my friend

    • my friend

      my friend and i James have built up an amazing friendship since Christmas, in march time i told him i liked him he said the feeling was mutual but nothing could happen cause i was A) older than him and B) we are both going to uni in September and he thought it'd be best if we went single... i wasnt sure if he was saying this to be nice and let me down gently or if he was genuine.

      i kinda decided as we started to hang out more he was being genuine, we would spend breaks at college together and hang out all the time.

      we have been out drinking a few times and got ourselves in a right mess which has always been a giggle, the last time we went out he kissed me, we laughed it off, drunken kiss and stuff and have carried on the same.

      me James and one of my girl friends went swimming the other day which was fun, we fooled around being generally childish. my girl friend commented on how touchy we are, and how he was acting in the pool, hugging me from behind then dunking me under, how he had his arm round me in the jacuzzi... and just other things he was doing.

      im just a bit confused about the situation and don't wanna bring it up.
      he's been an amazing friend over the last few months and dont wanna mention anything, making it awkward.
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    • Re: my friend

      I see many of my older friends act like that. They are touchy and do things you've described, but it is just their nature. If it is only you than I don't know about that.

      If he wants something more than your friendship, and you don't want to risk it, then I say let him show you if that's the case. Let him tell you that he wants something more. He's a great friend, you don't wanna mess that up as you said. He knows that you're ready for more, and when he is he'll tell you.
      Well that's my opinion at least.
      [LEFT][SIZE=2]"Adapt and Overcome"[/SIZE][/LEFT]
      [RIGHT]"Funny how the truth sounds so cliche"[/RIGHT]
      [RIGHT]~Jack Ingram[/RIGHT]
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    • Re: my friend

      Usually, people who are closer with each other can get away with that type of behavior, I wouldn't think twice about it with some of my friends, it happens. However, there are some strings attached here, you've both had mutual feelings for each other at one point and you've cut it close to starting a relationship, if it wasn't for the circumstances.

      This situation currently seems virtually harmless yet, it has potential to take a turn in the wrong direction. You're starting to have your concerns and you're mixing your emotions around, you need to be direct about your feelings, honest. If you feel that you're getting too involved you need to board the train before it's too late. You have a good friendship with this guy, unless you're absolutely positive something could work out between you two, don't jeopardize what you have. Regardless, I think you should talk to him about it, gather information and then process the situation from there.

      The post was edited 2 times, last by Raylan Givens ().

    • Re: my friend

      Kevmo7 wrote:

      isnt there a bit more to this story? some negatives among all of those positives?

      ... not really we always have such a great time when we hang out! the only negative would be us being 3 hours away from eachother in september

      Gooeyswat wrote:

      I see many of my older friends act like that. They are touchy and do things you've described, but it is just their nature. If it is only you than I don't know about that.

      If he wants something more than your friendship, and you don't want to risk it, then I say let him show you if that's the case. Let him tell you that he wants something more. He's a great friend, you don't wanna mess that up as you said. He knows that you're ready for more, and when he is he'll tell you.
      Well that's my opinion at least.

      i'm like that with older friends ive known since high school, not someone ive known about 8 months. even though at times he feels a lot closer that most of my high school friends.
      its not that i dont want to risk it, i'm scared i'll lose him as a friend. but then he's been there for me through a lot recently

      Cade wrote:

      Usually, people who are closer with each other can get away with that type of behavior, I wouldn't think twice about it with some of my friends, it happens. However, there are some strings attached here, you've both had mutual feelings for each other at one point and you've cut it close to starting a relationship, if it wasn't for the circumstances.

      This situation currently seems virtually harmless yet, it has potential to take a turn in the wrong direction. You're starting to have your concerns and you're mixing your emotions around, you need to be direct about your feelings, honest. If you feel that you're getting too involved you need to board the train before it's too late. You have a good friendship with this guy, unless you're absolutely positive something could work out between you two, don't jeopardize what you have. Regardless, I think you should talk to him about it, gather information and then process the situation from there.


      i think no matter how much i still kinda like him i should step back and hold onto the friendship rather than trying to go any further :/ nothing ever works out right for me, so maybe that's best. :(
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    • Re: my friend

      It sounds like you guys are having a good time. Just have fun, be playful and if a sexual situation arises, embrace it. He's a friend of 8 months, your leaving in september, theres no reason to worry about losing a friendship or to worry about starting a relationship. Just hang out, have fun and let things happen. No matter what, you're still going away in September.

