be strong.

I know love seems really really real sometimes but just listen to this.

You don't know how many stories there are about abusive relationships and how they went wrong. I don't mean to rant but I am seeing big red blaring warning signs around your issue and it says to get out of that relationship NOW. If he treats you likr that now he will later. What if your married to him four years from now? He will most likely be more aggressive. I know you love him but if he loved you, he would of treated you much better. Dont delay break up and don't get back together.

darklingcode