I Need Help...

    • I Need Help...

      Ok, where to start...

      around a month ago, i broke up with my GF of 15 months. The split was very amicable, and we both stayed friends afterwards.
      The reason for the split, was that she said she was totally confused of her feelings for me and didnt know if or not she loved me anymore, so as a solution, i said that we should split, so that she can get her head in order and see what happens from there.
      I also told her there and then that i still loved her with all my heart and that if her feelings should return, to tell me...

      A month has now passed, and in that time, it has been made quite apparent that her feelings are not going to return and that we are over, but i still have the huge issue of still being in love with her, and i am finding it very very hard to try and find a way to get over her, even if i look at a picture of her, my heart goes and i start getting very jealous over it.

      I have tryed many ways to try and get my mind off things and start to move on, but nothing seems to be working.

      One example of this, is i went upto london with a good mate of mine, we chilled in some arcades and watched a movie, which really helped me keep my mind off her...
      The backfire... i goto sleep that night only to dream of her and cry my eyes out over losing her in my dream...(i find it almost impossible to cry in reality, i havnt shed a tear of sadness in almost 3 years, yet i cry in my dreams very easily..). i didnt cry when we split up(only in that dream), though the shock of it has hit me many times, causing me to go into repression and sadness...

      another being i threw out all the cards and stuff she gave me telling me that she loved me, looking at it was just too hard for me..

      i have tryed just not talking to her, but because i dont tell her that im trying not to talk to her, she ends up talking to me about somthing, which, starts the cycle again

      i really dont know what to do, im trying to get over her, but it seems that everything i do is reminding me of her and all of the good times we had together.
      The relationship we had was, in my opinion, almost perfect, we never fought or argued, we never had fallings out or anything, we were very close and she was always saying how she wanted to be with me forever and that she couldnt be happier, we also lost our virginity to each other the day before my 18th...
      The end just came because she said she had lost her love for me, though she did make clear that she still cares for me alot.
      She even still wears the necklase i gave her back when we were together still to this day, but it hurts even more to see her wearing my necklase while messing about with other guys..

      i personally think that reason we split, was because she started to become distant from me while she was prepping for her exams, to which i gave her some room for a while so she could concentrate on them. This "room" is i think what caused the rift to appear and spread, as she said she shut off all her sexual feelings etc, just to concentrate on her exams, which i totally respected, and so i left her alone...

      when they finished, she was no different to when she was studying for them, so then i knew somthing was wrong...

      this then lead to the split mentioned at the beginning of the post.

      i really dont know what to do, i still love her to pieces, but its obvious she does not share this back anymore, i cant goto alot of my friends because they are on her side, and i met them during the time i was together with her, so they wont be able to help, if anything they will just end up telling me to leave her alone...

      Im starting to lose it...please, help me X(
    • Re: I Need Help...

      Maybe you should just leave her alone for a while. It seems to me that she is telling her friends that she doesn't want you anymore. It is good that you are trying to be with your friends and that you should continue doing that to clear your mind of your ex. You crying in your dreams should go away soon. When you start clearing your mind of your ex your dreams will not be much about her.

      Once your head is clear you should start trying to date other girls. If you know she is not coming back then I would say it's time to search for a someone else to be with.


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    • Re: I Need Help...

      Well, you just have to give it time. You're going out with friends, getting rid of things that remind you of her, etc, which is helpful for you. Just be willing to move on and let go. It seems like you have strong feelings for her, so you can't expect them to go away over night. Go out and do the things you enjoy doing. As time goes by, you will think about her less and it won't make you as sad as you are now. It's hard to get over someone that you love, but it just takes time.

      Maybe you should distance yourself from her, but actually let her know that distancing yourself is what you need. If you let her know, I'm sure she'll understand and give you space. If you think not talking to her for a while would be beneficial to you, then let her know.

      Hope this helped.
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