    • Re: my friend

      Maybe he is fucking right about the college thing and being away from each other. Maybe he wants to score more and not be tied to a relationship? Who the clean fuck knows? Only way to find out is asking him...

      For a fucking guy not going to go out with a girl whos older than him is weird. I love going out with girls older than me, fuck!

      Anyway, from the swimming pool thing, sounds like he is in a daze and doesn't know what the fuck he wants to be honest.
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    • Re: my friend

      Boys dont make such lame excuses as nothing could work out since the girl is older. However uni thing is maybe a genuine reason, if you both are going to be far apart, it might be difficult to work out the relationship, specially since you havent started out even.

      By being flirty or touchy, maybe its because he is a close friend and he is just as close to his friends, OR now that he knows about your feelings, maybe he can get things done without being pushed off and probably thats working for him, like kissing or touchy etc. Hmm since you have those feelings, you might like it but later you wouldnt when nothing works out. So better to get things out straight now, if he wants nothing then he shouldnt get so close to you.

      Did he get so close like touchy or kissing, I mean just being that close that gives you mixed feelings BEFORE you told him you liked him?

    • Re: my friend

      he said he had feelings for me too so maybe thats why we are close as friends and in a kinda physical way .. but not too physical.
      we'd only been friends a few months when we had the "i kinda like you" conversation, i guess we've been a lot closer since about May.

      i think he may be right, going to uni, we wont see eachother etc. but its all a little confusing
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    • Re: my friend

      Wait wait, he first told you that he is not interested in relationship at all because this or that reasons. And then he claims that he kinda likes you and gets a little bit physical as well after that? Ahm Ahm, looks like a guy game here. He probably is looking only to have some close/little physical relationship kinda thing till they are off to uni.

      I am seriously suggesting to back off and be friends ONLY, do not let him get physical to you, even though it is only a bit. A guy honestly is NEVER indirect like that. Its always the girls who are weird and confused about feelings, not the guys. And a guy would never going to give lame reasons of "you are old" or stuff like that and later claim he kinda likes the girl and get physical.

      And if its certain about going to uni and not seeing each other then better to not get any close, it will only hurt. I really feel that he is only playing with your feelings. Do as it pleases you, I just gave my opinion reading what you just wrote.

    • Re: my friend

      You're flirting with each other because you like one-another, this is a simple lack of control given your imminent departure for University. It's just as confusing to him as his behaviours are to you.

      If you feel like it, just have sex to clear the tension, then move on. You're both aware that University will provide plenty of opportunities for a potentially more stable relationship.
      Where is to go nothing where do so far really like as when?

    • Re: my friend

      Mayank wrote:

      Wait wait, he first told you that he is not interested in relationship at all because this or that reasons. And then he claims that he kinda likes you and gets a little bit physical as well after that? Ahm Ahm, looks like a guy game here. He probably is looking only to have some close/little physical relationship kinda thing till they are off to uni.

      I am seriously suggesting to back off and be friends ONLY, do not let him get physical to you, even though it is only a bit. A guy honestly is NEVER indirect like that. Its always the girls who are weird and confused about feelings, not the guys. And a guy would never going to give lame reasons of "you are old" or stuff like that and later claim he kinda likes the girl and get physical.

      And if its certain about going to uni and not seeing each other then better to not get any close, it will only hurt. I really feel that he is only playing with your feelings. Do as it pleases you, I just gave my opinion reading what you just wrote.


      no, we told each other we liked each other, he used the uni and age excuses this was march time, then we've been hanging out more since then, and over the last month or so it's been more full on i guess...

      we are going to uni, will see each other at holiday time and maybe visit if we can afford the trains.

      Bamboo wrote:

      You're flirting with each other because you like one-another, this is a simple lack of control given your imminent departure for University. It's just as confusing to him as his behaviours are to you.

      If you feel like it, just have sex to clear the tension, then move on. You're both aware that University will provide plenty of opportunities for a potentially more stable relationship.


      i cant have sex with him, it always ruins stuff with my guy friends. it's a very bad idea. and i dont want to lose him as a friend when we're at uni just because of sex.
      i just dont understand why he's become more touchy feely and stuff recently
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